1) The Kitchen Saga
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when he burst into the kitchen.
‘Careful, ‘he cried, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! you’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my word! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’ re going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’
The wife stared at him in amazement, ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’
The husband calmly replied, ‘I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’
2) Eye Test
A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the bottom row were these letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’
‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.
‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied – ‘I know the fellow.’
3) No laughing in the woods
A German has been ordered to stop laughing out loud in the woods after joggers complained that he was disturbing the peace. Accountant Joachim Bahrenfeld, 54, from Datteln said he goes to the woods after work and at weekends to have a good belly laugh.’ It’s part of living for me, like eating, drinking and breathing. I feel much better when I laugh, it’s freeing and healthy, ‘he said.
Now he faces a £4,000 [$7000USD] fine or six months jail if he laughs out loud again after a jogger successfully took him to court saying he was disturbing the peace.
German laugh expert Susanne Maier, who founded the German Laughter Academy which aims to teach serious minded Germans to lighten up, said, ‘Mr Bahrenfeld has been doing what we advise our students to do and that is to find a place they like to have a good old giggle. It would do the person who made the complaint and the judge good to come along to our school and learn for themselves the benefits of letting it all go.’
