Funny Lolcat Pictures

Never feed your cat anything that doesn’t match the carpet.

Many lolcat images with captions are written as if the cat were a baby or a little child with minimal command of the English language. Will and Guy have decided to suppliment our selected lolcat pictures with interesting and fun prose/poetry.

Five Favourite and Fun Cat Quotations

A cat has absolute emotional honesty. Ernest Hemingway
The smallest feline is a masterpiece. Leonardo Da Vinci
Cats invented self-esteem. Erma Bombeck
I gave my cat a bath the other day… they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that …. Steve Martin
Way down deep, we’re all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. Jim Davis (Garfield creator)

Cats are Wonderful Friends

Gentle eyes that see so much, paws that have the quiet touch,
Purrs to signal “all is well” and show more love than words could tell.

Graceful movements touched with pride, a calming presence by our side
A friendship that takes time to grow
Small wonder why we love them so.

Anon

Note:
Cats use their sense of smell as a means for identification.

Will and Guy’s Favourite Fifteen Fun Facts and Cat Trivia

Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that we are big cats. This influences their behaviour in many ways.
Cats have been domesticated for only half as long as dogs.
Americans spend more money on cat food than they do on baby food.
The average cat food meal is the equivalent to about five mice.
The chlorine in fresh tap water irritates sensitive parts of the cat’s nose. Let tap water sit for 24 hours before giving it to a cat.
A male cat is called a “tom” and a female cat is called a “queen.”
In Ancient Egypt, killing a cat was a crime punishable by death.
The first cat show was in 1871 at the Crystal Palace in London.
Like birds, cats have a homing ability that uses its biological clock, the angle of the sun, and the Earth’s magnetic field. A cat taken far from its home can return to it. However, if a cat’s owners move too far from its home, the cat can’t find them.
Cats use their sense of smell as a means for identification.
A cat has four rows of whiskers on each side. A cat uses its whiskers to determine if a space is large enough to squeeze through. The whiskers act as feelers or antennae, helping the animal to judge the precise width of any passage.
You can tell a cat’s mood by looking into its eyes. A frightened or excited cat will have large, round pupils. An angry cat will have narrow pupils. The pupil size is related as much to the cat’s emotions as to the degree of light.
A cat can also express happiness by slightly closing its eyes or slowly blinking.
Mother cats teach their kittens to use the litter box.
A person who loves cats is called an ailurophile; cat haters are known as ailurophobes.

The Naming of Cats

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have three different names
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, or George or Bill Bailey –
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter –
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum –
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover –
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

By T S Elliot

Fabulous Cat Poems

Black Cat

A cat as black
As blackest coal
Is out upon
His midnight stroll,
His steps are soft,
His walk is slow,
His eyes are gold,
They flash and glow.
And so I run
And so I duck,
I do not need
His black-cat luck.
Anon

Pussy, Pussy *Baudrons

“Pussy, pussy baudrons
Where have you been?”
“I’ve been to London,
To see the Queen!”
“Pussy, pussy baudrons,
What got your there?”
“I got a good fat mousikie,
Running up the stair.”

*Scottish word originally from Glasgow meaning cats.
A Scottish Nursery Rhyme

Cats

There’s music in a hammer,
There’s music in a nail,
There’s music in a tom-cat
When you tread upon his tail.
Author Unknown

Please send us your funny lolcat pictures.

Lolcat – Funny Lol Cat Pictures