Funny Chinese Food Stories

Funny Chinese Takeaway

In Chinese cuisine Will and Guy have come across a famous Cantonese
saying which states that "Anything that walks, swims, crawls, or flies
with its back to heaven is edible."


Strange, Extraordinary and Funny Eating Habits in China

It is not surprising that the Chinese have unusual diets.  Here
are a few examples of funny Chinese food:

  1. Sparrows are a common food both in the street and as a snack at
    home.
  2. Banquet specialities include cow's lung soaked in chili sauce,
    goose stomachs, fish lips with celery, goat's feet tendons in wheat
    noodles, shark's stomach soup, chicken-feet soup, monkey's head, ox
    forehead, turtle casserole, pigeon brain, deer ligament and snake
    venom, also lily bulb.
  3. Some people in China eat dirt as "famine food." See above.
  4. Huangshan Stone Frog is a speciality of the Anhui province.
  5. Thousand-year-old eggs, a Guangdong delicacy, are made from duck
    eggs coated with lime, ashes and mud and soaked in horse urine for
    100 days until the yolks turns green and the whites become
    gelatinous and dark brown. The Chinese also eat duck eggs that are
    packed in a pot and buried in the ground.
  6. Interestingly, the Chinese considered many foods eaten by
    non-Chinese to be strange. They consider eating a plain cooked steak
    as primitive and unappetizing. Many regard eating cheese or butter
    as disgusting and find the French custom of eating snails to be
    strange.

A Funny and Amusing
Story from China
Funny Chinese Food

Eccentric Chinaman

Li Sanju claims to have survived for two years eating nothing but
leaves and grass. The Chinaman from Niuwei village, Guangdong province,
says he is perfectly happy with his unusual diet. He informed Will and
Guy that he looks no different to other people in his village - but
admits he does smell strongly of grass. 'I watched a TV programme which
said a man can live more than 10 days without food but just water, so I
thought I would try living on the natural things near my home,' he said.

At first, he tried eating grass in a field like cattle - but it
tasted bitter and made him ill, we have found, 'I suspect that the field
grass has been polluted by pesticides, so I changed to the plants in the
mountain behind my house, and I never had any problem,' he added. 'I
used to be known as a sick man in the village, always in hospital, but
since I changed my diet, I've never been to see the doctors. Even the
tumour on my right foot has disappeared.'

The Local Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital said most of the
plants were edible and not toxic but he did not recommend Li's diet to
us, which is a great relief.

Food Specialities
from the Regions of China

  1. Hunan dishes include spicy frogs' legs, tripe and sea cucumbers.
  2. People from Sichuan eat duck intestines, pig brains, frog's
    thighs, green bean seeds and rabbit ears.
  3. In Qinghai you can find sheep vein, yak vein, caterpillar
    fungus, a seaweed-like black moss known as "hair grass," and
    stir-fried camel's foot.
  4. Among the dishes one can find in Harbin are "yellow flower"
    (chopped lily stalks), grilled bear paw, stewed moose nose with
    mushrooms, white fungus soup, and monkey-leg mushrooms.
  5. In Manchuria, frog oil taken from frog ovaries is often added to
    soups and stews served at expensive restaurants.
  6. Yunnan favourites include live goat foetus, caterpillar fungus,
    three-year cured ham, fried goat cheese, and deep fried bee larvae.
  7. Delicacies from Hubei Province include snake meat, venison from
    spotted deer, soft-shell turtle and crocodile claw.
  8. Cobra-bile wine is consumed in Canton.
  9. People in Beijing like ant soup.
  10. Dog, known as "fragrant meat," has long been a popular food in
    northeast and southern China and in recent years has become popular
    in other places

Chinese Restaurants are Always
Good for a Laugh

Funny Chinese Drive In

How much does a Chinese restaurant weigh? ............ Won Ton


Insects, Rats, Turtles and Snakes as Food in China

  1. Bee larvae is served in some restaurants.
  2. While in some places Chinese still eat cicadas, crickets, giant
    water beetles, stinkbugs, silk worms, cockroaches and fly maggots.
    People that eat these things tend to be poor and have no other
    sources of protein.
    In some places Chinese eat live scorpions
    doused in baijiu, a potent Chinese liquor.
  3. Giant water bugs are boiled and soaked in vinegar. Their shells
    are cracked open like the shells of crabs and the flesh inside is
    eaten.
  4. The scorpions sold on the streets in Beijing are grabbed live by
    the sales people, dipped in boiling oil for second and skewered on a
    stick.
  5. Grasshoppers are widely eaten in China and other places around
    the world. Insects are rich in protein and are a far greener way to
    get protein than eating chicken, cows and pigs, which produce
    greenhouse gases and consume much of the world's grain.
  6. People in some parts of China are fond of eating rats. This
    custom has been around a long time. Chinese in the Zhou dynasty who
    ate rats, calling them "household deer."
  7. Turtles have long been associated with longevity and health.
    Widely consumed in soups and stews, the Chinese believe they provide
    lots of nutrition and replenish energy.
  8. Snake meat is often referred to as dragon meat on the menu. Many
    of the snakes served at Chinese restaurants come from the Snake
    Repository in Wuzhou, Guangxi Province, where more than one million
    snakes are raised each year.

Footnote:
We have had a laugh at some funny
Chinese foods, but Will and Guy wonder what the Chinese think of
'Western' foods?

