Funny Thanksgiving Jokes and Short Stories
- Spot the Big Turkey
- Hanging the Turkey
- The man who forgot to buy a turkey
- The Turkey, the Parrot and the In-laws
- A Piece of Pumpkin Pie
- Thanksgiving Jokes from the School Room
- Turkey Tight End?
- Macy's Balloon Parade in New York
The Secret of Stuffing a Turkey How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey? Only one, but you REALLY have to squeeze to get him in.Grave Humor What did the hen tell the naughty chicks? If you your father could see you now he would turn in his gravy.
Funny Thanksgiving Jokes from the School RoomGratitude In the week before Thanksgiving Mary-Jo asked her class of 9 year-olds to write a paragraph entitled: 'What I am most thankful for on Thanksgiving Day'.All Joey could write was: 'I am thankful that I'm not a turkey at Thanksgiving.'Crossing I Mary-Jo (Teacher): Why did the turkey cross the road? Joey: It was the chicken's day off.Crossing II Mary-Jo: 'Why do you think that the Pilgrims sail from England to America?' Joey: 'Because they missed their plane.'Crossing III Mary-Jo: 'What did the farmer get when he crossed a centipede with a turkey?' Joey: '100 drumsticks.'
Be PreparedGrandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card that they had received and she commented, 'The Pilgrim children enjoyed going to church with their mothers and fathers and praying to God.'Her youngest grandson looked at her doubtfully and asked, 'Then why is their Dad carrying that rifle?'
Thanksgiving DivorceEddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorcing. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.'
Indians and the PilgrimsNathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?''That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan', replied his daddy as he ducked.See more Thanksgiving stories
Sunny days ahead April showers bring May flowers. And the May flower brings ....... Pilgrims!Buckle down? Why did the pilgrim's pants fall down? Because he had his buckle in his hat.
- Asked to write a composition entitled, 'What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,' one student wrote, 'I am thankful that I'm not a turkey.'
- Michael Dresser in his wine column, "Vintage Point", writing about the difficulty of recommending wine for Thanksgiving dinner writes:'Thanksgiving is America's national feast - the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. In France, by contrast there are three such days: Hier, Aujourd'hui and Demain. [Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow]
- When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary.
- If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
- What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy.