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The nutty soldier

Our mission is to amuse you with a wide variety of jokes, amusing anecdotes and thought provoking images. We also aim to surprise, but never shock you.
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, ‘That’s not it’ and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: ‘That’s it.’
Big Eric
One day, Dave, the bus driver, was in his bus when the biggest man he had ever seen got on. The giant looked at the driver and growled, ‘Big Eric doesn’t pay’, and took his seat. Dave was only a little man and he didn’t really want to argue.
This happened for several days. After a week, Dave was beginning to get a little angry. Everybody else paid, so why not the big man?
So Dave went to the gym and started a course of body-building. He didn’t want to be frightened of Big Eric any longer.
Eight weeks later the driver had strong muscles and was feeling very fit.
At the usual stop, Big Eric got on.’ Big Eric doesn’t pay’, he barked; but this time Dave was prepared for him. He stood up, shaking slightly, and said between clenched teeth, ‘Oh, yeah? And why doesn’t Big Eric pay?’
‘Because Big Eric has got a bus pass’, the man replied.
Tempus Fugit (Time Flies)

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, ‘Now don’t get mad at me….I know We’ve been friends for a long time…..but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.’
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, ‘How soon do you need to know?’
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