Funny Chinese Food One-liners

  1. English mothers feed their babies with tiny spoons!
    Chinese mothers use toothpicks!
  2. Man with one chopstick go hungry.
  3. Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.
  4. Man who dream of eating giant mushroom -
    Wake up with no
    pillow.

The Story of Chen and The CakesFunny Chinese Cake Jokes

Chen was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local snack
bar where he bought a cake.  When Chen had eaten the cake, he found
that he was still famished, and so he ate a second one.

Even then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in
succession, but he hadn't satisfied his hunger.  Not until Chen had eaten
the seventh cake did he feel satisfied.

Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this
before, I would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have
been enough and there would not have been any need to eat those six
others.'

Huang Fu and the Bottle of Wine Parable

Huang Fu was a very rich man who was deliberately tough on his
farmhand, Hop. Huang Fu gave Hop a bottle and said, 'Buy me a bottle of
wine.'

Hop, the poor farmhand enquired, 'How can I buy you wine with no
money at all?'
Huang Fu replied disdainfully, 'Anyone can buy wine
with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money.'

Time elapsed and Hop eventually returned farmhand returned with the
empty bottle. He handed the bottle to Huang Fu and murmured, 'Enjoy the
wine, please.'

Staring at the empty bottle with some dismay, Huang asked, 'There is
no wine, how can I enjoy this?'

Hop replied to Huang Fu, with a straight face, 'Anyone can enjoy wine
if there is some.  It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is
none.'

Huang Fu made a choking sound but was unable to utter a word.

Chinese Humour, Parables and Tall Stories

10 of the Best Chinese Proverbs

  1. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
  2. A life with love is happy; a life for love is foolish.
  3. War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
  4. A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a
    song.
  5. Three humble shoemakers brainstorming make a great statesman.
  6. Visiting monks give better sermons.
  7. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains
    a fool forever.
  8. An ambitious horse will never return to its old stable.
  9. A conversation with a wise person is worth of ten years' study
    of books.
  10. Chinese 'Cracked Pot' Parable

More Funny Chinese Food
Stories

It's a Dog's LifeFunny Chinese Takeaway

One evening, Bill and Jackson's wives decided to dine out a new Chinese
Restaurant.  Jackson's wife Julie was inseparable from her Pekingese dog
called 'Pepe'.  So Took took Pepe along with them to the restaurant.
Whenever they went to their usual restaurant the manager's wife looked after
Pepe while they ate, and they thought it would be no different this new
restaurant.

Julie and her friend Rachel, gave Pepe to the owner and went to their seats.
They ordered their meal, had a few drinks and eventually their meal arrived.
They were mortified when it turned out to be their beloved Pepe surrounded by
Chop Suey.

As the owner explained the next day to Bill and Jackson, they thought that
Julie and Rachel wanted the chef to cook the dog, not look after it while the
women dined.

Follow-up

In 2010 China are proposing a new law to ban eating dog meat.
Despite being an ancient custom eating 'fragrant meat', as dog meat is
euphemistically know, to be punished by a fine of up to 5,000 yuan
(£450) and 15 days in jail.

From serving it with turtle to stewing it with snake, China has
savoured the delights of dog and cat meat for thousands of years. But
now, the country known for its experimental culinary traditions could be
about to end a centuries-old custom and remove both animals from the
menu.

As part of a drive against animal abuse parliament, will consider the
bill at the National People's Congress, in April 2010.  Those
defending eating dog meat point to its value in Chinese medicine for
kidney complaints.  Fragrant meat is not universally liked in
China, and its stronghold is in Jaingsu province in the south east of
the country.

Funny Chinese StoryFunny Chinese New Year Jokes

Arresting Barbeque in ChinaArresting Barbeque in China

An escaped convict has been recaptured at a party organised at the local police station. Police in Xinzhu city, Taiwan, invited residents to celebrate the Moon Festival with them.  Officers could not believe
their eyes when they saw an escaped drug dealer called Chen, who had just been listed as one of the city's most wanted criminals, at the party.  Police officer Cai Zhengtong, who was in charge of the barbecue,
said, 'I saw a man dressed in an eye-catching yellow windbreaker enter the place and sit in the corner. He was enjoying the barbecue with the others.  I really couldn't believe my eyes, since the man was just
the criminal we were seeking.'

Police at the party quickly arrested Chen. He told officers he thought it would have been the last place police would have thought of looking for him.

20 Number 6
- Classic Chinese English Joke

It was Chinese New Year.  Bill and Jackson had just staggered back home
from a hard night's drinking when they noticed that a menu from the new
restaurant next door had come through the letter box.  On a whim they decided to
round off the evening with a take-away.
Jackson, was just off out of the door to fetch their meal when Bill turned to
him and said, 'Please get me 20 number 6 while you're at the take-away.

Jackson returned with their chicken Chou Mein, sweet and sour pork and 20 portions of egg
fried rice.  Bill said, 'Where's me cigs'. Jackson said, 'What cigarettes,
you asked for 20 number 6 and that's what you've got, enough egg fried rice to
feed a Chinese Junk from Shanghai to Hong Kong'.

Bill said, 'When I was last in England Embassy No 6 was a packet of cigs.'

Footnote
Please send us your funny Chinese food
stories.

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pictures ....


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