A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no - he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for
weaving all over the road, ask him to get out of the car and take the breathalyser test. Just as he is about to blow into the bag, the police radio informs the policemen of a robbery taking place in a house a
short distance away. The police tell the partygoer to remain where he is, they will be right back; and they run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home.
When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has 'flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They
ask if Mr. X lives there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with 'flu and has been there all day. However, the police have his driver's
license. They ask to see his car,
and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find the police car, lights still flashing.
2) Good Deal for Freya
Freya was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift? With a
silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman. The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she
noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya. 'What's
in the bag?'
asked the old woman. 'It's
a bottle of gin that I got for my husband.' The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two.
T hen speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'
3) Crazy Aussie
A drunk driver tried to avoid arrest by leaping into the back of his moving car during a chase in the Australian outback. Police in the Northern Territory town of
Katherine were stunned when they realised the 24-year-old driver had abandoned the controls and jumped on to the back seat with his three passengers in an apparent attempt to fool officers. The runaway car
continued for 150 metres at 25mph before police on foot ran it down and applied the brakes. Police said the driver panicked when they tried to pull him over for a random breath test. Footnote: Please send us your funny car stories