Will and Guy publish our favourite Sardar
or Sadar-Ji jokes to entertain. We seek to honour and to publicise Sikh
humour, we do not mean to show any
disrespect to the Sikh communities throughout the world.
Sardar Studies Holy Holidays
these men have in common: Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji and Jesus?
All are born on government holidays.
Introduction to Jokes a Sardar Would Tell
Sardar, is a Persian word which tends to be used for military or
political leaders because the roots of the word mean commander, perhaps
comparable to the English word, chieftain. In Pakistan, for example, the
leaders of certain tribes have the title Sardar. [Balochi, Kashmiri, Pashtun,
Punjabi, Seraiki, Sindhi].
However, in India the word often refers to a male follower of the Sikh
faith; sometimes the word - Ji, is added and this denotes respect.
Sometimes, in India, the Punjabi and Hindi: Sardar, is used derogatorily and
he is considered as an "idiot" and the butt of many jokes perhaps rather in
the same way as "blondes".
As can be seen elsewhere on our site Will and Guy deplore any form of
racism, but we do understand the place of stereotypes in society. On this
occasion we feel the same about Sardar humour. We see it rather like the
attitude of say the Americans towards the Canadians; the English towards the
Irish or the Scots. The Welsh towards the English. Elsewhere we find that "Poms"
[British people] are the butt of Australian jokes. Belgians fall foul of the
French; while The German deprecate the Dutch in their humour.
Will and Guy's Ten Best Sardar Jokes
Postman: I have had to walk 5 miles
to deliver this packet.
Aneel: Why did walk so far? You could have posted it.
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone in his Phone Book and
told them: "My mobile number has changed, earlier it was Nokia 3310, now
it is 6710"
Jasbir visits an art gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your
pardon sir, that is a mirror.
Santa: I am a most proud Sardar, My son is in
Banta: Really, what is he
studying?Santa: No is not studying, they
are studying him.
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important
space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked
everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of
the launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket made all sorts of
noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers
were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.Finally,
Manjit, a Sardar offered to help. The NASA scientists were desperate by
that time and agreed to do anything.'Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to
the right,' said Manjit in a serious voice. The engineers were puzzled
but did it anyway.
'Bring it back to vertical position, the
Manjit added. The engineers did.
'Now start the engines,'
instructed Manjit. The rocket took off and flew into space. Everybody
thanked and congratulated Manjit and asked him how he knew what to do.
He replied, 'It is very simple. This is what we always do with our
Bajaj scooters in India.'
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope which was
hanging from a from an aeroplane. Ten were Sardar, and one was a girl.
They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't,
then the rope would break and everyone would die.No one could
decide who should go, so finally the girl said, 'I'll get off,' and she
made a really moving speech.All of the Sardars started
Devindar went into The Bank of India and asked to open
a current account. The cashier was surprised when Devindar left the
building saying he would return after he had been to Delhi.
asked why he was visiting Delhi, he retorted that the application form
said: 'Got be filled in CAPITAL.'
Santa was filling up application form for a job. He
was not sure as to what to put in the column "Salary Expected".
much thought he wrote : Yes, please.
Sadhu : I haven't slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?Sadhu: I had an upper berth.
Friend: Why didn't you
Sadhu: There was nobody in the lower bunk to change it
How Can You Be Sure Someone Is A Sardar?
Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
Tries to drown a fish in water.
Trips over a cordless phone.
Thinks socialism means partying.
Studies for a blood test and fails.
Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
Puts lipstick on his forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
At the bottom of the application form where it says: "Sign Here", he
Sells the car for gas money.
Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he
turns around and goes home.
Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.
Funny Jokes a Sardar Tells - Kindly sent in by Charu Murali
Two Sardarjis are looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Look, so many bandages! Must be a pukka (real) lorry accident case.
Sardar 2: Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!
Two Sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What
would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing?
Sardar 2: Don't
worry, I have one more.
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name,
but it starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with
Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've
Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have
lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man.
He has lost his head... Is he crying?
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's
Tourist: And the smaller skeleton next to it?
That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
It's already raining!
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go!
More Clean Funny
Sardar-Ji Jokes in English
Sardar Out Shopping
Gatnam went to the sale at electrical shop and he found a bargain. 'I
would like to buy this small TV,' he told the salesman.
'Sorry, we don't
sell to Sardars,' he replied.
So Gatnam hurried home, removed his turban, and changed his hair style
and returned to repeat to the salesman, 'I would like to buy this TV.'
'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied for a second
'Damn! Gatnam exploded, 'he recognized me.'
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
different clothes, big sunglasses and he waited a few days until he saw the
'I would like to buy this TV.'
'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied.
Angry now and
frustrated, Gatnam shouted, 'How do you know I'm a Sardar?'
that's a microwave,' he replied.
Sardar Exam Student
Sardar Premdeep Singh is sitting his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and
throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away
as well. His shirt, pants, socks and watch follow suit.
alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
'Oye, I am only following the instructions,' Premdeep replies, 'it says
here, "Answer the following questions in brief."'
