World Cup football stories and jokes

What we seek is to combine 'Strange but
True'
stories about the World cup, with football jokes.  We also have a reminiscences section, which captures the flavour of each tournament.

• World Cup
  1930  Hosts Uruguay Winners Uruguay
• World Cup 1934  Hosts
  Italy, Winners Italy
• World Cup 1938
  Hosts France, Winners Italy (2nd)
• World Cup 1950  Hosts Brazil, Winners Uruguay
• World Cup 1954  Hosts Switzerland, Winners Germany
• World Cup 1958  Hosts Sweden, Winners Brazil
• World Cup 1962
  Hosts Chile, Winners Brazil (2nd)
• World Cup
  1966  Hosts England, Winners England
• World Cup 1970  Hosts Mexico, Winners Brazil (3rd)
• World Cup 1974  Hosts
  West Germany, Winners West Germany (2nd)
• World Cup 1978  Hosts
  Argentina, Winners Argentina
• World Cup 1982  Hosts Spain, Winners Italy (3rd)
• World Cup 1986  Hosts Mexico, Winners Argentina (2nd)
• World Cup 1990
  Hosts Italy, Winners West Germany (3rd)
• World Cup
  1994  Hosts USA, Winners Brazil (4th)
• World Cup 1998  Hosts
  France, Winners France
• World Cup 2002  Joint
  Hosts Korea and Japan, Winners Brazil (5th)
• World Cup 2006  Hosts Germany,
  Winners Italy (4th)
• World Cup 2010
  Hosts South Africa, Winners Spain
• World Cup 201
  Hosts Brazil

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

One day in Bavaria, the seven dwarfs went off to work in the
salt mine, while Snow White stayed at home as usual to cook their lunch.

However, when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

Tearfully,
Snow White shouted down the mine shaft: 'Hello - is anyone there.  Can you hear me, Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Happy, Grumpy or Sneezy?'
(She knew it would be no good calling Sleepy.)

Then
a voice floated up from the bowels of the mine: 'Germany will win the Soccer World Cup'. '
Thank God!'
said Snow White, 'at least Dopey's

still alive!'

Commentary to look out for:

• Did Kenneth Wool-Stone Gnome really say: 'Some people are on the pitch, they think it's
  all over...it is now'
  ?  Yes but he was actually Kenneth Wolstenholme.
• 'Peru score their third, and it's
  3-1 to Scotland. '
  David Coleman, BBC, 1978 World Cup finals.
• 'And in the other group match, Uruguay and Spain drew love-all'
  - Female announcer.
• 'Apart from their goals, Norway haven't
  scored'
  - Terry Venables
• 'Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball'
  - Ian St John
• 'If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't
  swim'
  - Berti Vogts, Germany coach.

Supporters of World Cup 2014