Funny Valentines Sayings for 14 February

'Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't
live without.'

• Ten Classic Valentines Sayings
  
• Funny Valentine's Day Sayings
• 
  Valentine's Limericks
• More Valentine
  Sayings From the Famous

Ten Classic Valentines
Sayings

1. Love is friendship set on fire. Jeremy Taylor
2. Love is a game that two can play and both win. Eva Gabor
   
3. Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
   Jerome K. Jerome
4. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my
   soul can reach. Elizabeth Barrett Browning
5. 'Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but
   luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.' 
   Anon
6. For twas not into my ear you whispered
   But into my heart
   Twas not my lips you kissed
   But my soul.
   Judy Garland
7. Love is the heart of the soul. Robert Paul
8. A hundred hearts would be too few
   To carry all my love
   for you.
   Anon
9. My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I
   told her to rub her eyes. Emo Philips
10. I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent
    Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on
    my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
    Anon

Funny Valentine's Day Sayings,
Phrases and Rhymes

For each February 14th The Washington Post newspaper holds a Valentine's Day competition asking
for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but.... The least romantic
second line.  Will and Guy bring you their ditties:

• Valentine's Sayings which involve Humour and Lies
  I thought that
  I could love no other
  Until, that is, I met your brother.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
  But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
  and so is your head.
• Of loving beauty you float with grace
  If only you could hide your
  face.
• Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
  This describes everything you
  are not.
• I want to feel your sweet embrace
  But don't take that paper bag
  off of your face.
• I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
  Damn, I'm good at
  telling lies!
• I see your face when I am dreaming.
  That's why I always wake up
  screaming.
• My love, you take my breath away.
  What have you stepped in to
  smell this way?
• My feelings for you no words can tell
  Except for maybe 'Go To
  Hell'.
• What inspired this amorous rhyme?
  Two parts vodka, one part
  lime ...

Two
Valentine's Limericks that Will and Guy Enjoyed Reading

1) Constance

There was a young lady named Constance,
From boys she wouldn't
stand any nonsense.
If her partners grew deft
She would lead with her
left;
The results would not weigh on her conscience.

2) The Old Man of Lyme

There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time
When asked, 'Why a third?'
He replied, 'One's absurd!
And bigamy, Sir,
is a crime.'

Love and Marriage - Proverbs, Maxims
and Aphorisms

• A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
• Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
• The most effective way to remember your wife's
  birthday is to forget it once.
• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
• Before
  marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.  After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A
  successful woman is one who can find such a man
• A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
  And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'
• A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't
  for my money, the house wouldn't
  be here!'
  The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't
  for your money, I wouldn't be here.'

More Valentine
Sayings From the Famous

• 'When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain'. Mark
  Twain
• 'Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.'
  Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist
• 'A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; A woman loses hers
  after four.' kisses. H.L. Mencken
• 'Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you
  can't live without.'
• 'Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again
  somewhere down the road.' Kelly Elaine
• 'One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is
  love.' Sophocles
• 'For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings, That then I scorn to
  change my state with kings.' Shakespeare 'Sonnet #29'
• No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do
  with a single thread.' Robert Burton
• 'We must love one another or die'. W. H. Auden
• 'If you judge people, you have no time to love them.' Mother Teresa
• If you have it, you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have
  it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.' Sir James M. Barrie
• 'Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of
  the soul.' St. Augustine
• 'Love, like a river, will cut a new path Whenever it meets an obstacle.'
  Crystal Middlemas
• 'Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his
  friends.' Jesus
• 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in
  return'. Eden Ahbez
• 'It's not that I can't live without you...it's just that I don't
  even want to try.'
• 'The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.' Pascal
• 'The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful
  than the risk it takes to blossom.' Anais Nin
• 'You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.' Barbara DeAngelis
  

Footnote
If you have any funny
Valentines sayings then please send
them to us.