Jokes in Inglish, Inlish or Other Indian English Dialects
Indian English comprises several dialects of English spoken primarily in the Indian subcontinent. These dialects arose during the colonial rule of Britain in India and provide a rich seam of Inglish jokes.
Will and Guy would like to share with our readers some examples of this “type of English speak.” We do not do this to poke fun at our Indian friends, although some expressions do bring a smile to our lips.
Inglish Heard After an English Exam
Devyani; Hey, I wanted to confirm one of my answers. Can you help
Anil: Sure, which one was it?
Devyani: Well, we were supposed to add a suitable preposition in the blank. The question was, ‘Bear ____ me for a while.’
Naturally, the answer was “Bear with me for a while.” This means that the speaker requests the person to be patient for a while.
Devyani, however, changed the meaning completely with her answer by writing: “Bear chased me for a while.”
Ingrish Heard In the Office
Once, my colleague, Hasan, wanted to inform our Director that his mother was seriously ill and that he needed a few days of leave. His application reads as follows:
Wrong Inglish: My mother is very dangerous and I want to saw her. Please leave me three days.
The mother is not dangerous. She’s very ill. Also, he doesn’t want to saw her, which sounds gruesome. Instead he wants to “see her”, or better still, “be by her side”. Finally, he is requesting leave; he doesn’t want the boss to actually leave him for three days.
Correct English: My mother is seriously ill and I would like to be by her side. Therefore, I request you grant me leave for three days.
Tiffin Is an Indian English Word for Light Snack, Tea, Brunch …….. Tiffin Available
Funny Inglish Jokes
More examples of Inlish or Ingrish which you may hear in India or Sri Lanka.
Wrong: Take this letter and post yourself.
Correct: Please take this letter and post it yourself.
Wrong: Udupi Hotel fooding is not good.
Correct: The food at Udupi Hotel is not good.
Inlish Heard In the Park
Another funny incident happened to Vivendra who was walking in a park with his cousin, Farah.
Vivendra: Wow, what a peaceful atmosphere. It’s so calm.
Farah: Yes, this calamity is very nice.
Calamity refers to a disaster or a tragedy. Farah answer mean something completely different to what she meant.
7 Amusing Examples of Inglish or Sri Lankan English
- Sri Lankans may say: I am liking it very much.
Instead of saying: I like it very much. - They might say: She performs many charities.
Instead of: She gives away a lot to charity. - They might say: My all closets are empty.
Instead of: My closets are all empty. - A question: ‘Didn’t you take Rita to school?’
May be answered with: Yes, I didn’t. Instead of: No, I didn’t. - They might say: Let’s go out for some ice-cream-vice-cream.
They mean: Let us go out for some ice-cream. - They might say: What is your good name?
Instead of: What is your name? - Will’s Mother, who is from Sri Lanka used to say such things as:
They did it, no? / He is here, isn’t it?/ She closed the door, did she?
Instead of: They did it, didn’t they? / He is here, isn’t he?/ She closed the door, didn’t she?
Compiled by Will with the help of Dr Roopa Nishi Viswanathan
Inglish Abbreviations
At the other end of the speech spectrum these Inglish, or Ingrish funnies arise from shortening English words.
- Subsi = subsidiary
- Supli = supplementary
- Soopi = superintendent
- Princi = principle
- Gen. Sec. or G. Sec. = General Secretary
- Soc. Sec. = Social Secretary
- Lab ass = laboratory assistant
- Ass wardi = assistant warden
Raj and the Wedding
Raj and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their daughter at the printers.
Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to help her. After the printer had presented her with a draft, she quickly pointed out that the “RSVP ” was missing.
The printer was surprised by Jeeto’s knowledge and asked her if she knew what it meant.
Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied, ‘Vait! I remember. I remember – RSVP. It means “Remember, Send Vedding Present.”‘
Amusing Inlish Picture
Hilarious and Funny Examples of Indian English Gleaned from Jason Baldridge [UK – Daily Telegraph]
‘Entry From Backside Only’, is a funny Ingrish sign that refers to a phrase commonly used on signposts in India to indicate the rear entrance of a building.
More Inglish Jokes
Dear sir, with reference to your above, see my below – popular opening line in official letters.
- Teachress – a female teacher.
- She freaked out last night – she had a good time.
- Hue and Cry notice – title of police missing person newspaper advertisement.
- Don’t do nuisance in public – government admonition against urinating in public.
Perhaps the most endearing aspect of Indian English is the way it has preserved forms now regarded as highly old-fashioned in Britain. Addresses such as “Good sir” and questions like “May I know your good name?” are commonplace, as are terms like “tiffin” and “cantonment”.
Adding to English Words to Create Inglish
Let us start with Inglish humor by examining the practice in Mumbai of adding -fy to a Hindi word to indicate that an action is being done to someone by someone. From the Hindi word muska, to muskafy means to flatter somebody or to butter them up. Similarly, to pataofy is the action of wooing someone.