Testing for Diabetes
Rasdeep goes into the kitchen and opens the cookie
jar. He looks inside and closes it. His wife observes the whole
episode and says nothing. Again Rasdeep enters the kitchen and does the
His wife asks, Rasdeep, why are you doing that?'
Rasdeep replies, 'The Doctor told to check my sugar level regularly.'
Sardar at the Movies
A Sardar said that he saw a movie 100 times. Reason:- There was a scene
in the movie wherein a lady on the banks of a river is about to disrobe.
Then suddenly a train passes by and the view is obscured. The Sardar saw the
movie 100 times expecting the train to come late some day. [Kindly
sent in by Vishwanath Sharma]
Having lost his donkey Sardarji Uddam got down to his knees and
started thanking God. A passerby sees him and asks, So, your donkey is missing, what are you
thanking God for?'
Uddam replies, 'I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding
the donkey at that time, otherwise I, too, would have been missing.'
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word
My father grows beans, said Anil.
My father cooks beans, said Ranjit.
Then a little Sardarji, Narinder, spoke up, 'We are all human
Near Death Experience
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for
his friend Banta.
As Banta Singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew
worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
Banta Singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used
his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.
Banta Singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he
slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta
Singh was visiting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same
jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died.
'You know,' he said, 'Santa handed me a note just before he died. I
haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration
there for us all.'
He unfolded the note and read aloud, 'Hey, you're standing on my oxygen
A Sardari street trader was invited onto
His specialist subject was: Anoraks, 14.99 to 19.95.
Kindly sent in by Nick Mountford.
Another good site for clean
funny Sardar Jokes in English
Sardars Love Their Cricket
Cricket is the sport that Indian's are most passionate about as its
probably the only sport, in India, where the national team does well from
time-to-time. The Indian cricket team is worshipped when it wins, but when it loses
it's time to tell jokes.
Will and Guy have selected their team of 11 favourites for you to enjoy. Let it
be known that all these jokes, could be used about Australian, English, or
cricket. All you would need to do in our opinion is substitute the
names Warne, Flintoff or Boycott as appropriate.
What does Harbajan Singh put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket? A bat.
Where do Indian Batsman perform there best? In adverts.
When would Saurav Ganguly have 100 runs against his name? When
he is bowling.
What do you call an Indian player with 60 runs against his
name? A bowler
What would Ben Hilfenhaus be if he was an Indian? An
What is the difference between an Indian batsman and an
Australian one? 100 runs.
What is the Indian definition of optimism? Yuvraj Singh applying
sunscreen on his face before he comes in to bat.
The wicket-keeper had a high opinion of himself and was
very free with his advice to the captain.'You know,' he said, 'You've picked two men who should never be in
'Oh really,' said the captain
icily, 'and who's the other one?'
What is the Indian version of a hat-trick? 3 runs in 3 balls
Suresh Shastri asked: 'I've never umpired a game before,
do I run after the ball?' No, run after the match!
How should the Indian coach reshuffle the Indian batting order?
Move "Extras" up the order.
Phone Call for Sehwag
Indian Team Manager: Hello
Wife: Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife.
Indian Team Manager: Sorry, he is just going to bat.
Wife: No problem, Manager, I'll hold on.
Dear sir, with reference to your above see my below - popular opening
line in official letters.
Teachress - a female teacher.
Timepass - a trivial activity that passes the time.
She freaked out last night - she had a good time.
Your lyrical missive has enveloped me in the sweet fragrance of our
love - from a book advising lovers on how to write to girlfriends.
Premesh Patel has left for his heavenly above - a death notice.
Hue and Cry notice - title of police missing person newspaper
Don't do nuisance in public - government admonition against
urinating in public.
See more Inglish Jokes
A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama
yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of
him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and
regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy
cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the
immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of
life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy
to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child
welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody of the boy to the
Indian Cricket Team, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating
Another Tranche of Clean Funny Sardar Jokes
Will and Guy continue our search for the best jokes Sardar (or should it be Sadar).
We do not mean to show any
disrespect to the Sikh communities based in India or anywhere else in the world.
In fact, we have discovered that many of funniest Sadarji jokes originate
not from Anglo Saxons, but from the Sikhs themselves.
Vishwanath Sharma reminds us that Sardars are a very intelligent lot.
This is the only community in US which is permitted to sport a beard in the
Armed forces and Police force of US.
Top 10 Books on Cricket - Each a Suitable Christmas Present for a Sardar-Ji
Foolproof Fielding - Saurav Ganguly
Evils of Gambling - Shane Warne and Mark Waugh
Diplomacy - Umpire Darrell Hair
Books from Geoffrey Boycott - Playing For Your Team; French
The Catcher In The Deep - Venkatesh Prasad
A Tale Of Two Runs - Anil Kumble, Ajit Agarkar, Javagal Srinath and
Every Which Way But The Stumps - Indian fielders
Cheery Press Conferences I have known - Mohammed Azharuddin
Big Hitting - Rahul Dravid
Facing Fast Bowlers - Ajay Jadeja
A Clean Indian Cricket Story
After the shameful exit of Indian cricket team in the T20 WC Super 8
stage, the Indian team members were not able to show their faces to people
openly and they chose rather just to pack up in hotel rooms in Mumbai.
