Funny Halloween Graveyard Stories

What kind of streets do zombies like to haunt the best?
Dead end streets.Halloween Graveyard Stories



Strange Goings On in the Portchester Graveyard

Roger Letzer was visiting the cemetery near Portchester Castle in England
and he couldn't help noticing a man kneeling in front of a gravestone,
clasping his hands and sobbing.  Roger went a bit closer and could hear
what the man was saying.  'Why did you have to die?' he was repeating,
'Why did you have to die?'

Feeling he ought to do something to alleviate the man's obvious distress
Roger laid his hand on the his shoulder saying gently, 'Was it someone you
loved very much?'

The man looked up at him and said, 'No, I never met him, he was my wife's
first husband.'

A True, Graveyard Spooky Story
from Southend, Essex
Funny Halloween Stories

A cemetery has been hit by a plague of web-spinning caterpillars. Parts
of Sutton Cemetery, in Sutton Road, Southend, Essex, England, resembled a
set from a horror film with the silk-like thread draped over trees, plants
and gravestones.

The transformation is the handiwork of bird cherry ermine moth
caterpillars who have spun a huge nest. The bugs are known as web worms and
at the caterpillar stage, weave the leaves of trees together and eat them
from their nests.

Natural History Curator at Southend Museum, Mr Roger
Payne, confirmed to Will and Guy that the caterpillars will emerge as moths
next month. He said, 'They have good years and bad years and this is
obviously a good one. Because they are on the ground, it seems that they are
so abundant they are starving and have fallen from the trees to search for
food. When fully grown, the moths will be white with five rows of black

Moth Cemetery

Council staff confirmed that they have no plans to get rid of the
Funny Halloween Stories

More Spooky Happenings in the Cemetery

Can You See the Ethereal Girl in the Photo?

Will and Guy have found this infrared photograph that was taken by Jude
Huff-Felz during a parapsychological investigation by the Ghost Research
Society in Bachelor's Grove Cemetery, Chicago, Illinois, USA on August 10,

We are unable to ascertain its veracity, although some experts believe it
to be true.

Funny, Strange, Quirky Halloween Tales and Jokes

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A Hoblin' Goblin.

Hide and Seek - A Creepy and Frightening Story
A Young Bride Who Goes Missing
Before Her Honeymoon.

A young couple got married and, after the wedding,
they held a reception in the bride's grandmother's house. All their family
and friends arrived and they laughed, danced and sang, long into the night.

After the wedding reception, the guests decided to play a game of hide and
seek. The groom covered his eyes and began counting to a hundred while his
new bride and the other guests ran out of the room, looking for somewhere to

Eventually, the groom had found everyone except his beautiful
bride. The other guests began calling out her name and searched everywhere
for the young woman. They began to grow more and more uneasy when they
couldn't find any trace of her.

Eventually they gave up searching and
everybody assumed that the girl had run away and left her husband. As the
weeks went by, the husband accepted that his beautiful bride must have had
second thoughts about their marriage. He decided to forget about her and go
on with his life.

A few years later, a cleaning lady was dusting in the
attic when she came across an old trunk. Out of curiosity she opened it.
Inside the trunk, she found the rotting corpse of a young woman, still
dressed in a bridal gown. There was a wedding ring on one bony finger. It
was the missing bride. She must have hidden in the trunk and accidentally
locked herself inside. It was impossible to tell whether she had suffocated
or starved to death, but her face was frozen in a silent scream.

online at Scary for Kids

Funny Halloween Short Tale

Nora Bone was delivering a new plastic skeleton to the doctor's office.
As she waited at the main desk Nora was aware that the waiting room full of
patients was staring at her.  So she smiled and said," I am bringing
him in to doctor Henderson."

An old lady said sympathetically, "My
dear!  Isn't it a bit late for the doctor?"

The Green Lady - Another Spooky Tale from the CemeteryFunny Halloween Stories

Burlington, Connecticut, USA, the "Green Lady Cemetery" is haunted by the
ghost of a woman who drowned in the nearby swamp. According to local legend,
a woman named Elizabeth lived with her husband in the house next to the

During a particularly bad winter the husband left their house
to get food and supplies. Unfortunately the storm was so bad that he was
delayed for a few hours.

