Funny Thanksgiving Trivia, Jokes and Riddles

Here is our collection of amusing snippets and facts about this November
celebration.

• Funny Thanksgiving Trivia
• Thanksgiving Riddles
• Funny Turkey
  Weather Report
• Strange But True
  Thanksgiving Tale
• Unusual Thanksgiving Present
  
• Thanksgiving Alphabet
• Funny
  Thanksgiving Quotes
• Thanksgiving poem

Funny Thanksgiving Riddles

• Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?  They couldn’t
  get the moose in the oven!
• Where did the first corn come from?  The stalk brought it.
• Why
  did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?  To keep his wigwam.
• What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?  He had an arrow escape.
• How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?  It
  hugged the shore.
• Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?  The outside.
• Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?  Yes – a building can’t jump at all.

Funny Thanksgiving Trivia

• In 2013 it is reckoned that nearly 320 million turkeys have been
  reared for Thanksgiving celebrations.  In the UK approximately 13 million
  turkeys are reared for Christmas Day.
• There appear to be three places in the USA named after this traditional meal: Turkey in Texas
  [population 491]; Turkey Creek, Louisiana [population 364]; and Turkey, North Carolina [population 267]. Three towns in Kansas also have the name Turkey. Do you know of any others?
  
• Following this discovery
  we have found that there are a number of places named Cranberry – perhaps after the sauce often eaten with turkey. The biggest appears to be Cranberry in Butler County, Pennsylvania with 28,000 inhabitants.
• Plymouth Rock, where the Pilgrim Father’s landed, is celebrated by 28 sites in the US.
  Of course, England have the original Plymouth in Devon city, and this is
  where the Pilgrims set sail. Minnesota and
  Massachusetts have the biggest conurbations of Plymouth
• There is Pilgrim in Dade County, Missouri with a population of some 133 good folk.

Funny Thanksgiving Trivia – Turkey Weather Report

Here is Will and Guy’s climate report for Thanksgiving Day in general,
and for turkeys in particular.

Early Morning Thanksgiving Day
The temperature of turkeys will gradually rise throughout Thanksgiving
day.  However, at dawn when the birds stare at the frost in their
chiller compartment, the ambient temperature may only be 10°F.

By 10 o’clock the turkeys will start to thaw as they see the light of day.
At about 11 o’clock a warm Chinook wind from the fan oven will raise their
temperature rapidly to 200°F.

Mid-day Heat
By 12 o’clock the cook’s temperature may
well reach fever levels.  Furthermore, you may also notice an increase
in humidity especially in the kitchen.  In these turbulent conditions,
Moms may
be surrounded by an area of high wind-chill, the result maybe a cold shoulder
for you.   Beware, pestering one’s mother too much may lead to a tornado in the
kitchen.

Afternoon Forecast
By about 2:30 pm the warm weather
condition will have stabilized, and as a result the turkey
will have tanned nicely.  Now a steel carving knife will cut across the
bird’s flanks, and
slices of turkey will descend on the guests’ plates.

A precipitation of cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes will make the
plates slippery.  You may also experience a gentle drizzle from the
gravy boat.  This should also be accompanied by a heavy fall of a
lighter liquid into your wine glass.

Evening Rumble of Thunder
Pressure may increase
drastically around the waist band, consequently, storm warnings have been
issued about indigestion.  The evening will see the turkey diminishing to
leftovers that can then be distributed to all the guests.  As the day
draws to a close you may experience turbulent conditions in the stomach.
Good news, the outlook is that the rumble of thunder in the
intestine will pass by the weekend.

Footnote:
See more
funny weather reports.

Turkey Shoot!

Apparently there are more turkeys in Missouri than in Texas.  As a Welshman, when I read that the state of Missouri allows hunters to bag two birds in the month of October, I had no idea what was
going on in these Missouri woods, so I did a little research.  The first thing that struck me was that if a permit costs $13 then you better make sure that you hit a turkey!  Then I read about hunting
gear, and realized that this was not about cost, or even about eating turkey, it was
all about good old fashioned hunting.

The people who impressed me the most were the group who hunted turkey with bows and arrows
– now that seemed like a fair contest!

