Funny Chicken Jokes

Classic tales of chickens crossing the road

• One Wednesday, a
  Husband Took His Wife to the Doctor
• Which
  Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?
• Mother Hen: A True
  Funny Tale From China
• Battery Hens Get Woolly
  Jumpers
• Chicken Story

One Wednesday, a
Husband Took His Wife to the Doctor

'Oh, doctor', he said, 'my wife thinks she's
a chicken'. The doctor gasped, 'That's
terrible. How long has she been like that?'

The husband replied, 'Three years'.
The doctor was horrified, 'Three
years! Why didn't
you bring her to me sooner?'

The husband said sheepishly, 'Because we needed the eggs.'

Here is a new twist on the eternal chicken joke:
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Mother Hen: A True Funny
Tale From China

A hen in China has reportedly adopted two orphaned puppy dogs after their
mother died.

Owner, Cao Fengying, of Majiaqiao village, Jiashan town, China, says the
hen was best friends with the puppy's mother.

Will and Guy have learned that
Cao reported, 'The hen and the dog had been friends for two years. They
would never fight but just play together. I thought the puppies would die
after their mother went but the next morning I discovered that the puppies
had gone missing. Then I heard the hen clucking in her coop. I looked over
and saw that the little puppies were underneath the hen.'

The hen now looks after her adopted children, defending them if anyone
approaches and letting them eat first at meal times. 'Once I even saw the
hen fight off several other chickens which were trying to steal the puppies'
food,' continued Cao.

Footnote:

If you are interested in cross-species helping one another then check out
the hippo and the tortoise

More On Why The Chicken Crossed the Road

Two Stupid Chickens

Chickens on the Road Story

On October the 11th 2007 a lorry load of chickens were being taken from a
farm where they were raised to the slaughterhouse.  2,500 birds managed to carryout a daring escape on the A80 near Haggs in Scotland.

When the lorry jack-knifed, true to form, instead of heading for the hills, like headless chickens they dashed about all over the dual carriageway.  What they did achieve was to bring much of the traffic between Glasgow and Stirling
to a halt.

We would like to wish the lorry driver a speedy recovery, for him it was not funny as he sustained severe back injuries.  Naturally, there were casualties amongst the chickens and about
500 died in the escape.

A Modern Phenomenon - Mobile Phone Pictures

While 'Why did the chicken cross the road' is an old chestnut, photographing anything that moves on a mobile phone is a relatively modern phenomenon.

To the police officers and chicken catchers, who were trying to catch the birds, it was irritating when a fleet of amateur paparazzi snapped their best efforts to capture the chickens.

Those filming on
mobile phones became so annoying and intrusive that the police despatched a special unit to take the registration numbers of the worst offenders.  At least 50 motorists can expect to receive £60 fixed penalty notices, (when the postal strike is over!).

Meanwhile most of the chickens, who had known nothing but a battery existence, were disorientated by their sudden exposure to wide open spaces and just hung around in groups waiting to be captured.
Local farmers said that wild chickens would have behaved in exactly the same stupid manner.
However, one chicken made his getaway....

Why Did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

• Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......

• C Chicken: It crosses the road
  without looking both ways.

• C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't
  have to cross the road, you'
  d simply refer to him on the other side.

See our more on the Computer Chicken

Self-Sufficient Chicken

Battery Hens Get Woolly Jumpers

More fascinating news has reached Will and Guy about Humans and Chickens.

Would you believe that we have found a lady who knits jumpers, jerseys,
for featherless chickens. A woman from Oxfordshire, England, has started
knitting sweaters for the naked creatures. Previously she had been supplying
local dogs with their woollies.

The jumpers are made from eyelash wool and were specially designed after
the chickens' measurements were taken.

Ms Blaine explained that measuring the chickens was problematic.
'Obviously they have quite small necks and big bodies,' she said, 'And I had
to make room for the wings. It was a bit like knitting a funnel.'

Footnote:
Please send us your funny chicken jokes.