Funny Angels for Christmas

Here is our collection of funny angel jokes, cherub pictures and archangel stories.

We like particularly like the ‘cherub’ above to the right!

Clean But Amusing Angel Jokes

Mindy aged 8. ‘I only know the names of one angel, he’s called Herald.’ Mommy sings to me the Christmas Carol:
Hark! The Herald angel sings.
Peter aged 7. ‘Angels don’t eat much, but they drink a lot of milk from Holy Cows.’
Veronica aged 8. ‘I don’t understand about angels; why when a girl fancies a boy, they get an angel to shoot arrows at him.
Bert aged 25. ‘My wife’s an angel’.
Don aged 57. ‘You’re lucky, mine is still alive’.

Another Good Angel Joke

Just before Christmas God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.

Well, he thought for a moment and said, maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another point of view. So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned she went to God and told him yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.

God said this was not good. So He decided to email the 5% that were good and He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what that email said?
Ah, so you didn’t get one either?

Baseball AngelsWhere is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big innings, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son walked home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

What Does The Christmas Angel Look Like?

Angels come in all shapes and sizes; all ages and skin types.
For example, the little old lady who returned your purse last week.
They come disguised as enemies, teachers, students, even fools.
Like the taxi driver who told you that your eyes light up the world, when you smile.
They don’t take life too seriously, they travel light.
Remember the small child who showed you the wonder in simple things.
An angel leaves no forwarding address, they ask nothing in return.
Like the poor man who offered to share his lunch with you.
Like the rich man who showed you that it really is all possible, if only you believe.
Remember the stranger who just happened to come along, when you had lost your way.
Think back to the friend who touched your heart, when you didn’t think you had one.
Some cherubs have freckles, some have dimples, think of some with wrinkles, some without.
They are hard to find when your eyes are closed, but when you choose to see, angels are everywhere you look.
So, open your eyes and count all your Angels; for you are truly blessed.

The reason that angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly.
G.K. Chesterton.

You’ll meet more angels on a winding path than on a straight one.
Daisey Verlaef.

Angels on the Christmas Tree

The fairy at the top of the Christmas tree was originally a little figure of the baby Jesus. In late seventeenth century Germany this became a shining angel. In Victorian Britain, little girls would take the angel down after Christmas and dress him in dolls’ clothes. Eventually the angel turned into a thoroughly female fairy, complete with wand. The transformation was boosted by the pantomimes that became popular in the Victorian era – and, naturally, included a good fairy in the cast.

Cherubs hung on trees, represent the angels who heralded the birth of Christ. This particular example (right) was found in Canterbury Cathedral, Kent, England.

The star, which forms one of the most important ornaments of the Christmas tree, indicates the guiding star which led the shepherds and the magi to the new born Jesus Christ in the stable in Bethlehem.

Stars have knocked angels off the top of the nation’s Christmas trees. Will and Guy have heard that demand has fallen so much that some street retailers have dropped angel tree toppers from shops this year. A decade ago angels were still outselling star tree toppers but now stars outsell angels more than 10-fold.

Make Your Own Christmas Angel

Just as every child should have a pet, so every child should make a Christmas angel.

Guy’s favourite way of making his fun angel was to use a ping-pong ball for the head, but you can also use an egg. I don’t know why I did not think of starting with an old light bulb. As for the body, you are spoilt for choice with cardboard, polystyrene, Styrofoam or old rolls.

For the wings, you could use ribbon, lace or other suitable fabric. Then you can have fun painting your Xmas angel. Use rough painting for the body, but use careful brushstrokes when painting the face.

Another idea I picked up from my nephew was to fix a candle in the angel’s head. However, such funny angels would be better suited to the safety of a table than the potential disaster of catching the tree on fire.

Children’s Funny Ideas About Angels

Item sent to Will and Guy by Kelvin Bowler a Primary Schoolteacher and old teaching friend.

When it gets cold, angels go north for the winter. Sara,6
Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. Mitchell, 7
Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the kid get over it. Vicki, 8
I hear funny angels all the time in my dreams. And I’m sticking with that no matter how many people tell me I’m crazy. Molly, 8
My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science. Henry, 8
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who’s a very good carpenter. Jared, 8
All angels are girls because they’ve got to wear dresses and boys don’t go for it. Antonia, 9
Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why but scientists are working on it. Olive, 9
Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The basic message is where you went wrong before you got dead. Daniel, 9
It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven then there’s still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. Matthew, 9
My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. Katelyn, 9
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado.

An Angel Comes Down to Earth

An eye witness account from New York City, on a cold day in December, some years ago. A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering With cold. A lady approached the young boy and said, ‘My, but you’re in such deep thought staring in that window!’

‘I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,’was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks … Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, ‘No doubt, you will be more comfortable now.’

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her.

‘Are you God’s wife?’

Angel story kindly sent in by Beryl Wilson

Funny Angel Jokes for Christmas