The Economic Disaster is So Bad That
- I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
- CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
- The Mafia is laying off judges.
- If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
- Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
- McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
- Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
- Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
Economic crisis jokes kindly sent in by Dave Sharpe.
Swine Flu
I’ve just been diagnosed with gammon flu.
I originally had swine flu but I’ve been cured!
Another Natural Disaster: Bird Flu?
One Lump – Or Two?
Dennis, a carpet fitter, had just finished laying a carpet for Mrs Branch. He popped outside out for a smoke, only to realise that he had mislaid his cigarettes. He retraced his steps and saw in the middle of the room, under the carpet, what appeared to be a small lump.
‘No sense in taking up the entire carpet for one pack of fags,’ Dennis muttered to himself. So he took get out his hammer and flattened the hump with a couple of sharp blows.
Dennis began tidying up when Mrs Branch came into the room and handed him his cigarettes. ‘I found them in the hallway.’ she said, ‘Now,’ she continued, looking around the room imploringly, ‘if only I could find the canary.’
Iceland Ash Disaster
- Despite my magma-nimous efforts to reduce the air industry’s carbon footprint, I seem to have caused something of a pa-lava.
- A man is shopping in a Tesco store in Iceland. When he gets to the till and pays for his shopping the girl behind the till says, ‘Do you want any ash back?’
- All this ash cloud talk is going over my head.
- What did the Icelandic Volcano say to the earthquake? ‘It’s not my fault.
- Iceland, we wanted your cash, not your ash.
- Waiter, there’s volcanic ash in my soup. I know sir, it’s a no-fly zone.
Hurricane Katrina at New Orleans
Funny, Amusing and True Folly Stories
Jack the Treacle Eater – Funny Folly HouseOne story heard by Will and Guy is that of “Jack the Treacle Eater”. The legend tells us that Jack was a local runner whose role was to carry messages for the Messiter family of Barwick Park, to London and back; we were told that he trained on treacle, to keep him going and hence his name.
Now, his commemorative tower can be found in Barwick Park, Somerset, England. Does the picture to the right remind you of a man with huge thighs? Or can you imagine those stones in the garden folly to be the messages?
Grolsch Disaster
There have been some terrible road accidents, but this beer disaster must be one of the most exasperating.
Wait a minute in this funny beer pic can I see some intact bottles of Grolsch beer in the second crate from the front? Does anyone have a 10-20 on this Big-R?
Car Crash – Check Out That Sign
Please send us your funny disasters.
