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Here is a select of Will and Guy’s Jokes and Funny Notices (3)
Like the rest of the site, this page will grow as I add more jokes and humorous tales. Again, as with the other sections, when it comes to humour, variety is the spice of life.
1) Funny Signs
On a Plumber’s truck:
‘We repair what your husband fixed.’
On another Plumber’s truck:
‘Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.’
In a Restaurant window:
‘Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.’
2a) Irish B&Q Riddle
Q. Is there a B&Q in Dublin?
A. No, but there’s two D’s in Dundalk.
2b) Email from B&Q Customer
Subject: Ellen Macarthur – Round the World Voyage
Customer Service Department
B&Q Sponsor Dept
Dear Sir/Madam
My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back in the same place 72 days later.
Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?
3) Manufacturer’s Notices
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness’.
On Nobby’s peanuts:
‘Warning: contains nuts’.
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication’.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
‘Product will be hot after heating’.
On a Myer hairdryer:
‘Do not use while sleeping’.
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