Alas! How dreary would be the world if there was no Santa Claus!... There
would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable
this existence. Francis P. Church
- 1 Santa Claus Pictures and Stories
- 2 Will and Guy's Selected Santa Quotes For Christmas
- 3 10 Of the Best Citations About Santa Claus
- 4 Pause And Think About Santa
- 5 Santa Claus The God - Passage ByDonald E. Weslake
- 6 Golden Santa - Reference From Japan
- 7 Another Santa Passage
- 8 Santa Claus Booked - "Ridiculous" Says Politician
- 9 More Santa Quotes
- 10 Santa and The Train Set
- 11 Yes There Is A Santa Claus
- 12 Other Names for Santa Claus
- 13 Santa Claus and CocaCola - The Urban Myth
- 14 Santa Sacked for Smacking Boy
- 15 General Hilarious Christmas Quotes
- 16 See more Christmas poems, quotes and stories
Santa Claus Pictures and Stories
- 10 Of the
Best Citations About Santa Claus
- Santa Claus The God
- Funny Santa Cartoons -
Ho Ho Ho
- Santa Claus
and Coca Cola - The Urban Myth
- General Funny Christmas Quotes
You may find this selection thought-provoking, humorous or tongue in
cheek. Whatever, we feel that they are worth a read.
- You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town. Haven
- All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes. Maud
- Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more
pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone
else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
- I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to
see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- In this age of instant coffee, overnight rush deliveries, and
30-second media sound bites, it's not surprising that children have
discovered that their letters to Santa Claus can be sent by email.
- The myth of Santa has grown to gigantic proportions. He is able to
know all, to judge each and every child, to make reindeer fly and do all
these things at the North Pole! Obviously Santa has slowly taken the
place of God, doing things which only God can do. Unfortunately, this
"god" is a legalistic "god", dispensing gifts only upon those who
deserve them. John L. Hoh [Junior]
- I hear how kids wise up to the Santa Claus routine but pretend
otherwise because the goods seem connected to keeping their parents'
fantasies flowing. I've seen the parents trying to pretend for the same
reason - not because otherwise the gifts stop, but to maintain the
innocence a little longer - even when both sides know the other side
knows. Carol Bonomo
- Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them
happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that
he bestows; who shares his joys with those who are sad; whose hand is
never closed against the needy; whose arm is ever outstretched to aid
the week; whose sympathy is quick and genuine in time of trouble; who
recognizes a comrade and brother in every man he meets upon life's
common road; who lives his life throughout the entire year in the
Christmas spirit. Edward Osgood Grover
- I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would
come into my neighbourhood after dark. Dick Gregory
- When I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real, I wasn't upset;
rather, I was relieved that there was a much simpler phenomenon to
explain how so many children all over the world got presents on the same
night! The story had been getting pretty complicated - it was getting
out of hand. R. Feynman
Pause And Think About Santa
It's always good for us to pause
And think awhile of Santa Claus
That jolly symbol we revere
When we approach the changing
Behind his beard so long and white,
In which our children
There beats a heart from colour free
all children 'come to me.'
Marshall M. Morgan
See more Christmas poems.
Santa Claus is a god. He's no less a god than Ahura Mazda, or Odin, or
Zeus. Think of the white beard, the chariot pulled through the air by
a breed of animal which doesn't ordinarily fly, the prayers [requests for
gifts] which are annually mailed to him and which so baffle the Post Office,
the specially-garbed priests in all the department stories. And don't
gods reflect their creators' society? The Greeks had a huntress
goddess, and gods of agriculture and war and love. What else would we
have but a god of giving, of merchandising, and of consumption?
Donald E. Westlake
This pure gold
statue of Santa Claus weights 20 kilos, Santa even has 10 gold coins in his belt. It was created by Ginza Tanaka and is offered on sale for 200 million yen ($1.8 million). Tanaka's company took 3 months to
fashion the statue. Rumour has it that he created 2 or even 3 of these pure gold Santas. It is difficult to judge its size from the picture, but
Santa stands about 40 centimetres, those lucky enough to live in
Tokyo can see the statue in the Shinsaibashi district of Osaka.
See more Father Christmas
Another Santa Passage
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes
were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had
flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was
drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it
encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little
round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
Clement Clarke Moore
Santa Claus Booked - "Ridiculous" Says Politician
Santa Claus received a parking ticket from a Brooklyn jobsworth.
Word has reached Will and Guy that a New York parking official has
penalised Santa Claus for a parking offence while delivering his presents to
needy children. Father Christmas [aka Chip Cafiero, a retired schoolteacher]
received the $115 USD ticket in Brooklyn. Apparently he shouted to the
official, 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' but he was completely ignored.
Santa claims that his horse-drawn carriage and a SUV carrying the toys
was not causing an obstruction. We are not able to raise a comment
from the police but a local politician has said the parking ticket is
On hearing the news that that the D.A. is
called Mary Christmas, Guy has taken the odds of 6 to 4 that Santa beats the
More Santa Quotes
How do you know if Santa is really a werewolf?
He has Santa
claws! Dave Hill
Who's the bane of Father Christmas's life?
The elf and safety officer.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his
soul to Cris Kringle.
Question: What's red and white and black all over?
Answer: Santa Claus after he slid down the chimney.
While working in a store as Santa Claus, I had lots of boys ask me for an
electric train set. "If you get your train," I would tell each one, "you
know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?"
The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this
question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along,
I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him.
He promptly replied, "Another train."
Yes There Is A Santa Claus
If you want the great gift giver
To come on his sleigh and deliver
Then remember this simple rhyme
And recall it at Christmas time
Santa you do not believe
Christmas gifts you will not receive"
Other Names for Santa Claus
While it is true that the name Santa Claus was an American 'invention' sometime before 1870. The
original name for the 'figure' associated with the mid-winter festival was
Saint Nicholas, or St. Nick. Other languages have variations or
translations of Saint Nicolas, for example, Père No�l, Papa Noel, Babbo
Natale, Papai Noel, Father Christmas, and Kris Kringle.
See more on the origins of Santa Claus
A popular urban myth is that back in 1928 Coca Cola invented Santa Claus.
What fuels this myth is that his red coat matches perfectly the Coca Cola
The truth is that while early Santa Claus often wore green, Santa Claus
in red was established by the 1860s, long before Coca Cola was invented.
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
A Santa Claus is facing the sack from a Dutch shopping centre after he smacked a young boy for pulling his beard.
Peter Hendriks hit the boy on the backside in front of dozens of shoppers in the town of
Rijswijk. Defending his actions, he said: 'If I hadn't
done that, he would have pulled off my beard and dozens of children would have been traumatised.'
Here are more festive sayings by the famous.
- 'Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes
of children, they are all 30 feet tall.'
- 'Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!'
- Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and
adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what
they want and their kids pay for it.
- Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never
seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
- 'A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing.'
- The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right
to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
- Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and
his present remembered.
- What a wonderful life I've had. I only wish I'd realized it
See more Christmas quotes.
Question: What do you get if Santa comes down your
chimney when the fire is ablaze?
Answer: Crisp Kringle.
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