Funny Crocodile Pictures

Giant Crocodile Picture

A picture of one of the biggest crocodiles we have ever seen - taken in South
Africa.  You can get an idea of the size of the crocodile from the woman nestling under his forearm.

giant crocodile picture


The biggest ever crocodile is a tricky call.  The Guinness book of records
list 'Yai' a hybrid crocodile from Thailand at 20ft.  However, there are
claims for crocodiles of over 30ft.  What is indisputable is that the
largest species of crocodile is Crocodylus porosus which lives in estuaries.
Because this species of crocodile occurs all over the world, there are claims
from Indonesia, Bangladesh, South Africa and Australia.

Warning - Parachute Landing Area

Funny Crocodile Picture - Parachute Warning

Problem - Nobody Told the
Crocodiles

Will and Guy's humour - Crodiles welcome parachutist

What do you call a robber escaping by parachute?  Condescending.

Another Narrow Escape From
Crocodiles

Will and Guy's humour - Crodiles welcome parachutist

Did you know that a
collection of crocodiles is called a 'Float?


Funny Questions Asked by Visitors in the Everglades National Park

  • Are the alligators real?
  • Are the baby alligators for sale?
  • Where are all the rides?
  • What time does the 2 o'clock bus leave?

 Skinny Dipping

A 65 year old man called Albert had a large pond on the western edge of
his farm in Florida.  Over the years he had the pond converted for swimming. He laid a patio
complete with
picnic tables, and planted some peach trees. It was an

One late summer evening Albert decided to go down to this idyllic,
tranquil beauty spot pondto collect
some fruit; so he picked up a bucket and went to collect some peaches.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As Albert came closer, he saw it was three of young women skinny-dipping in
his pond.

He coughed to alert the ladies to presence and they all went to the deep
end.  Then one of the ladies shouted to him, 'we're not coming out
until you leave!'
No Crocodiles Swimming

Albert frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim, or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding up the bucket he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'

Some old men can still think fast!

Subject: Dog Pack
Attacks Gator in Florida

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a
certain justice manifested within that cruelty.  Special report by
Freddi Schneider.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally
considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team
work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and
"survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note
that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from
breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from
thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Not for the squeamish!

Dogs attack gattor

Alli
Shedden Adopts a 16 Foot Crocodile as a Petfunny crocodile picture

Alli
Shedden, from Siquirres in Costa Rica, found the crocodile, which had a bullet in its head, in a swamp.

He took the injured animal home, named it Poncho and nursed it back to health, reports Las Ultimas Noticias.  It
took him four years to heal the 58-stone crocodile - by which time he says his wife had accepted it.  See the funny crocodile picture below.

Man adopts a 16 foot crocodile as a pet.

Mr Shedden told Las Ultimas Noticias, 'The crocodile has never done anything to harm me, he knows who I am, it is
as if it is a dog, it eats off my hands.

'When Poncho arrived I was unemployed and now people pay to see me playing with my pet, I want to put together a show, so I can show the world our friendship.'

More Funny Crocodile Pictures

Those who throw objects at the crocodiles, will be asked to retrieve them!

Funny Crocodile Picture

Observe the picture carefully,
do you see that crocodile lurking in the murky water?

Please
Don't Sit On the Crocodile!Please don't sit on the Crocodile!

