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Round like a shot… Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things. I phoned the police but was told there was no one in the area to help. The policeman said they would send someone
over as soon as possible. I hung up.

A minute later I rang again.’
Hello, ‘I said, ‘I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don’t
have to hurry now, because I’ve shot them.’
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: ‘I thought you said you’
d shot
them.’
To which I replied: ‘I thought you said there was no one available.’

Article by Tony Gladstone

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in ‘
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Stolen
Painting Found by Tree

Perfect Woman Competition in New Zealand

The owner of a bar in Wanaka is holding a competition to find the ‘
perfect woman’
, the prize is $NZ1,000 and tickets for a rugby game.

Amongst the tasks the aspirants will be expected to undertake
are:

  • back a trailer load of hay
  • change a car tyre
  • clear a pool table
  • darn a sock
  • lift a ram into shearing position

As reported in the ‘
Sun’
in Australia