- 1 How Logical is the English Language?
- 1.1 Play with Words - Illogical, Yet Funny English Language
- 1.2 Why is English such a Difficult, Illogical, Yet Funny Language?
- 1.3 Ten of the Best Palindromes
- 1.4 What's In The Meaning
- 1.5 Sweating Like a Pig
- 1.6 Funny English Language - More Examples
- 1.7 English Is CUH-RAY-ZEE
- 1.8 The English Language's Most Terrifying words
- 1.9 Shott or Not?
- 1.10 Americanisms Which Seem Illogical to We British
- 1.11 Ten Meaningless or Irritating English Expressions
- 1.12 See more funny English words and phrases
How Logical is the English Language?English is such a marvellously rich and funny language. Here are illogical, yet amusing examples of playing with English words and having fun.
- Play with Words - Illogical, Yet Funny English Language
- Why is English such a difficult, illogical, yet funny language
- English Is CUH-RAY-ZEE
- English's most terrifying words
- 10 Meaningless or Irritating English Expressions
- The market garden was designed to produce produce.
- The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
- The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.
- Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
- When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.
- How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?
- Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
- In terms of weight lead is in the lead.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
- Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
- I did not object to the object.
- Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.
- Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
And then there are illogical'Engrish' problems see opposite.
- Live not on evil
- Rise to vote, sir!
- Do geese see God?
- Lisa Bonet ate no basil
- Dennis and Edna sinned
- Murder for a jar of red rum
- A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!
- No, it never propagates if I set a gap or prevention
- Tim made us sign it 'Lover'-a revolting issue, dammit!
- Doc note: I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.
- If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, does it not follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged , models deposed, or drycleaners depressed?
- Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted.
- Even more, bed makers could be debunked, baseball players debased, landscapers deflowered, software engineers detested, underwear manufacturers debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.
- A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I warned him about it, he reckoned he could stop any time.....
- I went to the cemetery to lay flowers on a grave. I noticed four grave diggers walking about with a coffin. Three hours later, they were still walking about with it. I thought to myself, 'They've lost the plot.'
- At a cash point yesterday, a little old lady asked me to check her balance. Not being one to disappoint, I pushed the old dear over.
- My son's been asking for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our pet shop and they were £70 each. I can get one cheaper off the web.
- Statistically, six out of seven dwarves are not happy.
- Just heard there's been an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield; 3.1415927 dead.
- Went to a friend's house today. His wife was there with their new-born baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it. I thought that was a bit cruel, so I gave it a dead leg instead.
- I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
- I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it.
- I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to Myself, 'That guy's heading for a breakdown.'
- That will learn you ... - Don't they teach pupils anything in American schools?
- A Regular Cappuccino. - I would not want an irregular coffee.
- Alternate Thanksgiving Turkeys. - Do they osscilate? Or is it reserve, or an alternative?
- Deplane man. - Ambiguous. Is this an American from the south of the country pointing out an aeroplane? Or a male getting off a plane?
- Bi-weekly magazine. - Is this an American phrase for the opposite of a free magazine? Or could it indicate a new periodical genre? I note they are always published every fortnight, that could be a clue!
- At the end of the day
- At this moment in time
- I personally
- With all due respect
- It's a nightmare
- Fairly unique
- Shouldn't of
- It's not rocket science