Tommy Cooper Jokes and One Liners

So I rang up a local building firm, I said: I want a skip outside my house. He said: I am not stopping you.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn\'t find any.

Tommy Cooper was a great comedian, Will and Guy love his jokes and funny stories.

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said \'Who\'s speaking please?\' And a voice said, \'You are\'.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper ';