Making your own Guy used to be an essential part of Bonfire Night in Will
and Guy's childhood. Children used to wheel their efforts around town in an
old pram or pushchair, or even a supermarket trolley, asking for a "penny"
with which to buy sweets or sparklers or if lucky to donate to parents to
buy some fireworks to set off in the back garden. The Guy was then often
thrown onto the home-made bonfire in the evening. Even though these
traditions have long died out, you can still have fun making your own "Guy"
for Bonfire Night. Could this be Will and Guy with their "Guy Fawkes" in Portsmouth,
November 5th 1957?
Guy Fawkes and Bonfire Night Jokes
Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire? Host: No jump up
there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
'Cause he was outstanding in his field'.
Also remember on Guy Fawkes Night, of all nights:
Keep the Pope off the moon. Spike Milligan
There was a new development for Guy Fawkes celebrations in 2007 - fake bonfires. The reason is because of the astronomic increase in cost of public liability insurance, which is now required for November 5th celebrations. Curiously, the problem is the
cost of insuring the bonfire and not the firework display. Trowse, Norwich, in Norfolk England The Trowsers community group organised a fake bonfire display, which was projected onto a 30 ft by 15 ft screen. The idea of using a film came after they brainstormed alternatives when insurers refused to cover
their bonfire. But Paul Billing, spokesman for The Trowsers, said: 'Quite a few people came and I think it went down rather well.' The three-hour film featured a bonfire that Mr Billing filmed in his back garden
before the recent concern over public liability insurance, and the unwillingness of companies to provide cover at a reasonable cost. The fake bonfire was popular with parents of young children who didn't have to worry about their little ones getting too near any real flames. See more examples of red tape killing fun
More Funny Guy Fawkes Cartoons
Fire At The Fireworks Factory
Guy Fawkes Ditty
Guy Fawkes has come and gone ...
But some of the things still linger
I held a banger in my hand ...
Has anyone seen my finger!
Bournemouth England August 2009 With firework, usually all you see is spectacular pictures and video
footage that seems to go on for hours, however, firework displays don't
always go smoothly. For example, in August 2009 over 100,000 people
assembled in Bournemouth for a "heart-pounding, roaring, glowing, explosive
event like no other - the launch of 110,000 fireworks in 60 seconds or
less". What happened was 100,000 rockets were all let off at the same time from
a barge just off the shore. People turned to one another said, 'was that
it?' or 'what was that?' London, England Millennium Eve The "River of Fire" was supposed to be a spectacular firework display
intended to engulf the Thames, however it fizzled out like a damp squib. Pittston, Pennsylvania USA 4th of July 2007 With firework display's it's easy to forget that sometimes things go
wrong and people get hurt. What probably happened in this Pittson
accident was that the fireworks went of nearer horizontally than vertically,
and injured about 20 people in the crowd. The mayor said the most serious injuries were suffered by two or three
people from the pyrotechnics company. He said two of the three were
classified as serious. One suffered burns and smoke inhalation and another
suffered a "shrapnel gash to the upper left leg."
How Many People Does It Take To Light a Guy Fawkes Bonfire?
How many safety inspectors does it take to light the bonfire?
One to light the match and three to hold the fire extinguisher
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes?
23. One to strike the match and twenty two to fill in the paper
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot
How many aerospace engineers does it take to light the kindling
0. You don't need a rocket science to start a bonfire.
How many Apple employees does it take to flame Guy Fawkes?
One to light the match and four to design the t-shirt.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the bonfire?
0. Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does
it take to light a bonfire?
Both of them.
How many fish does it take to set the Guy Fawkes bonfire burning?Surrealist.
Footnote: Please send us your funny Guy Fawkes
See more funny Halloween jokes, also clean pumpkin jokes