Funny True Budgie Story

Here is
an original budgie story.  Admittedly, it's
over 25 years since my old friend Trevor first told me this true story.
My point is that it is an 'original tale'
from the horse's
mouth.

The way that you can always identify an original yarn is the extra detail that you don't
get when people copy or imitate the original story, joke or tale.
Trevor always knows people who are interesting, out of the ordinary, and they always have a tale to tell.

Gas Conversions

This story goes back to the time when gas appliances in England were being converted from methane
to natural gas.  A friend of Trevor's
called Barney had a good job as a fitter of these replacement gas appliances.
It was a lovely job because they were paid on piece rate.  The more houses
they could convert, the more they earned.

Barney got faster and faster at his job.  He was expert at unscrewing the old oven and boiler parts, then whipping in the new fittings.  He was so good that he could even convert the
appliances without turning off the gas at the mains.  Now to pull off this trick Barney trained his breathing along the lines of those boys who dive for oysters.  He would take a huge lungful of air,
take off with the old fitting - O.K. so gas escapes, but he soon whacked in the new shiny new joint, and then gasped another breath from an open window.  There was one other proviso for this risky shortcut,
the owner had to be out.

One day he knocked on the door, explained to the lady that he had come from the gas board about their north sea conversion.  The owner was delighted that she was finally going to move from the smelly old gas
to the new natural gas.  She told Barney that she just had to pop to the shops and as her husband was working in the garden, Barney could go ahead with his fitting.  Great thought Barney, this will be a quick
job, no need to turn off the gas at the mains.  The boiler was no trouble, but one of the jets in the oven was rusty and crusted.  Even though the gas was escaping, Barney sprayed a can of WD-40 on the
obstinate fitting and eventually it unscrewed and he whisked on the replacement part.

As Barney came up for air, to his horror, he spotted that the budgie in the kitchen was lying on its back at the
bottom of his cage.  It was not looking good, and to add to his trouble he could see the lady opening the gate at the bottom of the garden.  What to do?  Being resourceful, Barney cut a length of
fuse wire and wrapped it around the dead budgie's
legs and tethered him to his perch.  As a nice touch he even set the perch rocking, and then turned and met the lady in the door way. 'All done,'

Barney said as he sauntered down the path to the gate.

'Good grief, my budgie,'
said the lady.  Barney picked up the lady's
bad vibes and his chances of legging it were not improved by the sudden appearance of the woman's
husband
blocking his exit. 'Come back here,'
she said, and as his escape was cut off by the husband, he had no option but to turn and face the music.

'It's
a miracle', the lady said, 'when I left this morning, my budgie was dead, now he's

jumped up on his perch and is swinging away happy as you please'.

Footnote:
See more of
our free stories.

Checking the Gas Meters

Aa senior gas engineer from Central Utilities was training a young gas
fitter.  They parked their van at the end of the alley and worked their
way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her window and
observed them as they read her meter.

Once they had taken the readings, the supervisor said, "I bet I can race
you back to the van!"

"You're on!" his trainee said. They took off running.

Just as the supervisor edged out the trainee, so he saw the woman coming
up fast on his outside.  The supervisor turned around to face her.
"What's wrong?" he asked.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see the men from the gas company
running as fast as you were, I figured I'd better run too!"

Funny Dancing Cockatoo
Has Real Rhythm

Scientists Have Proof Say Will and Guy.  Neuroscientists in the USA
have proved that birds really do dance to music; after studying a cockatoo
shown on this web site.  See more
about this amazing cockatoo.

Here is Another Funny Budgie Story

See more about Einstein the
budgie

Robin: A Bird of Pray!

It might not be the largest member of the flock, but this bold robin can
easily out-sing all the other churchgoers.  The bird has become a fixture at
12th-century St Mary's in Portchester Castle, Hampshire after fluttering in
during the worst snow of the winter.

Interestingly, the village of Portchester, on the south coast of England,
is where Will comes from and he and his family still live there.  As a child
he often worshipped in 12th century church with his family.

Reverend Charlie Allen, 31, is delighted with her new red-breasted friend
whose vocal contributions to sermons and hymns are easily audible shown here
in this photo.

The vicar first spotted the bird inside St Mary's Church at Portchester
Castle, Hampshire, when there was a heavy snowfall in December 2010.   Since then the chirpy chappy has made the 12th Century Anglican church
overlooking Portsmouth Harbour its home and has received considerable
attention from the other parishioners.

Not only does the friendly male bird enjoy seeds and water left out for
it by the vicar, but he is even treated to crumbs of cake by people who are
visiting specifically to take its picture.   We learned that, "He eats
out of people's hands and visitors to the church are delighted.  He
moved in when we had a cold snap. He will occasionally fly outside but if he
comes back to find the door closed, he'll wait by it to be let back in
again."  What a magical 'bird of pray'!

Budgie in Shower?

What do you make of this budgie in the shower?  Will thinks it's a
frightened bird, while Guy bets that it's a china fake.

Footnote:
Please send us your budgie story