My mother used to talk of a 'Cow lick', meaning a hair parting, but a lion
lick that's something else.
These pictures brought to mind a memory from many years ago. In my
home town of Chesterfield, England an act came to the local Circus
which involved a scantily dressed young lady; she laid down on a stage
with a lump of raw meat on her nose. The Lion then came on, stood
over her, and licked the lump of meat from her face. John Cuttriss.
Brian, just out of school, starts a new job at Whipsnade Wild Animal Park,
Dunstable, Bedfordshire, UK and is given three tasks to complete as part of his
probationary period. First he has to clear the weeds from the exotic fish pool. As Brian does this, a
piranha jumps out and bites him. In a panic, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employers won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by
feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of cleaning out the primate house, Brian is attacked
by two aggressive chimpanzees, who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes wildly at
the two chimps with his spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to
the lions, of course, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the
lion enclosure. Brian now moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by a swarm of angry bees. He
grabs the spade and smashes several of them to a pulp. He throws them into the
lion enclosure, because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the Animal Park from Marwell Zoo,
Winchester, UK. He wanders up to the other lion and asks, 'What's the food like
here?' The first lion replies, 'Absolutely superb, for example: today we had fish and
chimps with mushy bees.'
A lion wakes up one morning feeling really grumpy and mean. He goes out and
corners a small monkey and roars, 'Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?' The trembling monkey answers, 'You are, mighty lion.' Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, 'Who is the mightiest
of all jungle animals?' The terrified ox stammers, 'Oh g-g-great lion, you are the mightiest animal
in the jungle.' On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, 'Who is
mightiest of all jungle animals?' Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams
him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been
run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then tramples the lion till it looks
like a pancake and wanders off. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head
weakly and shouts after the elephant, 'Just because you don't know the answer,
you don't have to get so angry about it.' This joke is attributed to Margaret McVey, Bathgate, West Lothian, Scotland.
They make an most unlikely trio, but Baloo the bear, Leo the lion and
Shere Khan the tiger have forged an unusually strong bond. Considering that
they would be mortal enemies if they ever were to meet in the wild, it is
stunning to see their unique and genuine friendship in these intimate
pictures. The three animals were rescued eight years ago during a police drugs raid
in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, the three friends were only cubs at the time at
barely two months old. Will and Guy have discovered that the three all live together in a
specially-built enclosure at Noah's Ark Animal Rescue Centre, in Georgia,
USA. Apparently kept as status symbol pets by the drug barons, they were
delivered to the rescue centre where the decision was made to keep the
youngsters together, because of their rapport. Living with the zoo's founders for the past eight years, Shere Khan,
Baloo and Leo have now moved to a purpose-built habitat where the US public
can now witness first hand their touching relationships. It is possible to see Baloo, who is a 1000lb bear, Shere Khan, a 350lb
tiger and Leo, who is also 350lbs, messing around like brothers. They are
totally oblivious to the fact that in any other circumstance they would not
be friends. Handled by Charles and Jama Hedgecoth, the zoo's owners and founders, the
three friendly giants appear to have no comprehension of their animal
differences. 'Baloo and Shere Khan are very close,' says Diane. 'That is because they
rise early, and as Leo is a lion, he likes to spend most of the day
sleeping. It is wonderful and magical to see a giant American Black Bear put
his arm around a Bengal and then to see the tiger nuzzle up to the bear like
a domestic cat. When Leo wakes up the three of them mess around for most of
the day before they settle down to some food.' Surprisingly for three alpha predators with the power to kill with a
single bite or swipe of their paw, they are very relaxed around each other.
'They eat, sleep and play together,' said Jama. 'As they treat each other as
siblings they will lie on top of each other for heat and simply for
affection. At the moment they are getting used to their new habitat.' The trio's new habitat cost an estimated £15,000 [$24,500 USD] and had to
be constructed carefully, in order to accommodate its occupants. Jama added,
'The clubhouse had to be very sturdy for the guys, because they all sleep in
it together.' She continued, 'We had to include a creek, because the tiger
and the bear both like to be in water.' Footnote: Kindly sent in by John Reeves
In a head-to-head fight there is no other animal that you would back to
kill a lion. However, real life in the jungle is not that simple.
Firstly, it's the lioness that kills most of the pride's food.
Secondly, lions rely on co-operation and stalking as much as speed.
Thirdly in battles with other species lions are by no means undefeated.
There are many examples of a dead lion surrounded by dead hyenas, or wolves.
The evidence indicating that while the lion may have killed ten lesser
carnivores, they were no match for a pack of determined dogged opponents.
While the lionesses do most of the hunting, and pretty much all of the
cub rearing, the lion dominates the pride and fights off other males.
When the old lion is deposed by the new younger fitter lion, the new king
kills off all the cubs. This seems cruel, nature in the raw, but as he
is king of the castle, killing the cubs makes sure that the lionesses come
into season, and look to him to father some more cubs.
A lion's tail is different from that of the other members of the cat
family, it has a tassel end. The tail can be used for signalling in a
wide-range of situations; for instance, mother to cub, 'this way', one
huntress to another, 'I am circling left', or even from lioness to lion,
Crepuscular means becoming active at dawn or dusk, and it describes the
lionesses hunting strategy perfectly. In the twilight they take
advantage of their good eyesight, stalking prowess, teamwork and raw power
to overcome the weakest zebra or wildebeest in the herd.
Footnote: Please send us your funny lion pictures and interesting facts.
See more funny pictures of animals, also jokes and