There aren't many jokes in the Bible. Thus it may be unrealistic to
expect Muslim prophets past and present to come out cracking jokes from the
Koran. On the other hand all societies appreciate humour and use word
play in story telling. Furthermore, our initial research reveals that
Islamic tales often employ parables and gentle teasing to make their point.
Thus the biggest error a westernised city-slicker could make was mistaking
respect for religion and people for a lack of sense of humour. If you
dig deeper then you find that Muslims like to laugh and smile at their stories.
Their jokes are never crude, but they make a point, and usually have a moral.
One of the golden rules of Muslim humour is that you must still tell the
truth. This clearly restricts opportunities for humour, but means that
the story teller must be more ingenious.
Apart from linguistic translation, it maybe that some of their stories were
funny at a particular time and place, but lose something when transported
down the ages, and retold from a mosque in Mecca to a bar in the Bronx.
Meanwhile, what is happening to humour in the 'West'? Jokes involving -isms are no longer
acceptable. Our generation has to desist from telling sexist and
racist jokes. Will and Guy never did like this particular type of
humour, but we just learned how to duck and dive, without issuing a Fatwa to
the people who told such jokes.
Perhaps it's not unrealistic to expect in a generation or two at least a few
cultures will reach the Muslim situation where it's just completely
unacceptable to tell certain types of jokes.
One story from the book of hadith reports how the Prophet Mohammed joked
with a boy called Abu 'Umayr, who was playing with a small sparrow.
One day the Prophet saw the child looking sad, so asked said, "Why do I see
Abu 'Umayr looking sad?" One of the villagers told him, "The nughar (sparrow) which he used to play with has died. Whereupon the
Prophet began to gently joke with the child to bring him out of his
melancholy, saying, "O Abu Umayr, what happened to the nughayr?"
In Arabic, this is a play on words, because of the rhyme between the boy's
name, Abu 'Umayr and that of the bird, Nughayr being the diminutive of
The Eid Sermon
Once, it is said the people of Islamabad invited Mulla Abdul-Razzaq to
deliver a speech at Eid. When he got on the pulpit [Minbar], he found the
audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked, 'Do you know what I am
going to say?'
The audience replied 'No', so he announced, 'I have no desire to speak to
people who don't even know what I will be talking about,' and he left.
The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This
time when he asked the same question, the people replied 'Yes', So Abdul-Razzaq
said, 'Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste
any more of your time', and he left.
Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more
time and once again invited the Mulla to speakon the 3rd day of Eid. Once
again he asked the same question, 'Do you know what I am going to say?' Now
the people were prepared and so half of them answered 'Yes', while the other
half replied 'No'.
So Mulla Abdul-Razzaq said, 'The half who know what I am going to say,
tell it to the other half', and he left!
A French Moslem was on holiday in Jordan. Although it was
Ramadan he could not resist exploring the desert to the east of Aquaba. At sunset he reached Wadi Rum and fell into easy
conversation with a Bedouin tribesman, who was hobbling his camels.
'How big is your spread?', asked the Frenchman. 'Well it's grown to about
10 hectares', said the tribesman. 'Only 10 hectares', the Frenchman
responded, 'back in the Dordogne, France I can get up at sunrise, saddle my
horse and ride all day, when I return at supper time, I'll be lucky to cover
half my farm'.
'That's terrible', said the Bedouin, 'I once had camel like that, but
sent him to cooking pot.'
A funny thing about humour, how one camel
joke can remind you of another.
Muslim Mother-in-law Joke
Tariq was travelling down a path in Bahawalpur, Pakistan when he saw a
large group of people outside a house.
It was in the middle of the day during Ramadan, so he stopped and asked
Asif why such a large crowd of men was gathered there at this time.
Asif replied, 'Saleem's camel kicked his mother-in-law and she died.'
'Well,' replied the man, 'She must have had a lot of friends.'
'Nope,' said Asif.' We all just want to buy his camel.'
More Islam Humour
One day during Ramadan, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree.
After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on
vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.
just can't understand the ways of God!' he mused. 'Just fancy letting tinny
walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!'
Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald
head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in
supplication, said, 'Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are
all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!'
A man is taking a walk in Laleh Park in Tehran during Ramadan.
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a feral dog. He runs
over and starts fighting with the dog. Eventually, he succeeds in
killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
An Iranian policeman was watching the scene unfold and walks over and
says, 'You are a hero, tomorrow you can read all about it in the newspapers,
'Brave Tehrani saves the life of little girl'.
The man says, 'But I am not a native of Tehran!'
'Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning, "Brave Iranian saves
life of little girl",' the policeman answers.
'But I am not an Iranian!' says the man.
'Oh, where are you from then?'
'The man says: - 'I am a Syrian!'
The next day the newspaper headline says, 'Islamic extremist kills
innocent Iraqi dog.'
See our Eid ul-Fitr jokes.
Our site is largely about humour, thus we seek to understand Muslim and
Islamic humour. Ideally we would like to incorporate tasteful, clean
Islamic jokes just as we do for the Christian faith. However, it is
true to say that finding funny Muslim humour is a bigger challenge than we
Female Muslim comic and Guardian and New Statesman journalist, Shazia
Mirza, who is a British Pakistani, believes her act is helping break down
cultural barriers and overcome ignorance, has found her work in great demand
in Britain, Pakistan and the USA.
While she does not poke fun at her religion, Mirza does tell jokes about
her culture and current events. For example when questioned she has
responded, 'I always have men come up to me afterwards and ask me questions
and say: "Is it true that [Muslim] women have to walk steps behind their
husband, is that true?" I say "Yes, they look better from behind".'
Perhaps daringly and somewhat bravely, say Will and Guy, Shazia, during
her first appearance since the 9/11 attacks on the United States, she rather
nervously introduced herself to the audience. 'I'm Shazia Mirza,' she said.
'At least that's what it says on my pilot's licence.'
Mirza performs wearing a head scarf and describes herself as a devout
Muslim, but is keen to dispel any preconceptions that "all Muslim women are
oppressed, all Asian women have arranged marriages and women are not funny".
Born and bred in Birmingham, England, she confessed she had always been
known for her sense of humour.
The Metropolitan Police in London, England, has accepted Hijab as a
uniform option for Muslim women serving in the force. The announcement was
made at a conference on the theme of "Protect and Respect: Everybody's
Benefit". The move is seen as a further sign of official acceptance of
Britain as a religiously diverse society where faith-related accommodations
should be made for all individuals.
The Muslim media in Britain had argued for accepting Hijab as a uniform
option just as the turban was accepted as a part of the uniform for Sikh
policemen. Sikh motorcyclists are also allowed to wear a turban in place of
a crash helmet. Muslim policewomen will now be allowed to wear headscarf and
the ankle length gown. Muslim police officers will now be allowed to pray on
duty, demand halal food and have altered meal schedules during Ramadan.
In the above picture two models Shahnaz Shashudin and Syria Hussain are
modelling hijab uniform for women police constables in front of New Scotland
Yard, the headquarters of the London Metropolitan Police.
Ramadan [Arabic: رمضان ] is the ninth month of the Islamic
calendar. It is the Islamic month of fasting, in which participating
Muslims refrain from eating, drinking and sexual activities from dawn until
sunset. In 2010 Ramadan begins on Wednesday, the 11th of
August and Ramadan ends 30 days later on Thursday, the 9th of September.
Fasting teaches the Muslim patience, modesty and spirituality.
Ramadan is a time for Muslims to fast for the sake of God [Arabic: الله,
translation: Allah] and to offer more prayer than usual. During Ramadan,
Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in
refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through
self-restraint and good deeds
Punishments For Those
Greetings During Ramadan
Please send us your Ramadan humour.
See examples of international jokes, humour and funny pictures ....