- Windows 8 Joke Error Messages
- Funny Windows 8 Error Codes
- Mouse Problem?
- Windows 8 Logon Problem
- Television v Windows 8
Windows 8 StoreI drove to the new Microsoft store at Yorkdale in Toronto yesterday. Nice looking store, all out in the open in the center of the mall, solid glass front from floor to ceiling. I could not find the door to get in, yet there were obviously lots of Microtechies inside all gesturing me silently me to come in. But not one of them gave me a hint of how. I went home and read the Windows 8 website. Turns out I was supposed to select any one corner of the store and hover at least 2 inches up for 2 seconds and the glass panel slid upwards. Hey Bill, nice move! [Kindly sent in by Bob Lepp]
- Smash forehead firmly on keyboard to continue.
- Press any key to continue, or any other key to quit .
- BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
- Close your eyes and press 'escape' three times.
- Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Tech Support: Do you have Windows 8 open right now? Customer: Are you crazy? It's -20C outside ...
A Fun Story: Windows 8 Engineer Has Good IdeaThere are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, 'Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work.'
Guide for Computer Techie DrinkersCapacity of whisky in litres, IT style: 0.10 L (litre) - Demo version 0.25 L - Trial version 0.50 L - Personal edition 0.70 L - Professional edition 1.00 L - Network edition 1.75 L - Enterprise 3.00 L - For small business 5.00 L - Corporate edition Bucket of whisky - Extreme edition Sea of whisky - Global edition Moonshine whisky - Home edition
- "One more" - Service pack
- Irish coffee - Recovery tool
- Appetizer - Plugins
- Beer - Patch
- Coca-cola, fanta, 7-UP - Trojan viruses.
Touch and Go
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Computer Mouse JokesHere are sneaky Windows 8 jokes that people with too much time on their hands play on their co-workers, typically on April Fool's Day.
- Tape over the optical sensor of your friend's mouse.
- Variation of this idea. Unplug the original mouse. Plug in a fake mouse. When they check the connection it seems to be working. One from Dr Devious.
Customer: My 13 year-old daughter has put a password on my Windows 8 computer and I can't get in. Advisor: Has she forgotten it? Customer: No she just won't tell me it because I've grounded her.
- It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.
- When was the last time you tuned in to "American Idol" and got a "Error 404" message?
- There are fewer grating color schemes on TV, even on MTV.
- You can go channel-surfing on the TV as much as you want and it will never get viruses.
- A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.
- Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with a "Blue Screen" sign.
- "Law and Order" never slows down when a lot of people tune in.
- You just can't find those cool "Hits of the 80s" infomercials on Windows 8.
- Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to HBO.
- You can't surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.