Funny Crocodile Picture

See more examples of Engrish here

Interesting Facts About
CrocodilesFunny Baby Crocodile

  • A group of crocodiles is called a congregation.  In Will and Guy's
    opinion, a more descriptive collective noun for crocodiles is a 'float' of
    crocodiles.
  • Unusually, the gender of crocodiles is determined by temperature.
    If the eggs are incubated tat over 33c,
    then the egg hatches into a male or 'bull' crocodile.  At lower
    temperatures only female or 'cow' crocodiles develop.
  • When the baby crocodiles are ready to hatch they start crying.
    This triggers their mother to frantically dig them out of their sandy
    birth-chamber.  At this point, if you are lucky, you will see the
    mother carry the baby gently in her mouth and take it to water.
  • Crocodiles and Alligators can live for at least 50 years.  There
    are claims for much older specimen, but as these are not friendly animals,
    it's got to be hard to prove some of the claims for those reaching 100 yrs
    old.
  • The crocodile's strategy of hanging around rivers and waiting for a
    tasty snack has stood the test of hundreds of millions of years.
    Powerful jaws, full of razor sharp teeth are just the combination to kill
    unsuspecting animals who come down to the river to drink.
  • Did you know that a crocodile cannot stick its tongue out?
  • Being reptiles, crocodiles are cold blooded, however they are masters at
    controlling their temperature by cooling off in water, or sun-bathing on the
    river banks - depending on the weather.
  • Alligators and crocodiles have a unique haemoglobin, which allows them
    to store more oxygen.  The benefit is they can stay underwater without
    breathing for long periods of time.
  • The phrase 'soft belly' could have been coined with the crocodile in
    mind.  There is such a huge contrast between it's upper 'dorsal' side,
    which is bullet-proof, and it's lower 'ventral' side which is as soft as a
    puff-ball.
  • Eight times a year a congregation of crocodiles gathers in on the Mary
    river to the east of Darwin Australia.  Instinct tells them that at
    these unusually high tides means masses of fish are going to leap over the
    barrier as the tide comes in.  On one occasion David Attenborough showed up
    and filmed about 60 crocodiles feasting on the fish as they tried to leap
    over the barrier.  See
    more crocodile pictures and interesting facts.

Crocodile and alligator differenceCrocodile Natural History

If you count the alligators and the caiman, there are 23 species of crocodile
in the world today. While they can crawl on their bellies, or even walk like
mammals, crocodiles are most at home in the water, as you can see from our funny
crocodile pictures.

Differences between Crocodiles and Alligators

Crocodiles more pointed 'V-shaped noses, whereas alligators have a wide
U-shaped, snout.  If you see a an olive brown body wriggling in a tropical
river it's more likely to be a
crocodile.  By comparison, alligators are darker and may appear almost black.

Will and Guy think that the teeth are the biggest clue in the croc -v- gator
debate.  In crocodiles, the lower 4th tooth
looks like a peg and juts into the upper jaw.  Alligators have a smaller
lower jaw, thus when they close their mouth you don't see much of the lower
teeth in general, and the 4th 'peg' in particular.

Crocodile Theft

One of the strangest thefts occurred in Darwin, Australia.  Police were
searching for thieves who stole 18 saltwater crocodiles. The thieves broke into
an enclosure at a crocodile farm and took 18 baby reptiles.  The little
crocs were less than 40cm (15 inches) long, amazingly they could be worth as
much as $1,000 each on the black market.

"They have obviously found a way to get in and remove 18 crocodiles from the
farm. Eighteen crocs of that size could fit in a tub and be moved reasonably
easily," police spokesman Matt Crichton told Australian Associated Press.
One motive maybe growing them for their crocodile skins which can be exported to
Japan or Singapore, where they can be made into boots, handbags and belts.

Crocodile Thefts - This
is NOT the Answer

giant crocodile picture

Alligator Theft? - Police Surprised by Live
Alligator in CarAlligator Car

Many car drivers are happy to transport their pets by car; dogs are
commonplace as passengers all over the world. Recently, however, Will and Guy
have established from 'The Facts' newspaper in Brazoria, Texas, USA that police
who stopped a Buick car for carrying out an illegal u-turn received a surprise
when they found that the driver was, in fact, a felon wanted for burglary.

What surprised the police even more was the fearsome reptile roaming free in
the car: a live alligator some six feet long. They took this photograph of the
alligator, at rest, on the rear window ledge.

Apparently the alligator was 'happy and content' and did not make any fuss
when he was arrested and taken to a local nature reserve and set free.

Please send us any funny crocodile pictures that you may have.