Contents
Answers Given in a Bible Knowledge Test
- The first
book of the Bible is Guinness's, In the book of Guinness Adam and Eve were created from an apple
(Hmm could they mean Genesis?) - Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's
wife was Joan of the Ark. Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears. - Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the 10 Commandments.
- The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
- Lot's
wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. - Samson slayed
the Philistines with the axe of the apostles. - The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he actually obeyed him.
- Unleavened bread is bread made with no ingredients.
- A Christian should have only one wife. This is called
monotony. - Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
- Solomon had 100 wives and 700 porcupines.
- The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
- When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
- When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus sacked in the manager.
- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
- St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
Funny Religious Jokes
From Christmas Crackers
- Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson because he
brought the house down. - Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!
- The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- Tonight's sermon: 'What is hell?' Come early and listen to our carol
practice. - Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When
Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Ten General Christian Thoughts of the Day
- There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience. - French proverb
- Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you
weep - Carl Sandburg - Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up. -
Jesse Jackson - A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. -
Charles Darwin. - The worst sin - perhaps the only sin - passion can commit, is to be
joyless. - Dorothy L. Sayers - When evil men plot, good men must plan. When evil men shout ugly words of
hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love. - The Reverend
Martin Luther King Jr. - Goodness does not consist in greatness, but greatness in goodness. -
Athenaeus - Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. -
Madeline Bridges - We can forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of
life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato - What lies behind us and what lies before are
tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - William Morow
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