1) Nobel Prize
Bob is walking down a country road when he spots Farmer Harris standing in the middle of a huge field of corn doing absolutely nothing. Bob, curious to find out what’s happening, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, ‘Excuse me Farmer Harris, could you tell me what you are you doing?’
‘I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize, ‘the farmer replies.
‘A Nobel Prize?’ enquires Bob, puzzled. ‘How?’
‘Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.’
2) Reginald’s new diet
Reginald was terribly overweight, so his doctor placed him on a strict diet.
‘I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds, ‘his doctor assured him.
When Reginald returned he shocked his doctor by having lost almost twenty pounds.
‘Why, that’s amazing, ‘the doctor said, greatly impressed, ‘You certainly must have followed my instructions.’
Reginald nodded, ‘I’ll tell you what though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day.’
‘Why, from hunger?’ asked his doctor.
‘No, from all that skipping.’
3) Barbara’s Pie
Barbara, during her nurse’s training at a hospital just outside Washington, DC, had little money for meals, so she often resorted to the food provided at the hospital refectory, even though she had a great dislike for its rather bland taste.
Barbara often took her breaks in the kitchen, and sometimes kindly visitors would give her some of the treats they had brought for patients who had not wanted to eat them.
On one particular evening an English woman, from the East end of London, brought a home made pie to the kitchen and said to Barbara, ‘Would you eat this up, love?’
Barbara and her student friend devoured every last delicious crumb.
Soon their benefactor returned, however, and asked, ‘Is me ‘usband’s pie ‘ot yet, dearie?’