Examples of Inglish Acronyms
- MCP = Male Chauvinist Pig
- FOC = Free Of Charge
- MPK = Maine Pyar Kiya (a popular movie)
- QSQT = Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak (a popular movie)
- ILU = I Love You (from a song; pronounced ee-lu)
- ABCD = American Born Confused Deshi (native of India)
- FOB = Fresh Off the Boat
The Origin of Inglish Jokes
English has been with India since the early 1600’s, when the East India Company started trading and English missionaries first began their efforts.
The English which is spoken in India is different from that spoken in other regions of the world, and it is regarded as the unique variety which is called Indian English or Inglish.
Indians also shorten many words to create commonly used terms.
Enthusiasm is called enthu; as such, it can be used in new ways. One can say, ‘That guy has a lot of enthu.’ While this is simply an abbreviation, enthu can also be used as an adjective where enthusiasm cannot, as in ‘He’s a real enthu guy.’
The same applies for fundamentals, which is shortened as fundas. ‘She knows her fundas.’ What is interesting about fundas is that when the -as ending is dropped and -u is added, it takes on a new meaning and can be used in a new way. Fundu basically means wonderful or brilliant. One can say ‘He is a fundu person’ or even ‘He is fundu.’
Sardar Style Ingrish Jokes
- Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone in his Phone Book and told them: “My mobile number has changed, earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is 6710”
- Two Sardarjis are looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar 1: Look, so many bandages! Must be a pukka lorry accident case.
Sardar 2: Aaho, lorry number is also written…BC 1760!!! - Sardar Premdeep Singh is sitting his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pants, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
‘Oye, I am only following the instructions,’ Premdeep replies, ‘it says here, “Answer the following questions in brief.”‘
Santa Banta Visits A Bar
Santa goes into a bar in New York.
The man on his right orders a drink, ‘Johnnie Walker, single.’
The man on his left says, ‘Jack Daniels, single.’
Santa says. ‘Santa Singh, married.’
Ten Funny Reasons Why English and Inglish are so Difficult
- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
- They were too close to the door to close it.
- The buck does funny things when the does are present.
- They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
- After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
- I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
English and Inglish
English is one of the official languages of India, with about ninety million speakers according to the 1991 Census.
Fewer than a quarter of a million people speak English as their first language. With the exception of some families who communicate primarily in English, as well as members of the relatively small Anglo-Indian community numbering less than half a million, speakers of Indian English use it as a second or third language, after their respective Indian language(s).
Several idiomatic forms, derived from Indian literary and vernacular language, also have made their way into Indian English. Despite this diversity, there is general homogeneity in syntax and vocabulary among the varieties of Indian English.
Please send us your Inglish jokes, pictures and funny stories.
Funny Inglish Humor
Inglish, Indian English or Indglish Dialects
Indian English or South-Asian English comprises several dialects or varieties of English spoken primarily in the Indian subcontinent. These dialects evolved during and after the colonial rule of Britain in India.
Examples of Funny Inglish
Will and Guy have trawled the net and found these amusing and hilarious examples of Inglish; we do not wish to poke fun at our Indian friends but admit that these items are funny.
Wrong: What o’clock you are coming for dinner?
Correct: What time are you coming for dinner?
Wrong: Mind me to get some flowers this evening.
Correct: Please remind me to get some flowers this evening.
Wrong: Can you capable work this Sunday?
Correct: Are you able to work this Sunday?
Wrong: Both the three of you to do field duty.
Correct: All three of you, go do field duty.
Wrong: If you can do, do. If you cannot, admit yourself.
Correct: If you can do it, do it. If you cannot do it, admit it to yourself.
English and Inglish
English is one of the official languages of India, with about ninety million speakers according to the 1991 Census.
Fewer than a quarter of a million people speak English as their first language. With the exception of some families who communicate primarily in English, as well as members of the relatively small Anglo-Indian community numbering less than half a million, speakers of Indian English use it as a second or third language, after their respective Indian language(s).
Several idiomatic forms, derived from Indian literary and vernacular language, also have made their way into Indian English. Despite this diversity, there is general homogeneity in syntax and vocabulary among the varieties of Indian English.
For the better off, fluent English and a “good” accent convey status faster than titles, names, addresses or offshore bank accounts.
Examples of Funny Inglish / Indianisms or Incorrect Indian English
They might say: Seriously, she is a good person.
Instead of: She is a good person.
They might say: I only told her to do that.
Instead of: I told her to do that.
They might say: Tom was not there but.
Instead of: But Tom was not there.
They might say: She had so much of work to do that …..
Instead of: She had so much work to do that …..
They might say: Let us discuss about this.
Instead of: Let us discuss this.
They might say: He does this always.
Instead of: He always does this.
