Funny Signs

Friends and colleagues of Guy and Will have helped in the compilation of these 'signs'
which they have seen in different places in the world:

• Touching Wires Causes Instant Death
• Another Tranche of Funny Signs
• More Funny Signs

Touching Wires Causes Instant Death

Will and Guy think that the above $200 fine is a bit steep - under the circumstances.

More Funny Signs

• At a Music Store in Nottingham, UK : Out to lunch. Bach
  at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.
• In a dry cleaner's
  shop in Portsea, Portsmouth, UK: Drop your trousers here.
• In a department store in Vancouver, Canada: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
• In a restaurant in
  Norfolk, Virginia, USA: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
• In a restaurant window just outside Brixham, Devon, UK: Don't
  stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
• In a health food shop window in Los Angeles, USA: Closed due to illness.
• In a pub in West Sussex which is non-smoking: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Another Tranche of Funny Signs

• This
  sign can be found at the front of Safeway store in Seattle, USA: For Sale: 100% Recycled Compost. [Is there any other way to produce compost?]
• Adult Literacy leaflet in Chelmsford, Essex, UK: If you cannot
  read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
• On a Music Teacher's
  door in Halifax, Nova Scotia, USA: Out Chopin, back in a min-u-et.
• The Ram Inn Hotel's
  restaurant, Newark, UK: Try
  our fish just for the halibut.
• Written on the trucks of a local plumbing company in San Francisco: Don't
  sleep with a drip call your plumber.
• Seen in a vet's
  waiting room, Walton-on-Thames, UK: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
• In an Ottowa, Canada, clothing store:
  Wonderful bargains for men with 18 and 19 necks.
• At an Optician's in Fareham, UK: If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.
• In a Laundromat, seen in Portland, Oregon, USA:
  Automatic Washing Machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

Ever seen hot snow?

More Funny Signs

Sighted at a towing company in Sacramento, California, 'We don't
charge an arm and a leg . We want tows.'

Written
on the door of the Delivery Room in the Maternity Suite at St Mary's
Hospital, Newcastle, UK, 'Push. Push. Push.'

Wet Paint. This is a warning, not an instruction. Sign next to a fence seen in Bradford, UK

Seen outside a second hand shop in Glasgow, Scotland, 'We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.  Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.'

Spotted in Windsor Safari Park,
Berkshire, UK: 'Baboons - Please stay in your car.'
[When Will and his family visited the park, the baboons sat on the roof and the bonnet of his car; they broke the windscreen wipers and threw them away, as
well as pulling the washers out of their seating, drinking the soapy water and throwing the pipes away. I didn't
dare leave the car to retrieve the pieces - I was not amused!].

• More clean jokes for June