For each February 14th The Washington Post newspaper holds a Valentine's Day competition asking
for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but.... The least romantic
second line. Will and Guy bring you their ditties:
Valentine's Sayings which involve Humour and Lies
I thought that
I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag
off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to
smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe 'Go To
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part
There was a young lady named Constance,
From boys she wouldn't
stand any nonsense.
If her partners grew deft
She would lead with her
The results would not weigh on her conscience.
2) The Old Man of Lyme
There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time
When asked, 'Why a third?'
He replied, 'One's absurd!
And bigamy, Sir,
is a crime.'
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
successful woman is one who can find such a man
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't
for my money, the house wouldn't
The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't
for your money, I wouldn't be here.'
'When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain'. Mark
'Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.'
Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist
'A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; A woman loses hers
after four.' kisses. H.L. Mencken
'Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you
can't live without.'
'Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again
somewhere down the road.' Kelly Elaine
'One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is
'For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings, That then I scorn to
change my state with kings.' Shakespeare 'Sonnet #29'
No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do
with a single thread.' Robert Burton
'We must love one another or die'. W. H. Auden
'If you judge people, you have no time to love them.' Mother Teresa
If you have it, you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have
it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.' Sir James M. Barrie
'Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of
the soul.' St. Augustine
'Love, like a river, will cut a new path Whenever it meets an obstacle.'
'Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his
'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in
'It's not that I can't live without you...it's just that I don't
even want to try.'
'The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.' Pascal
'The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful
than the risk it takes to blossom.' Anais Nin
'You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.' Barbara DeAngelis
If you have any funny
Valentines sayings then please send
them to us.
See more St Valentine's Day jokes, funny stories,
poems, sayings and pictures
Valentine's Day jokes
Valentine's Day trivia
Funny Valentine pics
Funny Valentine card
Funny Valentine places
Valentine's hearts pictures
Love in animal kingdom
Ideas for a boy