Ricky, Tony, and Leroy were out riding their bikes in downtown Chicago when a
fire engine zoomed past with blaring sirens.The three boys spotted an Alsatian dog on the front seat of the fire engine.Ricky commented, "They use that dog to control sightseers.""No," said Tony, "he's just for good luck."But Leroy knew better, "No, that's not it," he said. "The dog is there to
point the firemen to the nearest fire hydrant!"
Will and Guy's Collection of Funny Quips, Bon Mots and Wit
Our friend Eddie has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, Eddie
takes something for it.
I stayed up all night playing Texas Hold'em with a deck of tarot
cards. I got a royal flush and five people died.
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
I spilled 'Spot' remover on my dog. Now he's disappeared.
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool like Jackson.
Don't wish ill for your enemy, plan it.
Guy just got lost in thought. He found it unfamiliar
Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best.The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance.The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength ...
None in the forest dared to challenge him.The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature.As the trio
debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all ... hawk, lion and stinker. See more silly puns
Onomatopoeia is figure of speech where the word sounds like the thing that it is
describing. For example, 'Miaow' 'moo', or 'slosh'. Here are
examples from advertising.
'Snap crackle pop.'
use this onomatopoeia in their Rice Krispies adverts.
'Plink, plink, fizz, fizz'.
Alka Seltzer, UK
See more wise words, witticisms and quotes
Funny words of wisdom •
Wise words •
Funny thoughts to ponder •
A funny word•
Witty funny quotes •
Famous people sayings •
Wisdom sayings •
Perks for over 60s•
Meaning of words •
Funny thought of the day •
Rules of life •
Funny put downs