1) A pleasant trip in a pleasure boat
If only we had remembered to strap on the harness.
2) Just when you thought things could not get worse
Dad gets into trouble. This very large pilchard seems to be pulling his leg.
3) Steering a Straight Course
Commodore Cleary, a steamboat captain, brought Barney, his son, along on a short cruise up river to show him what he did for a living. All Barney really wanted to do was steer the boat. Insisting that his father taught him enough to handle the job he asked the pilot to let him take the helm.
‘Okay,’ said the pilot, ‘but you must pass a small test first. If I asked you to turn to the left, what nautical term should I use?’
‘Turn to port,’ answered Barney.
‘Correct,’ agreed the pilot. ‘If I wanted you to turn the boat to the right, what direction would that be?’
‘Starboard,’ replied Barney grinning from ear to ear.
‘Good for you,’ commented the pilot.
‘And straight?’ enquired the pilot.
Barney quickly replied, ‘Without ice.’
