1) Pay Rise
One Wednesday Martin demanded of his boss, ‘I must have a pay rise. You should realise there are three other companies after me.’
‘Really?’ replied Martin’s boss, ‘And who might these companies be?’
‘Southern Electricity, British Gas and British Telecom’, answered Martin.
2) Restaurant Correction
The above restaurant correction reminds me of the reverse story. A man sent his wife into a Chinese restaurant to ask for 20 No 6. Instead of returning with one packet of cigarettes, she came out with 20 portions of egg fried rice.
Player’s No 6 was a top brand of cigarettes in the 1960’s and 1970s.
3) Visit to the Doctor
One Wednesday, Murphy went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, ‘Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and I always have to repeat things.’
‘Well, ‘the doctor replied, ‘Go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn’t reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we’ll get an idea about the severity of her deafness’.
Sure enough, Murphy goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, ‘Betty, what’s for dinner?’ He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, ‘Betty, what’s for dinner?’
Betty says, ‘That’s the fourth time you asked me. It’s meatloaf.’
4) Vacations
Mr Bawler asked his class of 8 year old pupils where they had been for their summer vacations. Several children had been abroad and some had camped while others had stayed in cottages, hotels or bed and breakfasts.
Samuel was particularly excited to recount how he had been away in a caravan and told the class that they had parked the caravan in a field near to an entertainments club, a shop, shower rooms and several other caravans. He recalled visiting a castle and described long days on a sandy beach.
‘Where did you go to find such a delightful place?’ enquired Mr Bawler.
‘Self-catering, sir?’ Trumpeted Samuel proudly.