Will and Guy’s
Top Ten Thanksgiving Trivia Additions

1. The first Thanksgiving celebration in 1621 lasted for three days, it
   included not only food, but also games.  Furthermore, the Pilgrims
   gave thanks for the bountiful harvest with the Wampanoag Indians.
2. Pulling the “wishbone” is an ageless tradition at Thanksgiving (and
   Christmas).  Two people pull the turkey’s breastbone apart, only
   the person who has the larger piece of bone is allowed to make a wish.
3. A full-grown turkey has over 3,000 feathers.  Guy’s aunty once
   counted them!
4. Firkee is the Native American name for this tasty bird.  Firkee
   sounds a bit like turkey.
5. When a Tom turkey [male turkey] gobbles, it can be heard from as far
   away as a mile.  In fact, only the Tom turkeys gobble, female
   turkeys make a clucking or clicking sound.
6. Puritans from the Mayflower used to drink beer.  This was
   probably weak ‘boy’s beer’ and safer to drink than transporting water on
   a ship.
7. Thanksgiving Day is celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November in
   the United States.
   Thanksgiving Day is celebrated on the
   second Monday in October in Canada.
8. Benjamin Franklin, proposed that the turkey should become the
   official bird of the United States.  Turkeys now look jealously at
   the protected rights given to the Bald Eagle when they won the Official
   USA Bird status.
9. 87% of Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving according to the
   National Turkey Federation.  During a year the average American
   eats 17 pounds of turkey, that’s the weight of a decent sized bird.
10. Sorry to burst the bubble, but the Pilgrims on the first
    thanksgiving ate deer and not turkey.

More Funny Thanksgiving Trivia

Unusual Thanksgiving Present

On the morning of Thanksgiving in 2007 at about 1am a husband received a most
unusual Thanksgiving present from his wife: a potato. Yes, the 43 year old wife
presented it to him by throwing it in his face, striking him on the nose and
rendering him unconscious. When Police arrived they listened to the explanation.

The couple, in Nicholson, Georgia, USA, had been drinking and they began to
argue in their kitchen. When the man called the woman a rude named she reached
for the first object that came to hand – a potato and flung it at him. When he
regained consciousness the husband did told the police that he would not press
charges – thankfully.

Strange But
True Thanksgiving Tale

This true story involves a tin of gravy bought for the Thanksgiving Day
dinner but was used for a completely different purpose in 2007.

A man who was dropping his mother off parked his vehicle in front of the
entrance to the nursing home where she resided. At exactly the same time
another man was returning his relative by car. Finding that the entrance to the
home was blocked, the second man began an argument with the first and eventually
threw a can of gravy hitting the first man on the head.  Fortunately, no one was
hurt and police from West Valley City, Utah, USA, later said that there would be
no charges brought.

Police were unable to confirm to Will or Guy the flavour of
the gravy.

Thanksgiving Alphabet

T … Turkeys, table-spreads, being together,
H … Happiness and homes to protect us from all weather,
A … Aunts and uncles, a reunion in Fall,
N … Nieces and nephews, family members all.
K
… Kind-hearted kin coming over for dinner,
S … Surely you’ll have fun, but you won’t get thinner,

G … Gourds and pumpkins, mouths open wide,
I … Indians and Pilgrims we remember with pride,
V … Very special times-there could even be snow,
I … Imagine what it was like at Plymouth long ago,
N … Never forget how the settlers led the way,
G … Giving thanks and blessing this special day.

Thanksgiving Miracle

Bradley Priebe is a miracle child claims his mother, Anna, as she offered up
her own Thanksgiving prayers. While celebrating Thanksgiving Day in Brooklyn,
USA, in a third floor apartment the 14 month old baby fell from an open window
some 20 feet onto a music shop roof below. Bradley not only survived, he didn’t
even break a bone. His father Brandon told police that his son wasn’t seriously
injured in the fall. The local hospital released the child after a period of
observation.

Thanksgiving Quotes For You to Consider and Enjoy:

• Estonian Proverb: Who does not thank for little, will not thank for much.
• Meister Eckhart: If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is ‘thank you’, that would suffice.
• Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. says:
  We will speed the day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing… Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty,
  I’m free at last.
• Erma Bombeck: No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they
  call it Thanksgiving?
• George Carlin: We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.
• Johnny Carson: Thanksgiving is
  an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
• Gerald Good: If you want to turn your life around, try
  thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.
• Henri J. M. Nouwen: Gratitude goes beyond the ‘mine’ and ‘thine’ and claims the truth that all of life is a pure gift.
• Rita Rudner: My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
• Charles Lamb: Gluttony and surfeiting are no proper
  occasions for thanksgiving.
• See more funny
  Thanksgiving quotes.

Thanksgiving Poem:

The year has turned its circle,
The seasons come and go.

The harvest all is gathered in
And chilly north winds blow.
Orchards have shared their treasures,
The fields, their yellow grain,
So open wide the doorway,
Thanksgiving comes again.

   [Author: *Unknown]

Footnote:
Please send us your
funny Thanksgiving trivia.