Funny Halloween Sayings

Where there is no imagination there is no horror.
Sir Arthur Conan
Doyle

• 5 Halloween Sayings
• 10
  Fun Halloween Quotations
• Halloween Jokes
• Funny Halloween Sayings
• Scary Halloween Stories

5 Halloween Sayings

1. Tis now the very witching time of night,
   When churchyards yawn
   and hell itself breathes out
   Contagion to this world. - William
   Shakespeare
2. Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
   Voices whisper in
   the trees, 'Tonight is Halloween!' - Dexter Kozen
3. There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people:
   religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.- Linus from "It's the Great
   Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
4. This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger
   mask. And the best part?  With a mouth full of candy you will sound
   just like him. - Conan O'Brien.
5. From ghoulies and ghosties
   And long-leggedy beasties
   And
   things that go bump in the night,
   Good Lord, deliver us! - Scottish
   Saying.

Will and
Guy Bring You 10 Fun Halloween Quotations

1. The witches fly
   Across the sky,
   The owls go, 'Who? Who?Who?'
   The black cats yowl
   And green ghosts howl,
   'Scary Halloween to
   you.'
   - Nina Willis Walter .
2. ''Tis now the very witching time of night,
   When churchyards yawn
   and hell itself breathes out
   Contagion to this world.'
   - William
   Shakespeare
3. If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.- Lloyd Douglas
4. 'From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things
   that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!'
   - Scottish
   Proverb .
5. 'Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue
   of dog,
   Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's
   leg, and owlet's wing,
   For a charm of powerful
   trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.'- William Shakespeare .
6. There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival
   reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the
   adult world.
   - Jean Baudrillard
7. Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite,
   All are on their rounds tonight;
   In the wan moon's silver ray,
   Thrives their helter-skelter play.
   Joel Benton
8. 'You wouldn't believe
   On All Hallow Eve
   What lots of fun we
   can make,
   With apples to bob,
   And nuts on the hob,
   And a
   ring-and-thimble cake.'
   - Carolyn Wells
9. On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
   Rodney Dangerfield
10. 'Tis the night - the night
    Of the grave's delight,
    And the
    warlocks are at their play;
    Ye think that without
    The wild winds
    shout,
    But no, it is they - it is they.
    - Arthur Cleveland Coxe

A Creepy Tale from a Vienna Graveyard

Chris Cross, a tourist in Vienna, is going passed Vienna's
Zentralfriedhof graveyard on October 31st.  All of a sudden he hears
some music.  No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
Chris finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a
headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that
the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he
leaves the graveyard and persuades Tim Burr, a friend, to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This
time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being
played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When
they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.
The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order
in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.  By
the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave.
They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in
the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just
decomposing!"

Funny Halloween Sayings

• Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.  Kurt Vonnegut
• Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoken to.  Richard H. Barham
  
• Where there is no imagination there is no horror.  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
• At first cock-crow the ghosts must go
  Back to their quiet graves
  below.  Theodosia Garrison
• If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.
   Lloyd Douglas
• We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic.
  David Russell

Halloween One-liners

1. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
   Fasten your
   sheet belt.
2. Doctor, doctor, I'm so ugly. What can I do about it?Hire yourself
   out for Halloween parties.
3. What do you say to a fishermen say on Halloween?"Trick-or-trout!"

Silly
Things People Say That Probably Annoy You and Me

• People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.
• People who are willing to search the entire room for the TV remote
  because they refuse to get up and change the channel manually.
• People who say, 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'.
  Yes! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
• People who say, 'it's always the last place you look'. Personally, I
  tend to stop looking once I've found it.
• When people watching a film say, 'did you see that?' What do they
  think I was watching?
• People who ask, 'Can I ask you a question?'
• When something is "new and improved". Which is it?
• When people say, 'life is short'. Life is the longest thing anyone
  ever does. What can you do that's longer?
• When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, 'Has the bus come
  yet?'. If the bus had come would I be standing there?

Footnote:
Please send us your funny Halloween sayings.