Funny Labels on Products

Food and clothes are the best source of funny labels.  Even a friend who
is allergic to nuts laughed at: Peanuts - May contain nuts.

• Funny Labels on Products
• Funny Shop Window Advert
• 10
  Funny Warning Labels Found on Products
• Steve Wright Style Humor

Funny Washing Instructions

Seeing your funny labels reminded me of arriving home one evening from
work to find my wife in stitches with laughter, when asked what was so funny
she handed me a label taken from a small dog bed we had just bought for
our Jack Russell terrier:

Cheers, Dave Livsey

Funny Labels on Products:

• Warning: Peanuts - May contain nuts.
• Puma shoe box - Average Contents: 2
• International Yacht Varnish - Not suitable for marine use.
  Guy wonders if this was a translation problem, or whether it was by design?
• Birthday Card for a 2 year old - Not suitable for children under 3.
• Superman outfit - Does not enable wearer to fly.
• Child's
  Scooter - This product moves when used.
• Meat Product - Oven ready half-wild rabbit.
• Mozzarella salad bagel. - Keep refrigerated ...
  avoid the fridge.
• Sleeping Pills - Warning, may cause drowsiness.

Note: Please send us your Bizarre Product Labels.

Funny Shop Window Advert

Seen by Will in a café window in Emsworth, W. Sussex:

• Cleaner Lady Wanted.

By an amazing coincidence, Guy used to live in Maisemore Gardens Emsworth.

Will and Guy's Ten Funny Warning Labels Found on Products

1. Open packet. Eat contents. Instructions on a packet of
   peanuts.
2. Instructions: usage known. Instructions
   on a container of black pepper.
3. Serving suggestion: Defrost. On a frozen
   dinner.
4. Remove the plastic wrapper. The instruction on a bag of microwave
   popcorn.
5. Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone. On a
   box of pills.
6. Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
7. Use like
   regular soap. On a bar of soap.
8. Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat
   when it wants. On a bag of cat biscuits.
9. In order to get out of car,
   open door, gets out, lock doors, and then close doors. Car manual.
10. The
    appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.
    Instructions on an electric kettle.

Further Ten Hilarious Labels Researched by Will and Guy

1. Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand. Instructions on
   a chainsaw.
2. This product is not to be used in bathrooms. On a bathroom
   heater.
3. Shin pads cannot protect
   any part of the body they do not cover. On a pair of shin pads made for
   bicyclists.
4. Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use. On a battery.
5. For
   use by trained personnel only. On a can of air freshener.
6. Warning: Do not
   climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death. A
   label inside a protective bag, which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
7. Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. On a box of rat
   poison.
8. Do not use while sleeping. On a hair dryer.
9. Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it.
10. Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. On the
    packaging for a wrist watch.

Steve Wright Style Humor and Thought Provoking Questions

• Why is it that kamikaze pilots wore
  helmets?
  
• Why do you need a driver's
  license to buy alcohol when you can't
  drink and drive?
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
• What is the speed of dark?
• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
• When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
• Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
• If an orange is orange, why isn't
  a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
• There's
  a fine
  line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
• How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't
  live here?
• Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?
• How do you know when it's
  time to tune your
  bagpipes?
• Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Para-Olympics?
• Why do they call it a TV 'set'
  when you
  only get one?
• Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Footnote
Please send us your examples of funny labels on products.