Funny Valentines Sayings for 14 February

Valentines Sayings

'Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't
live without.'

Ten Classic Valentines
Sayings

  1. Love is friendship set on fire. Jeremy Taylor
  2. Love is a game that two can play and both win. Eva Gabor
  3. Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
    Jerome K. Jerome
  4. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my
    soul can reach. Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  5. 'Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but
    luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.' 
    Anon
  6. For twas not into my ear you whispered
    But into my heart
    Twas not my lips you kissed
    But my soul.
    Judy Garland
  7. Love is the heart of the soul. Robert Paul
  8. A hundred hearts would be too few
    To carry all my love
    for you.
    Anon
  9. My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I
    told her to rub her eyes. Emo Philips
  10. I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent
    Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on
    my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
    Anon

Funny Valentine's Day Sayings,
Phrases and RhymesHappy Valentine - Funny Sayings

For each February 14th The Washington Post newspaper holds a Valentine's Day competition asking
for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but.... The least romantic
second line.  Will and Guy bring you their ditties:

  • Valentine's Sayings which involve Humour and Lies
    I thought that
    I could love no other
    Until, that is, I met your brother.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
    and so is your head.
  • Of loving beauty you float with grace
    If only you could hide your
    face.
  • Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
    This describes everything you
    are not.
  • I want to feel your sweet embrace
    But don't take that paper bag
    off of your face.
  • I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
    Damn, I'm good at
    telling lies!
  • I see your face when I am dreaming.
    That's why I always wake up
    screaming.
  • My love, you take my breath away.
    What have you stepped in to
    smell this way?
  • My feelings for you no words can tell
    Except for maybe 'Go To
    Hell'.
  • What inspired this amorous rhyme?
    Two parts vodka, one part
    lime ...

Two
Valentine's Limericks that Will and Guy Enjoyed ReadingValentine's Day Limerick

1) Constance

There was a young lady named Constance,
From boys she wouldn't
stand any nonsense.
If her partners grew deft
She would lead with her
left;
The results would not weigh on her conscience.

2) The Old Man of Lyme

There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time
When asked, 'Why a third?'
He replied, 'One's absurd!
And bigamy, Sir,
is a crime.'

Love and Marriage - Proverbs, Maxims
and Aphorisms

  • A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.Valentine's Day Jokes
  • Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
  • The most effective way to remember your wife's
    birthday is to forget it once.
  • When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
  • Before
    marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.  After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A
    successful woman is one who can find such a man
  • A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
    And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'
  • A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't
    for my money, the house wouldn't
    be here!'
    The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't
    for your money, I wouldn't be here.'

More Valentine
Sayings From the Famous

  • 'When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain'. Mark
    Twain
  • 'Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.'
    Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist
  • 'A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; A woman loses hers
    after four.' kisses. H.L. Mencken
  • 'Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you
    can't live without.'
  • 'Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again
    somewhere down the road.' Kelly Elaine
  • 'One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is
    love.' Sophocles
  • 'For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings, That then I scorn to
    change my state with kings.' Shakespeare 'Sonnet #29'
  • No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do
    with a single thread.' Robert Burton
  • 'We must love one another or die'. W. H. Auden
  • 'If you judge people, you have no time to love them.' Mother Teresa
  • If you have it, you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have
    it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.' Sir James M. Barrie
  • 'Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of
    the soul.' St. Augustine
  • 'Love, like a river, will cut a new path Whenever it meets an obstacle.'
    Crystal Middlemas
  • 'Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his
    friends.' Jesus
  • 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in
    return'. Eden Ahbez
  • 'It's not that I can't live without you...it's just that I don't
    even want to try.'
  • 'The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.' Pascal
  • 'The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful
    than the risk it takes to blossom.' Anais Nin
  • 'You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.' Barbara DeAngelis

Footnote
If you have any funny
Valentines sayings then please send
them to us.

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