What we call ‘Progress’ is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.
Havelock Ellis
April Topics
- April Fool Pictures
- Call Center Classics
- Dates for April
- Easter Bunny
- Giant Burger
- Grand National
- Heroic Failures
- Marriage and Relationships
- Money in Muck
- Peas and Potatoes
- Pigeon
- Prison Lodging
- Put Downs
- Puns
- Rules of Life
- Strange But True
- Stress Management
- Tax Return
- Zodiac Signs April
Wash it Again
My mother had decided to trim the household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, ‘Just think, Ivor, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.’
‘Good, ‘my dad quickly replied.’ Wash it again.’
Actual call centre conversations!
Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about’. Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think you mean the telephone point on the wall’.
General Jokes
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
Indian Humour
Gullu Bhai was sitting on his porch, when this man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand.
‘What can I do for you?’ Gullu politely asked.’ Are you selling something?’
‘No, sir, I’m not. I’m a Census Enumerator.’
‘A what?’
‘A Census Enumerator. We’ re trying to find out how many people there are in India.’
‘You’re wasting your time here. I have no idea.’
Funny Put Downs
1) He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
2) He – Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
She – Okay, get out.
3) Better a witty fool than a foolish wit: Shakespeare
4) She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman: Oscar Wilde
