Alas! How dreary would be the world if there was no Santa Claus!... There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. Francis P. Church
- 1 Santa Claus Pictures and Stories
- 2 Will and Guy's Selected Santa Quotes For Christmas
- 3 10 Of the Best Citations About Santa Claus
- 4 Pause And Think About Santa
- 5 Santa Claus The God - Passage By Donald E. Weslake
- 6 Golden Santa - Reference From Japan
- 7 Another Santa Passage
- 8 Santa Claus Booked - "Ridiculous" Says Politician
- 9 More Santa Quotes
- 10 Santa and The Train Set
- 11 Yes There Is A Santa Claus
- 12 Other Names for Santa Claus
- 13 Santa Claus and Coca Cola - The Urban Myth
- 14 Santa Sacked for Smacking Boy
- 15 General Hilarious Christmas Quotes
- 16 See more Christmas poems, quotes and stories
Santa Claus Pictures and Stories
- 10 Of the Best Citations About Santa Claus
- Santa Claus The God
- Funny Santa Cartoons - Ho Ho Ho
- Santa Claus and Coca Cola - The Urban Myth
- General Funny Christmas Quotes
- You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town. Haven Gillespie
- All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes. Maud Lindsay
- Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. WC Fields
- I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. Shirley Temple
- In this age of instant coffee, overnight rush deliveries, and 30-second media sound bites, it's not surprising that children have discovered that their letters to Santa Claus can be sent by email. Patrick Flaherty
- The myth of Santa has grown to gigantic proportions. He is able to know all, to judge each and every child, to make reindeer fly and do all these things at the North Pole! Obviously Santa has slowly taken the place of God, doing things which only God can do. Unfortunately, this "god" is a legalistic "god", dispensing gifts only upon those who deserve them. John L. Hoh [Junior]
- I hear how kids wise up to the Santa Claus routine but pretend otherwise because the goods seem connected to keeping their parents' fantasies flowing. I've seen the parents trying to pretend for the same reason - not because otherwise the gifts stop, but to maintain the innocence a little longer - even when both sides know the other side knows. Carol Bonomo
- Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows; who shares his joys with those who are sad; whose hand is never closed against the needy; whose arm is ever outstretched to aid the week; whose sympathy is quick and genuine in time of trouble; who recognizes a comrade and brother in every man he meets upon life's common road; who lives his life throughout the entire year in the Christmas spirit. Edward Osgood Grover
- I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighbourhood after dark. Dick Gregory
- When I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real, I wasn't upset; rather, I was relieved that there was a much simpler phenomenon to explain how so many children all over the world got presents on the same night! The story had been getting pretty complicated - it was getting out of hand. R. Feynman
Pause And Think About SantaIt's always good for us to pause And think awhile of Santa Claus ... That jolly symbol we revere When we approach the changing year. Behind his beard so long and white, In which our children take delight, There beats a heart from colour free Which bids all children 'come to me.' Marshall M. Morgan See more Christmas poems.
Another Santa PassageHe was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. Clement Clarke Moore
Santa Claus Booked - "Ridiculous" Says PoliticianSanta Claus received a parking ticket from a Brooklyn jobsworth. Word has reached Will and Guy that a New York parking official has penalised Santa Claus for a parking offence while delivering his presents to needy children. Father Christmas [aka Chip Cafiero, a retired schoolteacher] received the $115 USD ticket in Brooklyn. Apparently he shouted to the official, 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' but he was completely ignored. Santa claims that his horse-drawn carriage and a SUV carrying the toys was not causing an obstruction. We are not able to raise a comment from the police but a local politician has said the parking ticket is 'ridiculous.' Footnote: On hearing the news that that the D.A. is called Mary Christmas, Guy has taken the odds of 6 to 4 that Santa beats the rap.
More Santa QuotesHow do you know if Santa is really a werewolf? He has Santa claws! Dave Hill Who's the bane of Father Christmas's life? The elf and safety officer. Catherine Tate Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Cris Kringle. Question: What's red and white and black all over? Answer: Santa Claus after he slid down the chimney.
Yes There Is A Santa ClausIf you want the great gift giver To come on his sleigh and deliver Then remember this simple rhyme And recall it at Christmas time "If in Santa you do not believe Christmas gifts you will not receive"
Other Names for Santa ClausWhile it is true that the name Santa Claus was an American 'invention' sometime before 1870. The original name for the 'figure' associated with the mid-winter festival was Saint Nicholas, or St. Nick. Other languages have variations or translations of Saint Nicolas, for example, Père No�l, Papa Noel, Babbo Natale, Papai Noel, Father Christmas, and Kris Kringle. See more on the origins of Santa Claus
A popular urban myth is that back in 1928 Coca Cola invented Santa Claus. What fuels this myth is that his red coat matches perfectly the Coca Cola livery. The truth is that while early Santa Claus often wore green, Santa Claus in red was established by the 1860s, long before Coca Cola was invented.
Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
- 'Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.' Larry Wilde
- 'Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!' Ogden Nash
- Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. Richard Lamm
- Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
- 'A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing.' Anonymous
- The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. Benjamin Franklin
- Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
- What a wonderful life I've had. I only wish I'd realized it sooner. Colette See more Christmas quotes.
Question: What do you get if Santa comes down your chimney when the fire is ablaze? Answer: Crisp Kringle.
See more about Santa Claus »Footnote: Please send us your funny Santa quotes.