Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, ‘I’m fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten.’
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, ‘Your wish is granted’, and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn’t realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the cod again and he thought that perhaps he fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn’t see his old pal.’ Where’s Christian?’ he asked.’ He’s at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark’, came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian’s abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, ‘It’s me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.’ Christian replied, ‘No way man, you’ll eat me. you’re now a shark, the enemy and I’ll not be tricked into being your dinner.’
Justin cried back ‘ No, I’m not. That was the old me. I’ve changed.’
‘I’ve found Cod. I’m a prawn again Christian’.
Guy says, this is not really my cup of tea, but as I mentioned on the home page, one man’s meat is another man’s poison. Another factor I find with jokes is that they are mood dependent, perhaps if I read this joke on a different day it may produce a wry smile.
The Cat: a true story contributed by Pauline Henderson
Several years ago when I was returning home from work I encountered a cat tottering down the road. It was dark but in the car headlights I could see that it was in a bad way. It was very emaciated and its fur was sticking up just like a lavatory brush. On wary examination I discovered that it had hardly a tooth in its head and that walking in a straight line was definitely a no-no.
I tentatively put it in the car and drove to the local vet, refusing to pay on the grounds that it was a stray. They sent me to the nearest place [approximately six miles away] as I recall, where it could be treated by the RSPCA [Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals]. I arrived with my teenage son clutching the cat (which incidentally was evidently at death’s door, being strangely reserved and placid), in a towel.
I was informed that the cat was dehydrated; its kidneys were failing and due to having no teeth it was unable to eat. We left it there and returned home.
A ‘ phone call later that evening informed me that the cat needed to be ‘ put down’ and I had to give consent. This I did reluctantly for the sake of the animal.
Later that same evening a neighbour who lived a small distance away knocked on my door and asked if I had seen his wife’s cat. My son immediately disappeared into his bedroom leaving me to face the music. I invited the neighbour to use my ‘ phone to inquire of the RSPCA about the said ‘ stray’ cat while I
urgently pleaded my case regarding its condition.
‘Where is my cat?’ he demanded over the ‘ phone. I looked at him, smiling weakly.
He turned to me, his face grave.
‘It’s in the freezer.’
With my son in a state of complete hysteria in the adjoining room the neighbour left my house determined to retrieve his wife’s cat.
Much later I learned that the cat was twenty one years old and that the owners did not ‘ like’ to have it ‘ put down’. Personally, I think I did them a favour.
