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There’s
a story set just after the second world war at Portsmouth dockyard.
One day Ministry of Defence policeman [Mod plod] stopped a worker who was walking out of the dockyard gates pushing a
wheelbarrow with a suspicious looking package in it. The Mod plod opened the package and found it contained nothing but some old bits of rubbish, sawdust and floor-sweepings.
The next day he stopped the same
worker who was again pushing a wheelbarrow containing a suspicious looking package. Once more it contained nothing of any value.
The same thing happened several days on the trot, until the policeman finally
said, ‘OK, I give up. I know you are up to something, but I just can’t
tell what. Please, I promise not to arrest you, but put me out of my misery; tell me what you are stealing.’
‘Wheelbarrows, ‘smiled the
worker, ‘I’m stealing wheelbarrows.’
Guy’s
Story about a real life Michelin Man
Funny how one story reminds you of
another. I had a job computer training at one of Ford’s
factories. Theft was a continual problem. 
At the end of one day old Fred passed the security booth, gave a cheery wave, then fell over
in an apoplectic fit. Worried, the security guard rushed over to the stricken man and tried to give him heart massage. Perplexed, the guard could not get anywhere near Fred’s
heart because ten inner
tubes were restricting access. Fred was stealing the tubes by wearing them around his trunk. A quick and delicate job with his Suisse army knife soon had Fred breathing normally. In no time
Fred was on his feet and having a quiet word with the factory manager about inner tubes shortages.