Will and Guy have funny quotations for all seasons. We trust that you will find 2 or 3
good Christmas sayings on this page.
- General Christmas Sayings
- General Hilarious Christmas Quotes
- Amusing Quotes from Christmas Movies
- Inspirational Rather Than Funny Christmas Sayings
Here are more festive sayings by the famous.
- 'Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!'
- 'Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes
of children, they are all 30 feet tall.'
- You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.Robert Paul
- 'A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing.'
- Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and
his present remembered.
- What a wonderful life I've had. I only wish I'd realized it
- 'Santa Claus has the right idea.
Visit people once a year.' Victor Borge
- Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the
work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Here are some famous Christmas quotes from the movies. As
usual, we have a mixture of happy and sad quotes.
- Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?
You know... the
birth of Santa.
- Snowman: Did you hear about the church that
Statler, Waldorf: Holy smoke! Muppets
- Doris: Would you please tell her that you're
not really Santa Claus, that there actually is no such person?
Kris Kringle: Well, I hate to disagree with you,
but not only is there such a person, but here I am to prove it.
'Miracle on 34th Street' (A quote from one of the best Christmas movies)
- Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets
It's A Wonderful Life
- Charlie, stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you
don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key
The Santa Clause
- Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there
weren't a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to
have a holiday season to emphasize it? Charlie Brown Christmas
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
See more funny quotes.
Christmas Sayings: Angels
- Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly
entertained angels. Hebrews
- We are like children, who stand in need of masters to enlighten
us and direct us; and God has provided for this, by appointing his
angels to be our teachers and guides. Saint Thomas Aquinas
- We shall find peace. We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky
sparkling with diamonds. Chekov
- These things I warmly wish for you: Someone to love, some work
to do, A bit o' sun, a bit o' cheer, And a guardian angel always
near. Irish Blessing
- True friends are like angels. They are precious and rare, and
false friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
- 'Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his
- 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in
return'. Eden Ahbez
- See more about Christmas
Another Batch Of Funny Christmas Sayings
- 'The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity
scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons.
T hey couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.'
- Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and
adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what
they want and their kids pay for it.
- Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never
seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
- The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right
to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
- 'I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a
note on it saying, toys not included.' Bernard Manning
- 'I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took
me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.'Shirley Temple
- 'Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he
wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to
cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy
isn't laundering illegal drug money?'
- Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve.Old age is when you're forced to.
- Funny New Year quotes.
Here are delightful quotations to help us appreciate and reflect on
- 'Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.'
- 'Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold,
everything is softer and more beautiful.'
- 'Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every
Helen Steiner Rice
- 'The best
of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy
family all wrapped up in each other.'
- 'I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and
open a jar of it every month.'
- 'Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't
find it under a tree.'
- 'There has been only one Christmas - the rest are
- 'A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.'Eva K. Logue
- 'I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men! - Longfellow
- 'I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.'Charles Dickens
- Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true
meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.
- 'He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.'Roy L. Smith.
Inspirational Quotes for Christmas
Quotes for the Meal - And Serious Thoughts for a Grace
- We should look for someone to eat and drink with
before looking for something to eat and drink. Epicurus
- Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need
all the preservatives they can get. Robert Orben
- Morning Star Headline
- It's not the minutes spent at the table
that put on weight, it's the seconds. Anon
- Reba McEntire: To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a
backbone and a funny bone.
- How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
Only one, but
you REALLY have to squeeze to get him in. Anon.
- There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who
know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
- What a wonderful life I've had. I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
- There is no sincerer love than the love of food. George Bernard Shaw
- If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you,"
that would suffice. Meister Eckhart
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Please send us your favorite funny Christmas sayings and quotes.