1) Play with words – Illogical, Yet Funny English Language
- The market garden was designed to produce produce.
- The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
- The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.
- Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
- When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.
- How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?
- Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
- In terms of weight lead is in the lead.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
- I did not object to the object.
- Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.
- Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?
2) Why is English such a difficult, illogical, yet funny language?
These examples of the English language go some way to allowing us to understand why people from overseas make mistakes when trying to make translations on notices, posters, signs and menus. Guy and Will invite you to enjoy these illogical, yet funny English sentances:
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
And then there are illogical ‘ Engrish’ problems see opposite
3) English’s most terrifying words
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’
Ronald Reagan
Three ripostes to the above.
We need a president who’s fluent in at least one language.
Buck Henry
None are so busy as the fool and knave.
John Dryden
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
George Bernard Shaw
