Funny Iceland Ash Jokes

It's a bit early for Iceland volcano jokes.
We should wait awhile for the
dust to settle.

• Icelandic Volcanic
  Dust Disruption
• Will's Favourite Ash Joke
• Summary
  of the Recent Iceland Volcanic Eruption
• How to Pronounce
  Eyjafjallajökull
• More Hilarious Iceland
  Ash Jokes

Photograph by Amar Thorisson -->

Icelandic Volcanic Dust
Disruption

• I see that America has declared war on Iceland.
  Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a "weapon of ash
  eruption".
• It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its
  ashes be spread over Europe.
• Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on
  fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.
• Iceland, we wanted your cash, not your ash.
• Waiter, there's volcanic ash in my soup.  I know sir,
  it's a no-fly zone.
• Richard Curtis is working on a new rom-com about people
  stuck in an airport who fall in love. The working title is "Lava
  Actually".
• I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head
  by a bag of frozen sausages, a chocolate gateau and some fish fingers. I
  realised it must be the fallout from Iceland.
• Volcano in Iceland. What next Earthquake in Wal-Mart?
• I woke this morning to find every surface in the
  house covered in a layer of dust and a foul stench of sulphur in the
  air. No change, I've been married to that idle slob for 20 years.

Will's Favourite Ash Joke Heard
in the Duke of Buckingham Pub

This volcanic ash cloud is totally disruptive as my wife and mother in
law have been stuck at the airport for eight days now. They keep phoning,
moaning and complaining; they even phoned whilst I was on the golf course
this morning. Still I suppose I could get the car out and go to London
Gatwick Airport tomorrow and pick them up; it's not that far really!

Will and Guy's Funny
Summary of the
Recent Iceland Volcanic Eruption

I nearly blew my top when I heard about the Icelandic Volcano. The news
exploded around the world and across the internet. I thought it was a huge
Volcano and the news left me trembling and quaking in my shoes. There were a
lot of people spewing false information, and many were just full of hot air.
That funny man on YouTube, who shouted, 'I hate Iceland!', was just blowing
off steam. Most of the ash cloud talk was going over my head. I especially
had trouble trying to pronounce EyJ -Eyjaf -Eyjafjall - oh forget it!
Eyjafjallajökull

Not only is the volcanic dust cloud disrupting air traffic, it is causing
many ashen faces around Europe. I'm so tired of the old Geysir jokes about
Ashland! The whole situation is so lavable but most of the jokes have not
made me erupt with laughter!

Iceland has taken a lot of criticism. However, let's clear the air. When
the dust settles, we will understand that it wasn't Iceland's fault.

Now that Iceland is in the news so much, I wonder if it will become a
tourist hotspot!

How to Pronounce
Eyjafjallajökull

AY-uh-fyat-luh-YOE-kuutl-uh . For clarity, that's that is -ay as in day,
-fy as in few, -oe as in French "coeur", -uu as in boot, the -tl as in
atlas. The (-uh) is "a" as in ago, explains the BBC's pronunciation unit.

In Icelandic, "Eyja" means island, "fjall" or "fyjoll" means mountain,
and "jökull" means glacier - so "the islandmountainglacier volcano" might
suffice for those still struggling Will and Guy suggest.

More Hilarious Iceland Ash
Jokes

• The BBC reported this morning that the dust which
  settled on Liverpool F.C's Trophy Cabinet is not actually volcanic ash.
• Despite my magma-nimous efforts to reduce the air
  industry's carbon footprint, I seem to have caused something of a
  pa-lava.
  
• A man is shopping in a Tesco store in Iceland. When he
  gets to the till and pays for his shopping the girl behind the till
  says, 'Do you want any ash back?'
• All this ash cloud talk is going over my head.
• What did the Icelandic Volcano say to the earthquake?
  'It's not my fault.'
• IKEA announce that supplies of their new dining suite,
  Eyjafjallajökull, will only be available in Black Ash finish.
• An eruption in Katla [the volcano next to
  Eyjafjallajökull] will be a lot harder on every one, except for those who
  have to pronounce it.

What's the Capital of Iceland?

No it's not Reykjavik, see here for the answer

Footnote:
Please send us your funny Iceland ash jokes.