Here is Will and Guy's collection of lunatic stories, funny pictures
and moon myths.
Murphy and Declan were walking home from the pub. Murphy says to
Declan, 'What a beautiful evening, look at the moon.'
Declan stops and looks at Murphy, 'You are wrong, that's
not the moon, that's
Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a real drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him.
could you please help settle our argument?
Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's
shining. Is it the moon or the sun?' The drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them, and said,
'Sorry, I don't
live around here.'
Funny how one joke reminds you of another.
- After the Americans went to the Moon, Murphy and Declan announced
that the Kerry Men would go one better and send a man to the Sun.Murphy objected. 'If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!'
'What do you think we are, stupid?' Declan replied. 'We'll send our
man at night!'
- Murphy and Declan have just opened a new restaurant on the moon.
It serves great cheese dishes, but the atmosphere is terrible!
- How can you tell when the moon is going broke?
You can see that
the moon is down to its last quarter.
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat played the fiddle,
The cow jumped over
The little dog laughed to see such sport,
And the dish ran
away with the Spoon
- Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the
truth. - Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism,
- I don't know if there are men on the moon, but if there are they
must be using the earth as their lunatic asylum - George Bernard Shaw
- See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the
stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...we need silence
to be able to touch souls. - Mother Theresa
- Man is now able to soar into outer space and reach up to the moon;
but he is not moral enough to live at peace with his neighbour! - Sri
Sathya Sai Baba
- Reach for the moon, because if you don't make it you'll land among
the stars. - William Cullen Bryant
Another Moon Joke
Mick and Seamus staggered out of a bar in Limerick (it really happened).
They sat on a bench to get their bearings.
Seamus, in philosophical mood, said to Mick, 'which do you think is
farther away Dublin or the moon?'
Mike thinks for a full minute and says, 'It must be Dublin. I can
see the moon up there, but I've looked around and I cannot see Dublin
Ten Fun Facts and Moon Trivia
- The moon is not a planet, but a satellite of the Earth.
- The surface area of the moon is 14,658,000 square miles or 9.4
- Only 59% of the moon's surface is visible from earth.
- The moon rotates at 10 miles per hour compared to the earth's
rotation of 1000 miles per hour.
- When a month has two full moons, the second full moon is called a
blue moon. Another definition of a blue moon is the third full moon in
any season (quarter of year) containing 4 total full moons.
- From Earth, we always see the same side of the moon; the other side
is always hidden.
- The dark spots we see on the moon that create the image of the man
in the moon are actually craters filled with basalt, which is a very
- The moon is the only extraterrestrial body that has ever been
visited by humans. It is also the only body that has had samples taken
- The first space craft to send back pictures from the moon was Luna 3
[built by the Soviet Union] in October 1959.
- The moon has no global magnetic field.
Did You Know
'The Dark Side of the Moon' is the eighth studio album by English rock
group Pink Floyd, released in March 1973.
The dark side of the Moon may mean either:
- The lunar hemisphere that is not currently lit by the sun [which is
- The far side of the Moon, the side that is permanently turned away
from the Earth.
Edward Lear Poem
There was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively vague;
He built a balloon to examine the moon,
That deluded Old Man of the
Myths and legends often grew up, in ancient times, to explain difficult
and uncertain happenings in the world. These examples researched by Will and
Guy follow this pattern. We hope you enjoy them because we think they are
The Chinese Moon Legend of Chang Er
This story is set
around 2170 B.C. The earth once had ten suns circling over it and each
took its turn to illuminate to the earth. One day, however, all ten suns
appeared together, scorching the earth with their fierce heat.
The earth was saved by a strong and tyrannical archer named Hou Yi. He
succeeded in shooting down nine of the suns. One day, Hou Yi stole the
elixir of life from a goddess. However his beautiful wife Chang Er drank the
elixir of life in order to save the people from her husband's tyrannical
rule. After drinking it, she found herself floating and flew to the moon.
Hou Yi loved his divinely beautiful wife so much, he didn't shoot down
Chinese Moon Festival
The Moon Festival, we have discovered, is also a time for romance.
Will and Guy suggest that even if a couple can't be together, they
can still enjoy the night by watching the moon at the same time so it
seems that they are together at that hour.
