Spread the humour

Jokes for an Ugly Mood

Jokes for an Ugly Mood

Ugly jokes make you cringe.  Gruesome jokes can help you break out of a bad mood.  Sometimes what you need is an ugly joke that takes to rock bottom.  From the pits the only way is up, everything suddenly begins to be rosy and and even trivial items suddenly become funny.

Jokes to Bring You out of an Ugly Mood

Only in Britain

Only in Britain...are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in Britain...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Crazy Aussie

A drunk driver tried to avoid arrest by leaping into the back of his moving car during a chase in the Australian outback.

Police in the Northern Territory town of Katherine were stunned when they realised the 24-year-old driver had abandoned the controls and jumped on to the back seat with his three passengers in an apparent attempt to fool officers. The runaway car continued for 150 metres at 25mph before police on foot ran it down and applied the brakes.

Police said the driver panicked when they tried to pull him over for a random breath test.

Funny Signs - Keep a look out for similar humour

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

Sign on a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESn't WORK)

I Say I Say Jokes - Do you remember them?

-My wife's gone mad in Venezuela
-Caracas
-Yes, absolutely loopy

One-liner Jokes

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

Dentist

I knew a dentist, Anthony, who used to frequent the ' The Europa' pub in Molesey, Surrey in the 1980's. Anthony always worked long hours and one day he came into the back bar particularly tired and a little distracted. It was half term and all of his patients had been children and he explained how difficult it is to get them to keep their mouths open so that he could carry out a ' check-up' . His last patient of the day had been an adult and he was embarrassed to tell us that he had said to the man, 'Oh good at last a big mouth to deal with.' The man's gurgling sound alerted Anthony to his verbal mistake.

Will's Top 10 Jokes

1) Funny One Liners from Real Résumés

2) School Excuse Notes

3) Real Notes Sent to Milkmen

4) Tommy Cooper Jokes - Cooperisms

5) Will's Drinking Philosophy

6) Video of Running Machine

7) True Story of the Smithsonian Exhibit

8) Oscar Wilde

9) True Newspaper Stories

10) Humour from the Small Ads

   Guy's Top 10 Jokes

1) Witticisms

2) Courtroom Stories

3) Uncle Jack's Suit

4) School Boy Howlers

5) Doctor's Notes

6) Brighter Side of Life  

7) Lawyer's Jokes

8) Gassed Budgies

9) Fifteen Things to Know

10) Welsh Films

Jokes. On the site, we have over 500 jokes, one-liners and witticisms.  The joke section is the quickest growing area of Will and Guy's humour.  Your idea of a funny joke may not match ours, however Will and Guy have each picked a list of top ten jokes.
Spread the humour