Will and Guy’s Funny Football Bloopers
Thank goodness there is no censorship otherwise we would never have a constant source of football bloopers. Possible David Coleman and his Colemanballs are the most famous, nevertheless, we have trapped some great football bloopers.
One Dozen of the Best Football Bloopers
And now we have the formalities over, we’ll have the National Anthems.
Brian Moore
‘We signed to play until the day we died. And we did’
Jimmy Greaves, bemoaning players frequently change clubs.
The last player to score a hat-trick in a cup final was Stan Mortenson. He even had a final named after him, the Matthews final.
Lawrie McMenemy
It’s now 4-3 to Oldham, the goals are going in like dominoes.
Piccadilly Radio
I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in.
Terry Venables
It slid away from his left boot which was poised with the trigger cocked.
Barry Davies
We have been saying this, both pre-season and before the season started.
Len Ashurst
But as you know, the result for City is not as bad as it sounds on paper.
Steve McIllwenn
Well actually we got the winner up there with three minutes to go, but then they equalised.
Ian McNail
Ian Rush, deadly ten times out of ten, but that wasn’t one of them.
Peter Jones
It was a fair decision, the penalty, even though it was debatable whether it was inside or outside the box.
Bobby Charlton
Believe it or not, goals can change a game.
Mike Channon
Another Dozen Funny Football Bloopers
Ian Rush unleashed his left foot and it hit the back of the net.
Mike England
You’ll be hoping that this run of injuries will stop earlier than it started.
Andrew Gidley
Ian Durant has grown both physically and metaphorically in the close season.
Jock Wallace
It will be a shame if either side lose, and that applies to both sides.
Jock Brown
Peter Shilton conceded five, you don’t get many of those to the dozen.
Des Lynam
Everything in our favour was against us
Danny Blanchflower
I think everyone in the stadium went home happy, except all those people in Rumania.
Ron Greenwood
Butcher goes forward as Ipswich throw their last trump card into the fire.
Byron Butler
John Lyall, very much a claret and blue man, from his stocking feet to his hair.
Peter Jones
Who ever wins today will win the championship no matter who wins.
Denis Law
The Republic of China – back in the Olympic Games for the first time.
David Coleman
Amusing Quotes from Football Managers
Ivor PowellIvor
a Welshman, who successfully managed Bradford City and Carlisle allegedly uttered these words after a good season on the field, ‘Without doubt, one of the secrets of our successful season was the harmonium in the dressing room.’
After a celebratory dinner he was heard to say, ‘We had a lovely meal. Lovely. We had a big steak with all the tarnishings.’
Ron Saunders
Big Ron, of Aston Villa and Birmingham fame, when asked about unrest in the dressing room and behind the scenes supposedly replied, ‘Allegations are all very well but I would like to know who these alligators are.’
When asked to explain how a 2-0 lead became a 3-2 defeat Saunders uttered the immortal words, ‘As I see it, if you’re going to commit suicide, you don’t do it yourself.’
Dick Duckworth Dick Duckworth spoke to John Sadler in 1962 to say how pleased he was with Scunthorpe’s side. He commented, ‘I think I have the best side I’ve ever had now. We’ve a nice blend of old ‘uns and youngsters. I think I’ve got the mucus of a good team.’
[all these quotes come from John Sadler, the respected sports journalist’s article in the Guardian newspaper 14.08.2007]
Will and Guy’s Marvellously Funny Football Howlers
- For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the yellow strip. John Motson, BBC Commentator
- It’s now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score line on Saturday. BBC Radio 5 Live
- Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you’re 80-20 sure of winning it. Ian Darke, Commentator
- Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead. Tom Perrie, Commentator
- It’s headed away by John Clark, using his head. Derek Rae, Commentator
- Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve. John Greig, Football Analyst
- Forest have now lost six matches without winning. David Coleman, BBC Sports Journalist.
- That was only a yard away from being an inch-perfect pass. Murdo Macleod.
- Xavier, who looks just like Zeus, not that I have any idea what Zeus looks like…? Alan Green, BBC Football Commentator
- I’d be surprised if all 22 players are on the field at the end of the game – one’s already been sent off. Jimmy Greaves
- Hearts are now playing with a five-man back four. Alan McInally
- Andy Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season. Alan Parry, Football Commentator
- Scotland don’t have to score tonight, but they do have to win. Billy McNeill, Football Pundit
- He’s got a knock on his shin there, just above the knee. Frank Stapleton, Pundit
- If that had gone in it would have been a goal. David Coleman
- I don’t read the papers, I don’t gamble, I don’t even know what day it is! Steve Mclaren
- If you are in the six-yard box, standing in an offside position, then you are offside. Steve Bruce
Yet More Amusing Bloopers from Footballers and Their Managers
Portsmouth are at Huddersfield, which is always away.
Jimmy Greaves
Bryan Robson, well, he does what he does and his future is in the future.
Ron Greenwood
Wayne Clarke, one of the famous Clarke family, and he’s one of them, of course.
Brian Moore
It’s a Renaissance, or put more simply, some you win, some you lose.
Des Lynam
Football is a game of skill, we kicked them a bit and they kicked us a bit.
Graham Roberts
£5.3 million is a large loaf to be throwing away before a ball’s been kicked.
Jimmy Greaves
So that’s 1-0, sounds like the score at Boundary Park where of course it’s 2-2.
Jack Wainwright
I do want to play the long ball and I do not want to play the short ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about.
Bobby Robson
Interviewer: In your new book, Pat, You’ve devoted a whole chapter to Jimmy Greaves
Pat Jennings: Yes that’s right, well what can you say about Jimmy?
I am a firm believer that if you score one goal the other team have to score two to win.
Howard Wilkinson
Here’s Brian Flynn. His official height is five feet five and he doesn’t look much taller than that.
Hodge scored for Forest after only 22 seconds, totally against the run of play.
Peter Lorenzo
We are really quite lucky this year because Christmas falls on Christmas Day.
Bobby Gould
Well we got nine and you can’t score more than that.
Bobby Robson
Don’t tell those coming in now the result of that fantastic match. Now let’s have another look at Italy’s winning goal.
David Coleman
Wilkins sends an inch perfect pass to no one in particular.
Byron Butler
Even when you’re dead you shouldn’t lie down and let yourself be buried.
Gordon Lee
And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season.
Alan Parry
I don’t know if that result’s enough to lift Birmingham off the bottom of the table, although it’ll certainly take them above Sunderland.
Mike Ingham
Please send us your funny football bloopers.