Meanwhile Elizabeth had grown concerned and had
taken it upon herself to venture out into the storm and find her husband.
She got lost in the marshy woods and accidentally wandered into the swamp.
She became trapped in the quicksand-like mud and slowly sank down, crying
out for help.

Her husband was making his way back to the house, carrying
a lantern to guide him, when he came upon his wife, sinking up to her neck
in the marshy swamp. For whatever reason, the husband refused to help her,
no matter how much she pleaded with him. He simply watched as his wife sank
deeper and deeper, ignoring her screams for help.

Eventually, the water
rose above her head and Elizabeth drowned in the murky waters of the swamp.
Since then, witnesses have reported seeing the ghostly figure of a woman
walking on the dirt road surrounded in green mist.

They say the haunted
cemetery is home to Elizabeth's ghost and that she has returned to haunt her
husband until his death. Her ghost drove him insane as revenge for watching
her die.  But she did not leave after the death of her husband. Many
residents in the area have sighted her in the past thirty years.

A young
couple taking pictures in the churchyard, saw a green mist over one of the
graves. When they checked later, they found that this was the grave where
Elizabeth was buried.  A group of teens driving through the haunted
cemetery were surprised by a green mist that suddenly appeared in front of
the car, and caused them to swerve and crash into a tree.

A mysterious
light is often seen near the swamp. Those who have seen it describe it as a
lamp or lantern that doesn't move at all. It just remains motionless by the
side of the swamp. Locals believe that this is a lantern held by the ghost
of Elizabeth's husband, coldly watching his wife drown.  A group of
friends walking through the cemetery said they were chased out by a
mysterious man holding a lantern.

If you drive by the cemetery, you can
see the house next door and the Green Lady's portrait can be seen through
the window. Locals say that even though the old house is abandoned, the
portrait is still lit, bathed in a weird green light.

online at Scary for Kids

More Halloween Graveyard Stories

Halloween Graveyard Story from Vienna

Chris Cross, a tourist in Vienna, is going passed Vienna's
Zentralfriedhof churchyard on October 31st.  All of a sudden he hears
some music.  No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
Chris finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a
headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that
the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he
leaves the graveyard and persuades Tim Burr, a friend, to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This
time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being
played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When
they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.
The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order
in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.  By
the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave.
They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in
the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just

Halloween Yarn From An
English GraveyardHalloween Haunted House Story

One dark, windy Halloween night, just outside Doncaster in Yorkshire, England,
Neil, the town drunk was meandering his way home after the pub had closed.
Somehow Neil got turned around and ended up walking through the graveyard in
St Mary's church instead of taking the Tadcaster road home.

The wind howled louder and Neil thought he could hear a voice calling his
name. Suddenly, the ground opened up in front of him, and he fell down, down
into an open grave. He could still hear the voice clearer and louder now,
calling to him. Neil knew it was Satan, coming for him just like the vicar
had said, on account of him being the town drunk.

The hole was very deep
and inside it was pitch black. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and after a
few moments, and he made out a form sitting in the darkness with him. It
called his name, and he scrambled away in fear, trying to climb out of that
terrible grave. Then the figure spoke to him, 'You can't get out,' it

Neil gave a shout of pure terror and leapt straight up in the air, caught
the edge of the hole in his hands, and scrambling out for his very life, he
ran for home as fast as he could go.

Inside the open grave, his neighbour Tony sighed in resignation. He, too,
had fallen into the hole a few minutes before his friend and had thought
that together they might help each other climb out.  Now he was going to have
to wait until All Saints Day morning and get the gravedigger to bring him a ladder.

Pictorial Halloween Story

This young fellow,

Ghost Train - Short Story

... is about to ride the escalator into the dark at the top where he may
find ..

A witch on a broomstick logo

... these partying ladies.

Pumpkin Ladies

Then, later that night they fly home ....

Funny Halloween Wicca

See more Halloween ghost stories

Ghostly Halloween Graveyard
StoryScottish Gravedigger

Sean and Wayne were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a
shortcut through the cemetery.

When they were right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by
a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.  Catching their breath
and trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel,
chipping away at one of the headstones.

'Great grief, Mister,' said Sean, his voice quivering, 'You scared us
half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What on earth are you doing
working here so late at night?'

'Those fools,' the old chiseller grumbled, 'they've misspelled my name.
And I had to wait until Halloween before I could crawl out and fix it.'

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