- Christmas Party Stuff
- Snow Prevents Getting to Work
- Political Correctness - Even at Christmas
- Father Christmas Stuff and Nonsense
- Christmas Jokes for Adults
How Many Days of Christmas?
Funny Christmas Singing Stuff
Sung To the Tune of "Deck The Halls"Deck the malls this Christmas season, fa la la la la, la la la la Blow your cash for no good reason, fa la la la la, la la la la Push your charge card to its limit fa la la, la la la, la la la Your check book now has nothing in it. fa la la la la, la la la la.
After the Christmas Party...
What goes ho, ho, ho, bonk? Santa Claus laughing his head off.
Who's the bane of Santa's life? The elf and safety officer. Catherine Tate
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas? Sandy Claus.See more Snow Pictures here
Santa's - Bad Back
Funny Stuff From Christmas Crackers
- Why did the turkey cross the road? Are you kidding? It's Christmas - he should run a mile. Stephen K Amos
- Why did the atheist cross the road? So he could see both sides. Tom Wrigglesworth
- A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre ...... So the barman gives her one. Meera Syal
- How many ears has Captain Kirk got? Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear. Ben Miller
- Who's the bane of Santa's life? The elf and safety officer. Catherine Tate
- Never read a popup book about giraffes. Sean Lock
- Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar... Or, as you like to call it, delicatessen. Sean Hughes
- Man: I'll have the steak and kiddley pie, please. Waiter: I think you mean steak and kidney? Man: That's what I said, diddle I? Alexander Armstrong
- Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa. Steve Pemberton
- How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poker face. Shazia Mirza
- I've started dating this Jewish podiatrist. I'm in love with her footspa. Phil Nichol
- What do you call a man who's been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder? These are good crackers, aren't they? Who bought these? Chris Addison
- How do you know if Santa is really a werewolf? He has Santa claws! Dave Hill
- What do you give a railway station master for Christmas? Platform shoes. Will
See funny Christmas trees »