Dhoni could not resist for too long to be in Mumbai and still not be able
to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a
goes out. He meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him, 'Hi Dhoni.'
Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes himself up as a
Muslim woman - in burkha and goes out. Yet same again, the same woman greets
him, 'Hi Dhoni.'
Dhoni comes back determined to give it yet another try with the makeup of
a Hippie wig and shorts. All in vain - the same lady catches him again and
greets him, 'Hi Dhoni.'
Bewildered by now, he could not help asking, 'How do you keep recognizing
The lady replied, 'I am Yuvraj the Bhangra Machine.'
Funny Santa Banta Jokes
Santa and Banta are often two Sardarji's who are good friends. Most of
time each of them tries to outsmart the other and this creates humour. Most
of their conversations are funny and are called Santa Banta jokes.
Santa Buys Curtains
Santa enters a shop that sell curtains. He announces to Gurdaya, the
salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of green curtains.'
The salesman assures him that they had a large selection of green
curtains. Gurdaya shows him several patterns, but Santa seems to be having a
hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a smashing green floral print. The salesman asked
what size curtains he requires.
Santa replies, 'Fifteen inches.'
'Fifteen inches? ' explodes Gurdaya. 'That sounds a very small amount,
what room are they for?'
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer
Gurdaya, an extremely surprised salesman replies, 'But, sir, computers do
not have curtains!" '
Santa says, 'Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows.'
Santa Buys A Hearing Aid
Santa, hard of hearing, realises that he needs to buy a hearing aid, but
he feels unwilling to spend too much money.
'How much do they cost?' he asks Manbir, the shopkeeper.
'That depends,' says. Manbir, 'They run from £20 to £2,000.'
'Let's see the £20 model,' asks Santa.
Manbir puts the device around Santa's neck instructing, 'You just stick
this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket.'
'How does it work?' Santa inquires.
'For only £20 it doesn't work," Manbir replies, 'But when people see it
on you, they'll talk louder!'
Santa Has A Funny Dream
Santa kept having the same strange dream every night, so he made an
appointment to see a doctor.
Doctor Ajaib: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor Ajaib: [smiling to himself] So... what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor Ajaib: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing
happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing
the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor Ajaib: Does the door have anything written on it?
Santa: Yes it
Doctor: And what do these letters say?
Santa: It says, "Pull."
Santa and The Lottery Ticket
Banta finds himself in considerable trouble. His business has gone bust
and he has serious financial concerns. He's so desperate that he decides to
ask God for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray:
please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm
going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto.'
Lotto night arrives and somebody else wins it.
Banta goes back to the temple, 'God, please let me win the lotto, I've
lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple he
'God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house,
my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help
and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win
the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?'
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the
Banta is confronted by the voice of the Lord, 'OYE BANTA, YOU HAVE TO BUY
THE TICKET FIRST.'
Santa And the Clock
Santa is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when
someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Santa says
'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.' The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Santa figures
he has been made a fool by that man.
On the next day Santa is again walking along the same street and the same
man asks him to buy the clock. 'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a
Santa gives him the thousand and says, 'Oye, I am not a fool. This time,
you wait and I'll go get a ladder.'
Santa Visits A Bar
Santa goes into a bar in New York.
The man on his right orders a drink, 'Johnnie Walker, single.'
The man on his left says, 'Jack Daniels, single.'
Santa says. 'Santa Singh, married.'
Santa Goes To School
Santa returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his
father, 'Dad, today we had a spelling class. All the other kids could only
say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am a
'No son, that's because you are intelligent.'
Santa seemed content with the answer, asks his father another question,
'Dad, today we had Maths class. All the other kids could only count from
1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am a Sardar ?'
son, that's because you are intelligent,' replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Santa poses another question to his father, 'Dad,
today we had medical examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I
was at least twice their height. Is that because I am a Sardar ?'
father replies, 'No son, that's because you are 33 years old.'
See About Indian
Santa And the Wedding
Santa and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their son at the
Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to help her.
After the printer had presented her with a draft, she quickly pointed out
that the "RSVP " was missing .
The printer was surprised by Jeeto's knowledge and asked her if she knew
what it meant.
Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied, 'Vait! I
remember. I remember. RSVP. It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present." '
See more Santa Banta
Reminder of the Origins of the Word
Sardar is a Persian word for a tribal leader or chieftain (Sar meaning
leader, dar meaning possessor). This derivation is also spelt Sirdar
and sometimes has -Ji appended, which confers respect when addressing the
leader. In the nineteenth centaury the military connotation became
well established, indeed the commander of the Anglo-Egyptian army had the
In more modern times Sikh men would call themselves Sardar as Englishmen
called themselves Mister, for example, Sardar Bhagat Singh.
There is also a small town called Sardar, but it's in Afghanistan and not in
India or Pakistan.
Please send us your clean, funny
jokes in English.
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