Graveyard Humour

Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away!  Death really hates that!  Matt Frewer Graveyard Humour

Graveyard Humour - Dead End

 Graveyard Dead end

 Cemetery Sign from Other Directions

Graveyard Humour: Cemetery sign - Dead End

Confused?  Will and Guy AreCasualty Cemetery

Cemetery - No Entry Firstly there is that no right turn 150 yards.  Then there is the arrow pointing to an entry for the Cemetery Hospital.  How DO you get in? Then when you get in where do you go?  Out Patients - or Casualty?

Sleeping Prohibited

Graveyard humour - Sleeping prohibited in grave yard I must admit that I have never seen a 'Sleeping Prohibited' sign, therefore I deduce that someone has cleverly faked the word sleeping in the above picture.

Best of Graveyard Humour

Tough Cookie John is dying.  However, he can smell his favorite chocolate nut brownies cooking downstairs.  John summons all the strength that he has left, he flops out of bed and crawls downstairs.  He sees the brownies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them.  As John reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled old hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells: 'No John, you can't have those!  They're for the funeral!'
Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2013 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.

American Graveyard Humor - Funny Gravestones Cemetery or Landfill?

Gravestone near Uniontown, Pennsylvania, USA: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. Epitaph in cemetery at Girard, Pennsylvania, USA: In loving memory of Ellen Shannon, aged 25, Who was accidentally burned March 21, 1870, By the explosion of a lamp filled with R.E. Danforth's Non-explosive burning fluid. A Cemetery in Ruidoso, Lincoln County, New Mexico, USA, has this: Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising. In a Cemetery in Thurmont, Frederick County, Maryland, USA: Billy Wilder Tombstone Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. Found in a cemetery in Albany, New York, USA: Harry Smith Born 1903 - Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. Found in La Pointe, Wisconsin, USA:Graveyard humor - Funny gravestones To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu Born 15 September 1822 Accidentally shot 4th April 1844 As a mark of affection from his brother. Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood cemetery, Richmond, Virginia, USA: She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her. Found in Elmwood cemetery, Burlington, Vermont, USA: She lived with her husband fifty years And died in the confident hope of a better life Rest in Peace? Iris Benbow, recently widowed, requested the epitaph 'Rest in Peace' on her husband's gravestone. When Iris later found that he had left all his money to his mistress, she attempted to get the mason to change the carving. This proved impossible as the words had been chiselled by a stonemason and could not be changed. 'In that case,' Iris demanded, 'please add "Until We Meet Again." '

Scottish Graveyard Humour

Scottish GravediggerArchie Archie, an old Scottish gravedigger was asked how business was. Archie replied, 'Oh, very poorly, very poorly indeed. I havena' buried a livin' soul for six weeks.' Fergus Annie, an elderly Scots lady, lay dying. She looked up and asked her husband if he would do her just one small favour before she went. 'Fergus,' she asked, 'on the day o' the funeral I'd like ye tae ride in the same coach as ma mother.' To which Fergus replied, 'A' richt, Annie. I'll dae that tae please ye. But ye've completely spoilt the day for me.'

English Graveyard Humour

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Sir Winston Churchill I don't speak to my friend Edward any more since he shortened his name - he's Ted to me now. - Aaron Rice [He's dead to me now!]

Unusual, Strange Graveyard Humour

Grave Yard In Ribbesford cemetery, near Bewdsley, Worcestershire, England Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

The Worst of Graveyard Humor?

Dead people's things for sale
Rodney Dangerfield Says: My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

Stairway to Heaven?

Stairway to Heaven

Stairway to Hell?

Stairway to Hell Footnote: Will and Guy often wonder, 'Who are the people who build these follies?'  'What do they look like?'

Another Dead End? Inside is Another Staircase to NowhereDead end - Staircase

Dead end - Staircase Try climbing those stairs See more Hilariously, Silly and Funny Building Mistakes

Meanwhile Back Outside We Have Deep Excavations

Dead people's things for sale
It wasn't the cough, that carried him off.  It was the coffin they carried him off in.
Footnote: Please send us your funny pictures of graveyard humour.

See more funny Halloween jokes, also clean pumpkin jokes

• Home   • Clean Halloween jokes • Funny Halloween pictures   • Pumpkin jokes   • Jack-o-Lantern

• Short Halloween stories for kids   • Halloween games for kids   • Animations   • Graveyard humour

• Funny Halloween stories • Halloween cats   • Ghost story   • Coven of witches   • Trick or Treat