Yom Kippur is Jewish religious festival that starts at sunset on the
evening of the 10th day of their civil new year (Tishrei 10).
- Yom Kippur - Day of
Yom Kippur Dates
Favourite, Clean and Funny Jokes for Yom Kippur
- Rosh Hashanah
Ten days after the start of Rosh Hashanah comes Yom Kippur. Jews
all over the world do not eat or drink for 24 hours. Yom Kippur is a day for
thoughts and prayers generally at the synagogue. All adults are required to
fast. Boys and girls before their Bar or Bat Mitzvahs are not required to
fast. People that are too ill to fast are also not required to fast.
After the Yom Kippur services the fast is broken by having breakfast. Now
the real party begins with the breaking of the fast. It is tradition to
celebrate this with a hearty spread of food that may include, for example,
challah, [a bread] pickled and smoked fishes and bagels with cream cheese.
Round challots [bread] are made with honey and raisins. These are another
symbol of a sweet and happy year. We put decorations on the Challot, such as
birds which symbolise doves of peace.
A shofar is a horn, traditionally that of a ram, which is used for Jewish
religious purposes. Shofar blowing is incorporated in synagogue
services at Yom Kippur.
Origin of Yom Kippur
On the 10th of Tishrei, "God restored His goodwill with the Jewish people
gladly and wholeheartedly, saying to Moses 'I have forgiven, as you ask',
and gave him the Second Tablets". This was forgiveness for people of
Israel betraying their new covenant with God by worshipping a Golden Calf.
Thus Yom Kippur was established that as a day of atonement or forgiveness.
See more about Rosh Hashanah which is
10 days befor Rosh Hashanah and establishes the start of the civil Jewish year.
Here are the coinciding secular dates
18th - 19th
2011: October 8th - 9th
2012: September 26th - 27th
2013: September 14th - 15th
2014: October 4th - 5th
23nd - 24th
NB. The Jewish calendar date begins at sundown of the night beforehand,
Will and Guy have learned. Thus all holiday observances begin at sundown on
the secular dates listed, with the following day being the first full day of
the holiday. Jewish calendar dates conclude at nightfall.
1) The Chauffeur
Ron, a Catholic chauffeur was bragging
to his friend how well the Jewish family who employed him treated him.
'You wouldn't believe it,' he bragged. 'I get tips galore, and they
always buy me lunch or dinner when I drive. My salary is great, with
benefits. I get off all holidays, including the Jewish ones, like Rosh
'That sounds pretty good,' said Dave, a friend. 'But what's Rosh
''Oh, that's when they blow the shofar*,' answers Ron.
'What?' spluttered Dave, 'You call that a benefit.'
*A shofar is a horn blown at Jewish festivals.
2) A Priest and a Rabbi
A priest and a rabbi are
discussing the pros and cons of their various religions, and inevitably the
discussion turns to repentance.
Rabbi Shimon Ben Gamliel explains Yom Kippur, the solemn Day of
Atonement, a day of fasting and penitence, while the Father John tells him
all about Lent, and its 40 days of self-denial and absolution from sins.
After the discussion ends, the rabbi goes home to tell his wife, Deborah,
about the conversation, and they discuss the merits of Lent versus Yom
Deborah turns her head and laughs.
The rabbi says, 'What's so funny,
Deborah's response, '40 days of Lent - one day of Yom Kippur...so, even
when it comes to sin, the goyyim* pay retail.....'
*Goyyim is a term for a gentile or non-Jew.
3) Save Me Lord
David Greenbaum is a devoutly religious
man who believes in the power of prayer. His house is caught in the
rising waters of a devastating flood.
A row boat comes by to rescue him; he refuses it because he waits for his
God to save him. As the waters rise Greenbaum climbs higher and higher up
his house, refusing each successive boat that comes by.
Finally he drowns and goes to heaven. He complains bitterly to the Lord
that he was such a good Jew and yet the Lord had forsaken him
you say that, David?' the Lord retorts. 'I sent four boats for you.'
4) The Synagogue
Rick wanted to get into the synagogue
In Gants Hill, London on Yom Kippur, but without a ticket they don't let you
Rick pleads, 'Look, I just want to give a message to Morris in there.'
The man at the door says, 'Sorry sir, you've got to have a ticket.'
Rick replies, 'Just let me in for one minute, then I'll be right out.'
'Alright,' says the man at the door, 'but I better not catch you
5) The Rabbi Has a Heart Attack
The President of the
congregation went to visit Rabbi Ben Azzai, who is in the Tel Aviv hospital
having just suffered a mild heart-attack.
He says, 'Rabbi, the board just voted 12 to 8 to wish you a speedy
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