Funny Jokes all over the world

This page featuring humour from all over the world, fits in with our idea of something for everyone.
In this age of ‘Political correctness’ at least one person a week writes in with
a cheap shot criticising Irish, Women, Polish or Welsh jokes.  Our reply is
to include tasteful jokes about each and every group without bias.
Incidentally, the only complaints that we have had from Australians is – ‘We
want more jokes about Aussies’.

International Humour

This humour comes from a research project on ‘funny jokes‘ conducted by the
British Association for the Advancement of Science.

USA:

Texan: ‘Where are you from?’
Harvard graduate: ‘I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with
prepositions.’

Texan: ‘OK, where in California do you come from, Jackass?’

Canada:

You know you’re from Canada when ……..

1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
3. You find -40C a little chilly.
4. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
5. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
6. You choose a Halloween costume which fits over a snowsuit.
7. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
8. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but
   requires 3 pages for hockey.
9. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.
10. You perk up when you hear theme from ‘Hockey Night in
    Canada’.

Jokes From All Over The World

Australia:

What do you call a woman who can balance 8 beers on her head?

Beatrix.

Europe:

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: ‘Woof.
Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.’

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, ‘There are only nine
words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.’

‘But,’ the dog replied, ‘that would make no sense at all.’

Belgium:

‘Well, you see, there are basically three kinds of people in the world. Those
who can count and those that can’t.’

France:

‘You’re a high-priced lawyer! If I give you 500 dollars, will you answer two
questions?’
‘Absolutely! What’s the second question?’

Sweden:

‘A guy phones the local hospital and yells, ‘You’ve gotta send help! My wife’s
in labour!’

The nurse says, ‘Calm down. Is this her first child?’

He replies, ‘No! This is her husband!’

South Africa

Another Collection of Jokes from Around the World

• The French Government announced yesterday that it is imposing a ban
  on fireworks at Disneyland.  The decision comes after the nightly firework display at the park, located just
  50 Km outside of Paris, France caused soldiers at a nearby French Army
  garrison to surrender to a group of Russian tourists.
• In Los Angeles, a history teacher is in a lot of trouble for
  encouraging her students to oppose the war with Afghanistan.
  The principal was furious and said, ‘Telling kids to oppose the war
  is the French teacher’s job.’
• A sign seen in the window of a shop in Enniskillen, County
  Fermanagh, Northern Ireland. It reads: ‘The bargain basement…is on
  the first floor.’

England:

Stanley decided to lookup his friend Alf, who was a tight-fisted
Yorkshireman.  He found Alf at his bungalow in Huddersfield
stripping the wallpaper from the dining room.  Rather obviously, he
remarked, “You’re decorating, I see.”  To which Alf replied, “Nay
Stanley lad, I’m moving ‘ouse to Bradford.”

See our selection of funny
English jokes

Footnote:
Please send us your jokes from all over the
world.