Contents

Just Kissing

Kissing is a complex behaviour that requires significant muscular
coordination; just one kiss needs a total of thirty-four facial muscles
and 112 postural muscles.

 

No Kissing Allowed – Here Are Our Examples for You to Laugh AtFunny Kissing

  1. Just kissing is forbidden.  In the Warrington Bank Quay railway station, in Cheshire, EnglandVirgin Rail’s spokesman has told us, ‘We have not banned
    kissing in the station But we have put the sign up at the drop off
    point because it is not a very big area and it often gets busy with
    lots of traffic. The sign is a light-hearted way of getting people
    to move on quickly.’
  2. In some places kissing is a crime in the USA: it’s illegal
    in Indiana for a moustached man to “habitually kiss human beings”
    while in Hartford, Connecticut it’s illegal for a husband to kiss
    his wife on Sunday, and in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it’s a crime to kiss
    a stranger.We find these statements, found on the net,
    difficult to believe! Perhaps someone will contact us to confirm or
    deny them.
  3. On
    the suggestion and advice of the Chamber of Commerce for the Chicago
    suburbs of Deerfield, Bannockburn and Riverwoods in the USA.  Apparently they are popular signs in that particular neck of the
    woods. So, in Warrington Bank Quay, couples are forbidden from
    expressing their love in front of the building, and asked to take it
    instead into the designated “Kissing Zone” provided. Yes – kissing
    zone!No Kissing Sign
  4. This photo was taken in a taxi in Kuala Lumpur, the sign
    was on the back of the front seat. No kissing allowed in cabs or, in
    fact, anywhere in KL because it is illegal and carries with it a
    maximum penalty of a year in prison. Ouch!
  5. Many parts of India take a similarly dim view of the
    practice, as Richard Gere, the Hollywood actor, found to his cost
    when he kissed Shilpa Shetty, the beautiful Bollywood star, during
    an Aids rally in New Delhi.
  6. A no kissing sign spotted in Batu Ferringhi, northern
    Penang, Malaysia.
  7. Controversy has struck the Mexican city of Guanajuato,
    famous, or some may say infamous, for its “kissing alley” where
    public displays of affection are believed to bring good luck.Recently, the city council passed a public order bill that included
    the new offence of “obscene touching”, interpreted to include a
    prolonged kiss, which might land the offender with three days in
    jail. The outcry was so great that the law has since been reversed,
    with the mayor hastily declaring Guanajuato “capital of the kiss”,
    and explaining that just kissing was ok, he had only meant to outlaw “fondling far beyond
    the norm”.
  8. This sign is on a train window. If anyone knows where the photo
    was taken please contact us.

Just Kissed a Girl – And Liked It

No Kissing Sign

I kissed a girl and I liked it then I went to hell………………….. or
maybe jail [see 2 above]

Mexico Wins World Kissing Record on Valentine’s Day

Will and Guy can verify that the world kissing record has been won in
Mexico City when 39,897 people in the Zocalo [main square] locked lips
for ten seconds on 14th February 2009.

This beat the UK’s record claimed by Weston-super-Mare, Somerset,
England in 2007.

Obviously Mexico City is a place where kissing in
public is acceptable. Will and Guy have discovered that there are places
that frown on and indeed ban kissing in public. These kisses are not
necessarily passionate or vulgar but are simply kisses of greeting or
farewell.  See
more about Valentine’s Day kissing

Funny Kissing Facts

  1. The scientific name for kissing, snogging, osculating and
    bussing is philematology.
  2. Just kissing can burn off 26 calories in one minute.
  3. The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
  4. Eskimos, Polynesians and Malaysians and indeed, Ancient
    Egyptians, rub noses instead of kissing.
  5. Ancient Romans kissed each other on the eyes or the mouth as a
    greeting.
  6. Victorian etiquette, in the UK, required a man to kiss the back
    of a ladies hand.
  7. A standard greeting in Europe is a kiss on both cheeks or it
    could be two. . .or three or maybe four.
  8. African tribes pay homage to their Chief by kissing the ground
    on which he has walked.
  9. In Ireland, you will have good luck if you kiss the Blarney
    Stone.
  10. Allegedly the Chinese didn’t kiss until the practice was
    introduced by Westerners, and they’re still not very keen on it.

10 More Trivia About Funny Kissing, Snogging, Osculating and
Bussing.

  1. Snogging helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva
    it creates helps clean out your mouth.
  2. In Naples, Italy, in the 16th century, bussing was an offence
    that carried the death penalty. Ouch.
  3. A passionate kiss uses 29 facial muscles. [34 is mentioned at
    the top of the page – take your pick]
  4. Sensitivity of the lips is many times higher than that of the
    fingers.
  5. It is thought that 66% of people keep their eyes closed while
    kissing.
  6. Osculating can actually be a beauty treatment. Scientific tests
    show that good kissing helps reduce dermatitis, skin rashes and
    blemishes. It also makes your skin glow and your eyes shine. [that
    is, if they’re open]
  7. Fifty percent of all people have kissed romantically before they
    reach 14 years old.
  8. Just one kiss can contain up to 278 different bacteria, 95% of which
    are non-dangerous.
  9. Men who kiss their wives every morning before going to work
    supposedly live 5 years longer than men who don’t. Who works these
    things out?
  10. A real kiss quickens your pulse to 100 beats in a minute.

Footnote:
Please send us your examples of funny kissing stories.

See more pictures and jokes about funny people:

• Funny people jokes   •
Farmer jokes   •
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Sissy   •
Grandma flies   •
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