Inverse of Murphy's Law If something does go right subsequent events will show that it would have been better if it had gone wrong. Kindly sent in by Stephen Willis
- 1 Funny Things Found in Returned Books: by Librarian Jan Bild
- 2 Lateral Thinking Questions
- 3 1) Just read out loud what you see!
- 4 2) Apply what you have learned
- 5 Clever, Witty and Funny Mother-in Law Jokes
- 6 Solomon Delivers Justice to Mother in Law
- 7 Psychic Mother in law
- 8 Five Hilarious, Witty, Short and True Funny Crime Stories
- 9 A Witty, Wry, Stereotypical View of World Reaction to Terror Alerts
- 10 Funny, Amusing and True Folly Stories
- 11 Good Best Man Wedding Speech Joke
- 12 Lightning and Trees
- 13 Stairway to Heaven
- 14 Funny Pub Names
- 15 Ten Funny and Strange Ideas about Luck
- 16 See more good clean jokes and funny pictures:
- A rasher of uncooked bacon [presumably a book mark]
- A £10 note
- A shoelace
- One large feather
- A bag of hashish in a hole gouged in the book's centre pages
- A Pension book
- Love letters to Edith
- Vomit [sorry]
- Page where every letter 'O' had been coloured in
- Excrement [sorry again]
- Bank statements
Lateral Thinking Questions
1) Just read out loud what you see!Man ------------ Board Answer = See here
2) Apply what you have learnedStand ------------ Answer = See here
Psychic Mother in lawWhen Roger came home, his wife, Norma, was crying. 'Your mother insulted me,' she sobbed. 'My mother?' spluttered Roger, 'How could she do that when she is on holiday on the other side of the world?' 'I know.' Norma gulped, 'But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.' 'And?' 'At the end of the letter it was written: Dear Norma , When you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son, Roger.' See more Mother-in-law jokes
Five Hilarious, Witty, Short and True Funny Crime Stories
- A man went into a drug store in Baltimore, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a "Hefty-bag" face mask over his head. He then and realised that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask. He was arrested by security men.
- A Belgium news agency reported, last year, that a man suspected of robbing a jewellery store in Liege said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time.Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.
- Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home ............ With the chain still attached to the machine ............ With their bumper still attached to the chain. ............ With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. You couldn't make it up!
- When a man attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
- Investigating a purse snatching, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID.The suspect carefully eyed the victim, and shouted, 'Yeah, that's the woman I robbed.'
Lightning and TreesDetailed and recent research on lightning deaths has led us to want publicise the results: which trees [if at all] you might stand under in the event of a thunderstorm?
- It is extremely dangerous to stand under any tree during a thunderstorm.
- It is even more dangerous to stand under an oak than any other kind of tree.
- The next most risky trees to stand under are poplars and Scots pines.
- If you are determined be a complete maniac and stand under a tree during a lightning strike, but don't actually want to die, head for a beech. They are ten times less likely to be hit than oaks.
- According to the very few studies done, you are also much less likely to be hit by lightning under a sycamore, hawthorn or holly tree.
Stairway to HeavenSee more on our amazing staircases
Funny Pub NamesWe think these are good pub names, if Will and Guy were to open a new hostelry, this would be our short list of pub names:
- Devil's Punchbowl
- The Elusive Camel
- The Hung Drawn And Quartered
- The Fawcett Inn
- Dirty Nelly's
- The Hairy Lemon
- The Three-Legged Mare [locally known as The Wonky Donkey]
- The Hog In The Pound
- Pig and Whistle
- The Roaring Donkey
- Spread Eagle
- Dirty Dick's
- Filthy Mc Nasty's
Ten Funny and Strange Ideas about Luck
- He that is afraid of bad luck will never know good. - Russian proverb
- I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Stephen Wright
- It is bad luck to fall out of a thirteenth story window on Friday. - American Proverb
- I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. - Patrick Murray
- Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? Of course, why would Friday be an exception? - Anon
- If a funeral car passes you should hide your thumb. - Japanese belief
- A black cat crossing the street in front of you causes bad luck.
- A rabbit's foot, a four-clover leaf, or a horseshoe, may ward off bad luck to the owner.
- Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Luck never made a man wise. - Seneca