Funny Chinese New Year Jokes
The Story of Chen and The CakesChen was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local snack bar where he bought a cake. When Chen had eaten the cake, he found that he was still famished, and so he ate a second one. Even then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in succession, but he hadn't satisfied his hunger. Not until Chen had eaten the seventh cake did he feel satisfied. Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this before, I would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have been enough and there would not have been any need to eat those six others.'
Huang Fu and the Bottle of Wine ParableHuang Fu was a very rich man who was deliberately tough on his farmhand, Hop. Huang Fu gave Hop a bottle and said, 'Buy me a bottle of wine.' Hop, the poor farmhand enquired, 'How can I buy you wine with no money at all?' Huang Fu replied disdainfully, 'Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money.' Time elapsed and Hop eventually returned farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to Huang Fu and murmured, 'Enjoy the wine, please.' Staring at the empty bottle with some dismay, Huang asked, 'There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?' Hop replied to Huang Fu, with a straight face, 'Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none.' Huang Fu made a choking sound but was unable to utter a word.
Shanyuan and the Lie. Or Always Tell the TruthPark was a rogue, a charlatan and a rascal, but he a hard life and barely managed to keep body and soul together. He often was close to starving. So one day Park happened to pass a household that was holding the funeral of one of its family members. Quickly, Park slipped into the house and cried bitterly in front of the memorial tablet of the dead. Nobody knew him, so, surprised, people asked him why he cried. 'I was best friends with the dead. We hadn't seen each other for months. Now he has passed away, how could I not feel sad? Since I just happened to be passing, I wasn't prepared for this. All I can do now is to cry for my best friend, which is an expression of our friendship.' The family was deeply moved by Park's comments and promptly asked him to stay to dinner. On his way home Park met an old friend, Shanyuan, whose life was equally precarious. 'Where did you manage to eat and drink today?' Shanyuan asked the roguish Park, who told him the story from beginning to end. The next day Shanyuan also found a family that was holding a funeral and cried likewise. When they asked him the reason, he replied that he was a best friend of the dead. Before he had finished, however, Shanyuan received a storm of punches and kicks. It transpired that the deceased of the family was a young housewife.
10 of the Best Chinese Proverbs
- Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
- A life with love is happy; a life for love is foolish.
- War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
- A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.
- Three humble shoemakers brainstorming make a great statesman.
- Visiting monks give better sermons.
- He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
- An ambitious horse will never return to its old stable.
- A conversation with a wise person is worth of ten years' study of books.
- Chinese 'Cracked Pot' Parable
- How did an embarrassed panda get mistaken for a newspaper?They are both black and white, and red all over!
- What's purple, 10,000 km long and 12m high? The grape wall of China.
- Where can you always find a tiger's head? four foot from his tail!
Pete, aged 9 years: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Roger, his father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!When beginning to copy, his secretary stared tongue-tied and did not know where to start. The young man had to take the manuscript back to the Prime Minister. 'Prime Minister Chang, I can't read your handwriting, please tell me what words they are.' The Prime Minister read his cursive hand a long time, and did not know what Chinese characters they were, either. He then turned to blame his secretary. 'Why didn't you come earlier to ask me? I myself have forgotten the words which I've written.' See our New Year jokes.
20 Number 6 - Classic Chinese English JokeIt was Chinese New Year. Bill and Jackson had just staggered back home from a Chinese New Year party when they noticed that a menu from the new restaurant next door had come through the letter box. On a whim they decided to celebrate the Chinese New Year with a take-away. Jackson, was just off out of the door to fetch their meal when Bill turned to him and said, 'Please get me 20 number 6 while you're at the take-away. Jackson returned with their chicken Chou Mein, sweet and sour pork and 20 portions of egg fried rice. Bill said, 'Where's me fags'. Jackson said, 'What cigarettes, you asked for 20 number 6 and that's what you've got, enough egg fried rice to feed a Chinese Junk from Shanghai to Hong Kong'. Bill said, 'When I was last in England Embassy No 6 was a packet of fags.'
How To Speak Chinese Funny
- I thought you were on a diet.................. Wai Yu Mun Ching?
- This is a tow-away zone........................ No Pah King
- Our meeting is scheduled for next week.... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
- Staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo
- See more funny Chinese speak