A Cheesy Moon Joke
Question: What do you get when you take a green cheese
on the moon and divide its circumference by its diameter?
Answer: Moon pi.
Hunter's Moon and Poacher's Moon
The first full moon
after the autumnal equinox is know as 'Hunter's moon' because the light
combined with abundance of prey such as rabbits meant it was the pefect time
for stalking prey. Other call this the Harvest moon.
From medieval times countrymen called the full moon
after Hunter's moon, 'Poacher's moon'.
Incidentally, the first full moon after the vernal (spring) equinox is sometimes
called 'Bluebell moon'. Earthshine is especially noticeable at this
time of year. My grandmother described this grey reflection of the
earth on the moon as the Old Moon in the New Moon's arms.
A Native American Myth
A Native American myth says
that the sun and moon are a chieftain and his wife and that the stars are
The sun loves to catch and eat his children, so they flee from the sky
whenever he appears.
The moon plays happily with the stars while the sun is sleeping.
However, each month, she turns her face to one side and darkens it [as
the moon wanes] to mourn the children that the sun succeeded in catching.
A Legend from Nigeria, West Africa
The Efik Ibibio
people of Nigeria in West Africa also say that the sun and the moon are
husband and wife.
Long ago they lived on the earth. One day their best friend: Flood, came
to visit them, bringing fish, reptiles, and other relatives. Flood rose so
high in their house that they had to perch on the roof.
Finally he covered the house entirely, so the sun and moon had to leap
into the sky.
A Myth from Greece
According to the Greek myth of
Endymion and Selene, the moon (Selene) fell in love with a handsome young
king named Endymion and bore him 50 daughters.
One version of the story says that Selene placed Endymion in eternal
sleep to prevent him from dying and to keep him forever beautiful.
Footnote: Endymion was the Latin name for bluebell,
hence 'Bluebell' moon.
A Legend from Kenya, East Africa
In a myth of the
Luyia people of Kenya in East Africa, the sun and moon were brothers. The
moon was older, bigger, and brighter, and so the jealous sun picked a fight
with him. The two wrestled and the moon fell into mud, which dimmed his
brightness. God finally made them stop fighting and kept them apart by
ordering the sun to shine by day and the mud-spattered moon to shine by
night to illuminate the world of witches and thieves.
Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?
The food is excellent, but there's no atmosphere.
"The man in the moon came down too soon,
and asked his way to Norwich,
He went by the south and burnt his mouth
By supping on cold plum
The Traditional English verse reads
"The man in the moon came down too soon,
and asked his way to Norwich,
They sent him south and he burnt his mouth
By eating cold
There is a Tradition that the Man in the Moon Enjoyed Drinking Claret
An old ballad runs (original spelling):
"Our man in the moon drinks
With powder-beef, turnep, and carret.
If he doth so, why
should not you
Drink until the sky looks blew?"
Further Five Favourite Funny Facts
- When Neil Armstrong took that first historical step of "one small
step for man one giant step for mankind" it would not have occurred to
anyone that the step he took in the dust of the moon was there to stay.
It will be there for millions of years because there is no wind on the
moon. That is, assuming the downdraft from the Command Module upon
takeoff back into space didn't destroy the print. Buzz Aldrin reportedly
saw the American flag, much further away, blow over during launch.
Nevertheless, any footprints made by the famous astronauts undisturbed
by takeoff are, in fact, there to stay.
- In a survey conducted in 1988, 13% of those surveyed believed that
the moon is made of cheese.
- In China, the dark shadows forming a face is seen as "the toad in
the moon," not the "man in the moon."
- If you weigh 140 pounds on earth, you would weigh 23.240 lbs on the
- The moon is 225,745 miles from earth.
Interesting Moon Factoid
"Voyage dans la Lune", Le/A Trip to the Moon (France, 1902), the screen's
first science fiction story, was a 14 minute masterpiece created by
imaginative French director and master magician Georges Melies (1861-1938)
in his version of the Jules Verne story.
The silent film's plot, a light-hearted satire criticizing the
conservative scientific community of its time, was inspired by Jules Verne's
"From the Earth to the Moon" (1865) and H. G. Wells' "First Men in the Moon"
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