Origins of Inglish
English has been with India since the early 1600’s, when the East India Company started trading and English missionaries first began their efforts.
The English which is spoken in India is different from that spoken in other regions of the world, and it is regarded as the unique variety which is called Indian English or Inglish.
Indians also shorten many words to create commonly used terms.
Enthusiasm is called enthu; as such, it can be used in new ways. One can say, ‘That guy has a lot of enthu.’ While this is simply an abbreviation, enthu can also be used as an adjective where enthusiasm cannot, as in ‘He’s a real enthu guy.’
The same applies for fundamentals, which is shortened as fundas. ‘She knows her fundas.’ What is interesting about fundas is that when the -as ending is dropped and -u is added, it takes on a new meaning and can be used in a new way. Fundu basically means wonderful or brilliant. One can say ‘He is a fundu person’ or even ‘He is fundu.’
Adding to English Words to Create Funny Inglish
Another example is the practice in Mumbai of adding -fy to a Hindi word to indicate that an action is being done to someone by someone. From the Hindi word muska, to muskafy means to flatter somebody or to butter them up. Similarly, to pataofy is the action of wooing someone.
Inlish Abbreviations
- Subsi = subsidiary
- Supli = supplementary
- Soopi = superintendent
- Princi = principle
- Gen. Sec. or G. Sec. = General Secretary
- Soc. Sec. = Social Secretary
- Lab ass = laboratory assistant
- Ass wardi = assistant warden
Examples of Inglish Acronyms
- MCP = Male Chauvinist Pig
- FOC = Free Of Charge
- MPK = Maine Pyar Kiya (a popular movie)
- QSQT = Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak (a popular movie)
- ILU = I Love You (from a song; pronounced ee-lu)
- ABCD = American Born Confused Deshi (native of India)
- FOB = Fresh Off the Boat
Inglish Information Gleaned from Jason Baldridge [UK – Daily Telegraph]
Hilarious and Funny Examples of Indian English
Entry From Backside Only, refers to a phrase commonly used on signposts in India to indicate the rear entrance of a building
More Inglish Humour
Dear sir, with reference to your above see my below – popular opening line in official letters.
- Teachress – a female teacher.
- She freaked out last night – she had a good time.
- Hue and Cry notice – title of police missing person newspaper advertisement.
- Don’t do nuisance in public – government admonition against urinating in public
Perhaps the most endearing aspect of Indian English is the way it has preserved forms now regarded as highly old-fashioned in Britain. Addresses such as “Good sir” and questions like “May I know your good name?” are commonplace, as are terms like “tiffin” and “cantonment”.
English the Dalit Goddess
India’s “Untouchables” to Build Temple to “Goddess of the English Language”
Learning English is the Route to Success
Will and Guy have learned that India’s downtrodden “untouchables” are to open a temple to a “Goddess of the English language” in honour of Lord Macaulay, an architect of the British Empire.
Leaders of India’s low-caste Dalits [meaning literally the broken people] are to celebrate the opening of a temple shaped like a desktop computer to inspire “untouchable” children to improve their prospects in life by learning English. They believe learning English will open up new opportunities for India’s 160 million Dalits in higher education and high-status government careers.
Dalits are India’s most persecuted caste and its members suffer violence and discrimination throughout the country.
Leaders of the influential Dalit movement in Uttar Pradesh state, where the pro-dalit Bahujan Samaj Party is in power, believe more could escape the worst aspects of “untouchability” if they master the English language.
A foundation stone was laid in April and a 30 inch brass statue of the “goddess” was dispatched from New Delhi to Lakimpuri Kheri village in Uttar Pradesh where campaigners are hoping to open the temple formally in honour of Lord Macaulay, the 19th Century colonial official who sought to create an English-speaking Indian middle-class elite.
‘She is the symbol of Dalit renaissance,’ Chandra Bhan Prasad, a Dalit writer who came up with the idea of the Goddess of English, told us. ‘She holds a pen in her right hand which shows she is literate. She is dressed well and sports a huge hat – it’s a symbol of defiance that she is rejecting the old traditional dress code. In her left hand, she holds a book which is the constitution of India which gave Dalits equal rights. She stands on top of a computer which means we will use English to rise up the ladder and become free forever.’
Mr Prasad also says the importance of English cannot be overstated in today’s India.
‘It’s not possible to get by in today’s world without English. Even to communicate with people in other Indian states, you need to know either the local language or English. Since you cannot learn multiple Indian languages, English has to be used as the link language.’
English, he believes, will increase the Dalit youths’ chances of getting into institutes of higher education and improve their employment prospects and raise their position in society from low menial jobs to careers in law, education and government.
Ten Amusing Reasons Why English is Difficult
- We polish the Polish furniture.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- A farm can produce produce.
- The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
- The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
- The present is a good time to present the present.
- At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
- The dove dove into the bushes.
- I did not object to the object.
- The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
Please send us your funny Inglish humor.
